The Mudflats

Alan Grayson has really done it this time.  I did not think I could love him more, and I was proven wrong with this one email.  This is possibly the most hilarious anti-Palin piece I’ve ever read – and trust me, I’ve read a lot of them.  I bow to the master of the Palin takedown.

This is an actual email from Rep. Alan Grayson on Palin’s recent visit to Florida.  Don’t be drinking anything when you read it.

Subject: Palin Attacks Grayson; Grayson Applies Calamine Lotion to the Resulting Reddish Skin

On Friday night, Sarah Palin came to Orlando, and attacked Rep. Alan Grayson. This is what she said:

“I got to meet quite a few candidates who are lining up in a contested primary who want to take out Alan Grayson. And I think Alan Grayson — what can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won’t say anything about Alan Grayson that can’t be said around children. [Good one, Sarah!] But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That’s what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC.”

Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.

In response to Palin’s attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson’s entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida.

Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin’s imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.

When asked to comment about what effect Palin’s criticism might have, Grayson pointed out, “As the Knave’s horse says in Alice in Wonderland, ‘dogs will believe anything.’” Earlier, as the Orlando Sentinel reported, Grayson said, “I’m sure Palin knows all about politics in Central Florida, since from her porch she can see Winter Park,” which is part of Grayson’s district.

Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it. “I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them,” Grayson added, alluding to Politifact’s “liar, liar, pants on fire” evaluation of much of what Palin has said.

Scientists are studying Sarah Palin’s travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.

First, it was those clever sleuths who uncovered my super secret connection to the White House, and those big fat checks I (and my fellow bloggers Shannyn Moore and Linda Kellen Biegel) get from George Soros to ruin Sarah Palin’s political career. If it weren’t for us, she “coulda been a contenda.”

Then recently, they went and figured out that I and the other “Alaskan Mafia” (we’re growing our numbers every day) had super secret connections to… the White House, and were now attempting to actually destroy Alaska’s gas pipeline!

And now THIS! Glenn Beck has uncovered my super secret connections to….(wait for it) The White House! Oh, the horror!

CLICK HERE to view.

[You can personalize and pass it on at the end!]

Here’s the latest in a long and unfortunate line of items I like to refer to as “Sarah-phernalia.” Behold the bobble head. I’ve seen others before, but never one all decked out in camouflage, and never one that’s quite so proud of its packaging.
 

Product Description

If you thought the Left was terrified of Sarah Palin, wait till they see her like this. Decked out in camo and strapped with a rifle, this sculpted, hand-painted, 7-inch doll represents the former governor’s refreshing refusal to care about pleasing the political and press establishments.

While the Sarah Palin Bobblehead Doll is moving her head, will it be liberals shaking at the sight of this one-of-a-kind collectors’ item?

The answer is pretty obvious: “You betcha!”

Shipped securely in custom box to prevent breakage.

Product Details

In stock and ready to ship

7″ tall

Base reads- Sarah “You Betcha” Palin

Comes in custom printed box and clamshell

Hand painted and sculpted

Wearing camouflage with hunting rifle

Shipped securely in custom box to prevent breakage.

Well, the best news of all is that it used to sell for a mere $39.95 but now, YOU can get it for the low low price of only $22.95.   Operators are standing by!  Now you can terrify a liberal with this clamshell packaged, custom printed, gen-yoo-wine Palin bobblehead in its own box!  Yes, the lefties will be shrieking in terror and sobbing into their little pink hankies when they get a load of seven-inch Sarah in her glossy three color custom box with real printing, designed perfectly to fit the actual bobblehead that comes inside!  Don’t delay.  Act now!

Sarah Palin likes to quote bumperstickers all the time, but I thought this magnet said it all.  It was found in a little shop in Galena, IL by Mudflatter Sue who passed it along via email.  It was the last one in stock, and she bought it!

It was kind of nice to take a day off today, sort of. It would have been nicer had I not spent the day filing. But it must be done once in a while to appease the gods.