Snow White and the Seven Republicans - and 52 other bedtime stories (12 July)

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[RennieP]

In 2004 Dick Cheney was vice president in the George W. Bush administration. While visiting the United States Senate, Mr. Cheney got into a debate about his ties to Halliburton and President Bush’s judicial nominees, and he said clearly “f**k yourself” to Senator Patrick Leahy on the floor of the Senate.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A3699-2004Jun24.html

Recently Mr. Cheney made the following comment regarding the incident:

“That’s sort of the best thing I ever did.”

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/04/cheney-cursing-at-leahy-sort-o.html

Yes indeed. This is what is known as a “moment of epiphany”.

Of course, it does put the rest of Mr. Cheney’s life and accomplishments into proper perspective.

[RennieP]

Found this on the Internet a while back …



Ha, ha, very funny. But surely, nobody could really be that stupid, could they?

Well, um ...

Once upon a time, long, long ago, when I was a young man I owned a small cheap sports cars. A Triumph Spitfire, for fans of nostalgia.

Late one evening when I was driving home a police car pulled in behind me and turned on the flashing blue lights. I pulled over and stopped and rolled down the window (the top was up), and waited. The policeman walked up to me and looked down at me and said, "This car is stolen."

I looked back at him in surprise, and blurted out, "No it isn't! It's right here!"

The policeman looked at me in silence for a while, and then muttered, "OK", and went back to his police car.

I'm guessing that he came to the conclusion that I was too stupid to be a car thief.

[RennieP]

Robert Gibbs, the White House Press Secretary, was all smiles as he handed out a written statement to the reporters gathered for the daily White House briefing:

POLL SHOWS OBAMA WEALTH REDISTRIBUTION WORKS!

A recent CBS / NY Times poll confirms that the Obama administration's aggressive wealth redistribution policies are working! Key findings:

   61% of all Democrats are getting richer, only 7% getting poorer
   16% of all Republicans are getting richer, while 23% are getting poorer
 
Bottom line: Money talks, and its flowing to Democratic voters! Suck it up, Party of No'ers!

Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/pdf/poll_obama_050310.pdf

 -- end --

Many of the reporters present expressed skepticism. "Robert, that's not what that poll says!" opined Linda Jones of the Washington Post. "It says 61% of Democrats think the economy is getting better, and 23% of Republicans think it's getting worse. That's not the same thing."

"Of course it is!" countered Robert Gibbs. "When you ask someone if the economy is good or bad, they answer based on their personal situation. Look, Republicans may be idiots, but when 23% of them say the economy is getting worse, it's because the economy is getting worse, for them. It's President Obama's great vision at work!"

Prescott Aversione of ABC News wasn't convinced. "Robert, I think there are some other factors involved, like wishful thinking and party-line loyalty and the influence of the person's prefered media. It can't really be true that four times as many Democrats as Republicans are experiencing increased incomes - that makes no sense, unless you have a more convincing explanation."

"Look Prescott, it's not so hard to figure out. It works like this: Republicans are stupid, and under the Bush administration it was profitable to do stupid things like putting your money in a Ponzi scheme or being a contractor who rips off the U.S. Government or putting your money in investments that exploit the middle class with financial constructions designed to fail. Now, with President Obama at the helm, it's not so smart to do stupid things. Now it's time for us Democrats to reap the financial rewards of being much more intelligent than the knuckle-draggers."

"So what's the ultimate goal here, Robert?" asked Linda Jones. "Are you hoping to push all Republicans into poverty?"

"Yeah, that would be great," was Robert Gibbs' reply, as his face lit up in a beatific smile. "Couldn't happen to a sweeter bunch of assholes. Let's face it, for eight years those morons did everything they could so the super-rich could get richer while all the rest of us paid the bill. Unfortunately, I doubt it will work like that. Republicans may be dumb, but at some point most of them will realize that those times are gone forever, and they need to get on the winning side. They aren't going to sit around and watch the stock market go up and the Democrats' wealth go up while they chant 'hell no' to everything while getting poorer and poorer. One last question?"

Jefferson Bladder-Slough of Fox News had been getting redder and redder in the face. Now he exploded, "That's frigging socialism! God meant that the rich should be rich! That's why He gave them money, and no conscience! Obama is a communist, and you're his pitiful lackey!"

Robert Gibbs just rolled his eyes and said, "Point taken, Jefferson. See you all again tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen." He was laughing and patting his trouser pocket where he kept his wallet as he left the room.

[futurexpat?]

 

[RennieP]

Sign seen in southern Oregon:



To the owner of the above sign:

Dear Sir or Madam,

We object! On behalf of The American Federation of Liars, Bigots and Morons, it is my job as vice president for Public Relations to lodge a formal complaint.

We liars, bigots and morons do not wish to be associated with the people named on your sign. We too have our standards. It is people like Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck who give us liars, bigots and morons a bad name.

May I respectfully request that you alter or remove your sign. If this is not done within 14 days from today's date we will have no option but to refer the matter to our lawyer.

Best regards,
Clondyne Mergenford

[Forty Watt]

RennieP, have you linked to your blog?  I'm sure folks would like to know what else you're saying. 

If not, you can do so here -

http://www.themudflats.net/forum/index.php/topic,1906.200.html

[RennieP]

OK, I've now posted a link to my blog on that thread.

Thanks for your support.

[futurexpat?]

Another 

Awesome photo! 

[RennieP]

This posting is a continuation of a previous posting, "Beauty and the Beast", about a little-known radio interview done with Sarah Palin by a local radio station in Anchorage back in January 2010.

Interviewer: Do you mind if I go back to something that I'm sure you consider to be ancient history now? Do you remember that TV interview you did with Charlie Gibson for ABC News? Is it OK if we talk about that?

Palin: Yeah, sure, whatever. That was a great moment for me, my first TV interview on national TV, just after John McCain had selected me as his running-mate.

Interviewer: Right! Now the thing that everyone focused on was that question about the Bush Doctrine, where Charlie Gibson asked you, "Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?", and you just sort of froze up for almost three seconds, and then you said "In what respect, Charlie?" Now, I'm wondering, what was that all about? Like, most people assumed it was because you didn't know what Charlie Gibson was talking about, but you know, there was something about your body language that, well, what happened there?

Palin: Yeah, well, that was kind of embarassing. I don't know if I should tell you - ah, what the hell, nobody listens to your silly program anyway, so here goes: You see, I misunderstood Charlie Gibson! I thought he said something else, and it was, well, I couldn't believe he was asking me what I thought he was asking me, so that's why I freaked out. Anyway, fortunately he fed me a follow-up question, and then it dawned on me - the "Bush Doctrine"! That's what he was asking me about.

Interviewer: OK, you misunderstood Charlie Gibson, but what was it you thought he said?

Palin: OK, this is a bit embarassing, like I said, but you know in my family the guys, Todd and Track, what they say when one of us womenfolk have to visit the gynecologist, they say, "time for some bush doctorin' again?" They think they're so funny! And I just couldn't believe that Charlie Gibson was asking me about that on national TV!

[futurexpat?]

 

[Gramiam]

Rennie, you should have issued a "spew" warning with that story!

[Jaime from Wasilla]

Git'er done!

 

[RennieP]

I was very lucky to get ahold of South Carolina State Senator Jake (Jakie) Knotts on the telephone.

Me: Hello, is this Senator Knotts?

JK: Yeah, that's me. Who the hell are you?

Me: Uh, my name is Rennie Petersen, and I'm phoning from Denmark. I'm really concerned ...

JK: What the hell is Denmark?

Me: Denmark? Uh, it's a country in Europe. You do know about Europe, don't you?

JK: Of course I know about Europe! One of those friggin' foreign countries, or something. Look, I'm pretty busy, what do you want?

Me: Yes, I do appreciate your time, Senator Knotts. I'm calling because I'm very concerned about your recent statement where you said, "We’re at war over there", and then you elaborated by saying that by "over there" you meant "foreign countries". May I ask, are you saying that South Carolina is at war with Denmark?

JK: Nah. Look, I just have to keep the "we're at war" hype going, that's what gets votes around here. Everything foreign is fair game, you know what I mean? So you can relax, OK? So where abouts is this Denmark you're talking about, is it near, um, Cairo for example?

Me: Uh, no. And Cairo is a city in northern Africa, not Europe. Now I'm curious, tell me Senator, have you ever been out of South Carolina?

JK: Of course I have! Jeez, what do you think I am, some kind of ignorant redneck? Hey, I've been out of South Carolina twice, um, maybe even three times, can't remember. Look, can we call it quits now, I've got, I don't now how many other calls on hold.

Me: Just one last question, if I may. Have you ever been out of the United States?

JK: Out of the United States! Hell no, you calling me a traitor or something? Nothing outside the United States is worth shit - uh, no offense meant.

Me: That's OK. I mean, you've insulted President Barack Obama, so I guess I'll take the point of view that being insulted by you is an honor. Well, thank you for your time. Bye now.

JK: Yeah, well, you take care, y'all. And come and visit South Carolina, you hear? Even if we end up with that friggin' foreigner as governor we're a great place to visit! 

[futurexpat?]

 

[RennieP]

The White House has announced that President Barack Obama, in response to numerous suggestions, has had a telephone conversation with Tony Hayward, CEO of BP. Asked for more information, the White House spokesman replied that the conversation was confidential, and would not be discussed further.

Fifteen minutes later a transcript of the conversation was available at Wikileaks.

Transcript also available here: http://ltuasoo.wordpress.com/2010/06/10/barack-obama-phones-tony-hayward/



Modified to add quote boxes 

[Sirenoftitan]

Thanks Rennie, I enjoyed that. 

[Forty Watt]

As did I RennieP.   

[futurexpat?]

 

 

[boodog]

Great RennieP!   

[RennieP]

Hello please, to all my American friends! My name is Henri, and I am sending to you from Paris this little message to help you to overcome your lack of good understanding about football.

Only the Taliban and some peoples on the American political right are making football a political thing.

Are you confused? There's more here.