Palin's resignation speech as interpreted by the Swedish Chef

And you thought Palinese couldn't get any worse Grin

Vhet un ebsulootely beooteeffool dey it is, und it is my hunur tu speek tu ell Eleskuns, tu oooor Eleskun femeely thees lest teeme-a es yuoor gufernur. Und it is elveys greet tu be-a in Feurbunks. Zee roogged roogged herdy peuple-a thet leefe-a up here-a und sume-a ooff zee must petreeutic peuple-a vhum yuoo veell ifer knoo leefe-a here-a, und oone-a theeng thet yuoo ere-a knoon fur is yuoor steedffest sooppurt ooff oooor meelitery cummooneety up here-a und I thunk yuoo fur thet und thunk yuoo Uneeted Stetes meelitery fur prutecteeng zee greetest neshun oon Iert. Tugezeer ve-a stund.

Und getteeng up here-a I sey it is zee best rued treep in Emereeca suereeng thruoogh netoore’s feenest shoo. Denelee, zee greet oone-a, suereeng under zee meednight soon. Und zeen zee ixtremes. In zee veenter teeme-a it’s zee fruzee rued thet is cumpeteeng veet zee feeoo ooff ice-a fugged freegid beooty, zee culd thuoogh, duesn’t it spleet zee Cheechekus frum zee Suoorduooghs? Und zeen in zee soommerteeme-a sooch ixtreme-a soommerteeme-a ebuoot a hoondred und feeffty degrees hutter thun joost sume-a munths egu, thun joost sume-a munths frum noo, veet furooeed bluumeeng elung zee frust heefes und merceeless reefers thet ere-a roosheeng und cerfeeng und remeending us thet here-a, Muzeer Netoore-a veens. It is es thruooghuoot ell Eleska thet beeg veeld guud leeffe-a teemeeng elung zee rued thet is nurt tu zee footoore-a. Thet is vhet ve-a get tu see-a ifery dey. Noo vhet zee rest ooff Emereeca gets tu see-a elung veet us is in thees lest frunteeer zeere-a is hupe-a und ooppurtooneety und zeere-a is cuoontry preede-a.

Und it is oooor mee und vumee in uneeffurm secooreeng it, und ve-a ere-a feceeng tuoogh chellenges in Emereeca veet sume-a seemeeng tu joost be-a Hell bent meybe-a oon teereeng doon oooor neshun, perpetooeteeng sume-a pesseemism, und sooggesteeng Emereecun epulugeteecs, sooggesteeng perheps thet oooor best deys vere-a yesterdeys. Boot es oozeer peuple-a hefe-a esked, “Hoo cun thet pesseemism be-a, vhee pruuff ooff oooor greetness, oooor preede-a tudey is thet ve-a prudooce-a zee greet pruood fuloonteers vhu secreeffice-a iferytheeng fur cuoontry?” Noo thees veek elune-a, Seun Pernell und I ve’re-a oon zee, um, oon Ft. Reech zee bese-a zeere-a, zee ermy chepel, und ve-a heerd zee lest rull cell, und zee suoondeeng ooff Teps fur three-a fery brefe-a, fery yuoong Eleskun suldeeers vhu joost gefe-a zeeur ell fur ell ooff us. Tugezeer ve-a du stund veet greteetoode-a fur oooor truups vhu prutect ell ooff oooor chereeshed freedums, incloodeeng oooor freedum ooff speech vheech, per fur zee cuoorse-a, I’m gueeng tu ixerceese-a.

Und furst, sume-a streeeght telk fur sume-a, joost sume-a in zee medeea becoose-a unuzeer reeght prutected fur ell ooff us is freedum ooff zee press, und yuoo ell hefe-a sooch impurtunt jubs repurteeng fects und inffurmeeng zee ilecturete-a, und ixerteeng pooer tu infflooence-a. Yuoo represent vhet cuoold und shuoold be-a a respected hunest pruffesseeun thet cuoold und shuoold be-a zee curnerstune-a ooff oooor demucrecy. Demucrecy depends oon yuoo, und thet is vhy, thet’s vhy oooor truups ere-a veelling tu deee-a fur yuoo. Su, hoo ’buoot in hunur ooff zee Emereecun suldeeer, ya qooeete-a mekeen’ theengs up. Und dun’t underesteemete-a zee veesdum ooff zee peuple-a, und oone-a oozeer theeng fur zee medeea, oooor noo gufernur hes a fery neece-a femeely tuu, su leefe-a hees keeds elune-a.

OoK, tudey is a beooteeffool dey und tudey es ve-a sveer in Seun Pernell, nu oone-a veell be-a heppeeer thun I tu veetness by Gud’s grece-a Eleskuns veet strengt ooff cherecter edfunceeng oooor belufed stete-a. Seun hes thet. Creeeg Cempbell hes thet. I remember oon thet December dey, ve-a tuuk zee ooet tu uphuld oooor stete-a cunsteetooshun, und it ves vreettee reeght here-a in Feurbunks by fery veese-a peeuneers. Ve-a shered zee feesiun fur gufernment thet zeey gruoond in thet ducooment. Oooor fuoonders vrute-a “ell puleeticel pooer is inherent in zee peuple-a. Ell gufernment ooreeginetes veet zee peuple-a. It’s fuoonded upun zeeur veell oonly und it’s insteetooted fur zee guud ooff zee peuple-a es a vhule-a.” Zeeur remerkebly soocceenct vurds gooeeded us in ell ooff oooor iffffurts in serfeeng yuoo und pootteeng yuoo furst, und ve-a hefe-a dune-a oooor best tu foolffeell prumeeses thet I mede-a oon Eleska Dey, 2005, vhee I furst esked fur zee hunur ooff serfeeng yuoo.

Remember zeen, oooor stete-a su desured und su deserfed itheecs reffurm. Ve-a prumeesed it, und noo it is zee lev. Iruneecelly, it needs eddeeshunel reffurm tu stup bletunt eboose-a frum perteesun oopereteefes, und I hupe-a zee levmekers veell cunteenooe-a thet reffurm. Ve-a prumeesed thet yuoo vuoold feenelly see-a a feur retoorn oon yuoor Eleskun oovned netoorel resuoorces su ve-a booeeld a noo ooeel und ges eppreeesel system, un is un iqooeeteble-a furmoola tu usher in a noo ira ooff cumpeteeshun und trunsperency und prutecshun fur Eleskuns und zee prudoocers. ECES incenteefizes noo ixplureshun und it’s zee ixplureshun thet is oooor footoore-a. It oopens up ooeel beseens und it insoores thet zee peuple-a veell nefer be-a tekee edfuntege-a ooff egeeen. Dun’t furget Eleskuns yuoo ere-a zee resuoorce-a oovners per oooor cunsteetooshun und thet’s vhy fur instunce-a lest yeer vhee ooeel preeces suered und stete-a cuffffers svelled, boot yuoo vere-a smecked veet heegh inergy preeces, ve-a sent yuoo zee inergy rebete-a. See-a, it’s yuoor muney und I’fe-a elveys beleeefed thet yuoo knoo hoo tu better spend it thun gufernment cun spend it.

I prumeesed thet ve-a vuoold prutect thees beooteeffool infurunment vheele-a seffely und itheecelly defelupeeng resuoorces, und ve-a deed. Ve-a booeelt zee Petruleoom Ooferseeght Ooffffeece-a und a soob-cebeenet tu stoody cleemete-a cundeeshuns. Und I prumeesed I’d gufern veet feescel restreeent, su tu nut immurelly boordee footre-a genereshuns. Und ve-a deed…ve-a slooed zee rete-a ooff gufernment groot und I fetued hoondreds ooff meelliuns ooff dullers ooff ixcess und vteeh levmekers ve-a sefed beelliuns fur zee footoore-a.

I prumsed thet ve’d leed zee cherge-a tu furverd foondeeng idooceshun, und huld schuuls eccuoonteble-a, und imprufe-a ooppurtooneeties fur speceeel needs stoodents und ilefete-a fu-tech treeening und ve-a peeed doon penseeun debt.

I prumeesed thet ve-a vuoold munege-a oooor feesh und veeldliffe-a fur eboondunce-a, und thet ve-a vuoold deffend zee cunsteetooshun, und ve-a hefe-a, thuoogh ooootseede-a speceeel interest gruoops zeey steell joost dun’t get it oon thees oone-a. Let me-a tell yuoo, Eleskuns reelly need tu steeck tugezeer oon thees veet noo leedersheep in thees erea ispeceeelly, incuooregeeng noo leedersheep… gut tu steeffffee yuoor speene-a tu du vhet’s reeght fur Eleska vhee zee pressoore-a muoonts, becoose-a yuoo’re-a gueeng tu see-a untee-hoonteeng, untee-secund emendment curcooses frum Hullyvuud und here’s hoo zeey du it. Zeey use-a zeese-a deleecete-a, teeny, fery telented celebreety sterlets, zeey use-a Eleska es a foondreeesing tuul fur zeeur untee-secund emendment cooses. Stund strung, und remeend zeem petreeuts veell prutect oooor gooerunteed, indeefidooel reeght tu beer erms, und by zee vey, Hullyvuud needs tu knoo, ve-a iet, zeereffure-a ve-a hoont.

I prumeesed inergy sulooshuns und ve-a hefe-a, ve-a hefe-a a plun celleeng fur 50% ooff oooor ilectreecity genereted by renooeble-a resuoorces und ve-a cun noo inseest thet thuse-a vhu huld zee leeses tu defelup oooor resuoorces thet zeey du su noo oon Eleske’s terms. Su noo feenelly effter decedes ooff joost telk, feenelly ve’re-a seeeeng ooeel und ges dreelling up zeere-a et Pueent Thumpsun. Und I prumeesed thet ve-a vuoold get a netoorel ges peepeline-a undervey und ve-a deed. Seence-a I ves a leettle-a keed grooeeng up here-a, I remember zee deescoossiuns, ispeceeelly zee puleeticel deescoossiuns joost telkeeng ebuoot und hupeeng fur und dreemeeng ooff cummerceeelizing oooor cleun, eboondunt, needed netoorel ges.

Oooor ges leene-a indoocement ect, EGIA, thet ves zee geme-a-chunger und thees is thunks tu oooor ooootstundeeng ges leene-a teem, und zee legeesletoore-a edupteeng thees lev, 58-1. Zeey knoo, zeey knoo EGIA is zee feheecle-a tu dreefe-a thees munoomentel inergy pruject und breeng iferyune-a tu zee teble-a, thees beepertisun feectury, it ceme-a frum Eleskuns vurkeeng tugezeer veet free-a merket preefete-a sectur preenciples, und noo ve-a ere-a oon zee rued tu zee lergest preefete-a-sectur inergy pruject in zee heestury ooff Emereeca. It is fur Eleske’s footoore-a, it is fur Emereece’s inergy independence-a und it veell meke-a us a mure-a peeceffool, prusperuoos und secoore-a neshun.

Vhet I prumeesed, ve-a eccumpleeshed. “Ve” meuneeng stete-a steffff, emezeeng cummeessiuners, greet steffff esseesting zeem, und cunsceeentiuoos Eleskuns ooootseede-a zee booreoocrecy - Tum Fun Fleeen, und Meg Stepletun und Kreestun Cule-a, su muny oozeers, muny fuloonteers vhu joost stepped up tu zee chellenge-a es guud Eleskuns, boot nutheeng, nutheeng cuoold hefe-a soocceeded veethuoot my reeght-hund mun Krees Perry. She-a is zee sherpest, buldest, herdest-vurkeeng pertner. Krees is my reeght-hund mun und mooch sooccess is dooe-a tu Krees.

Su mooch sooccess, und Eleska zeere-a is mooch guud in sture-a foorzeer doon zee rued, boot tu reech it ve-a moost felooe-a und leefe-a zee oopteemistic peeuneering spureet thet mede-a thees stete-a pruood und free-a, und ve-a cun reseest inslefement tu beeg centrel gufernment thet crooshes hupe-a und ooppurtooneety. Be-a very ooff eccepteeng gufernment lergess. It duesn’t cume-a free-a und oofftee, eccepteeng it tekes evey iferytheeng thet is free-a, melteeng intu Vesheengtun’s pooerffool “cere-a-tekeeng” erms veell joost soock incenteefe-a tu vurk herd und chert oooor oovn cuoorse-a reeght oooot ooff us, und thet nut oonly cuntreebootes tu un unsteble-a icunumy und deezzying neshunel debt, boot it dues meke-a us less free-a.

I reseested zee steemooloos peckege-a. I reseested zee steemooloos peckege-a und ve-a hefe-a chempeeuned iermerk reffurm, slesheeng iermerk reqooests by 85% tu breek zee cycle-a ooff dependency oon a steeffling, unsoosteeeneble-a federel egenda, und oozeer stetes shuoold fulloo thees fur zeeur und fur Emereece’s stebeelity. Ve-a dun’t hefe-a tu feel thet ve-a moost beg un elloounce-a frum Vesheengtun, ixcept tu beg zee elloounce-a tu be-a selff-determeened. See-a, tu be-a selff-sooffffeecient, Eleska moost be-a ellooed tu defelup - tu dreell und booeeld und cleemb, tu foolffeell stetehuud’s prumeese-a. Et stetehuud ve-a knoo thees. Et stetehuud ve-a knoo thees, thet ve-a ere-a respunseeble-a fur oooorselfes und oooor femeelies und oooor footoore-a, und feeffty yeers leter, pleese-a let’s nut stert beleeefing thet gufernment is zee unsver. It cun’t meke-a yuoo heppy oor heelthy oor veelthy oor veese-a. Vhet cun? It is zee veesdum ooff zee peuple-a und oooor femeelies und oooor smell booseenesses, und indoostreeuoos indeefidooels, und it is Gud’s grece-a, helpeeng thuse-a vhu help zeemselfes, und zeen thees elloos thet fery generuoos fuloontery hund up thet ve’re-a knoon fur, inthooseeesticelly prufeeding thuse-a vhu need it.

Eleskuns veell remember thet yeers egu, remember ve-a spurted zee oold boomper steecker thet seeed, “Eleska. Ve-a Dun’t Geefe-a a Dern Hoo Zeey Du It Ooootseede-a?” Du yuoo remember thet? I remember thet, und remember it ves becoose-a ve-a vuoold be-a deefffferent. Ve’d rull up oooor sleefes, und ve-a vuoold deeligently soo und reep, und ve-a cun steell du thees tu cerfe-a veelt oooot ooff zee veelderness und meke-a oooor leefing oon zee veter, veet strung hunds und innufeteefe-a meends, noo veet smerter technulugy. It is vhet oooor furst peuple-a und oooor perents deed. It vurked, becoose-a zeey vurked. Ve-a moost be-a proodent und perseestent und press fur zee peuple’s reeght tu respunseebly defelup Gud-geefee resuoorces fur zee mexeemoom beneffeet ooff zee peuple-a.

Und ve-a hefe-a cume-a su fer in joost 50 yeers. Ve’re-a nu lunger a frunteeer ooootpust oon zee pereephery ooff zee vurld’s greetest neshun. Noo, es a cuntreebootur und a secoorer ooff Emereeca, ve-a cun etteeen oooor desteeny in zee prumeese-a ooff oooor muttu “Nurt tu zee Footoore-a.” See-a, zee presseeng issooe-a ooff oooor teeme-a, it’s inergy independence-a, becoose-a zeere-a is un inherent leenk betveee inergy und secooreety, und inergy und pruspereety. Eleska veell leed veet inergy, ve-a veell prufe-a yuoo cun be-a but pru-defelupment und pru-infurunment, becoose-a nu oone-a lufes zeeur cleun eur und zeeur lund und zeeur veeldliffe-a und zeeur veter mure-a thun un Eleskun. Ve-a veell prutect it.

Yes, Emereeca moost luuk nurt tu zee footoore-a fur secooreety, fur inergy independence-a, fur oooor stretegeec luceshun oon zee glube-a. Eleska is zee gete-a-keeper ooff zee cunteenent.

Su, ve-a ere-a here-a tudey et a chungeeng ooff zee gooerd. Noo, peuple-a vhu knoo me-a, und zeey knoo hoo mooch I lufe-a thees stete-a, sume-a steell ere-a chuuseeng nut tu heer vhy I mede-a zee deceesiun tu chert a noo cuoorse-a tu edfunce-a zee stete-a. Und it shuoold be-a su oobfeeuoos tu yuoo. (indeeceting heckler) It is becoose-a I lufe-a Eleska thees mooch, sur (et heckler) thet I feel it is my dooty tu efueed zee unprudoocteefe-a, typeecel, puleetics es usooel, leme-a doock sesseeun in oone’s lest yeer in ooffffeece-a. Hoo dues thet beneffeet yuoo? Nu, veet thees deceesiun noo, I veell be-a eble-a tu feeght ifee herder fur yuoo, fur vhet is reeght, fur troot. Und I hefe-a nefer felt leeke-a yuoo need a teetle-a tu du thet.

Su, es ve-a ell mufe-a furverd tugezeer, let’s foo tu keep chempeeuning Eleska, tu edfucete-a respunseeble-a defelupment, und smeller gufernment, und freedum, und vhee I tuuk zee ooet tu serfe-a yuoo, I prumeesed…remember I prumeesed tu steedffestly und duggedly gooerd zee interests ooff thees greet stete-a leeke-a thet greezzly gooerds her coobs, es a muzeer netoorelly gooerds her oovn. Und I veell keep thet foo vherefer zee rued mey leed. Tudd und I, und Treck, Breestul, Treepp, Veelloo, Peeper, Treeg…I theenk I gut ‘em ell. Ve-a veell furefer be-a su greteffool fur zee hunur ooff oooor leeffetime-a tu hefe-a serfed yuoo. Oooor vhule-a beeg deeferse-a fooll und foon femeely, ve-a ell thunk yuoo und I em fery fery blessed tu hefe-a hed zeeur sooppurt ell elung, fur Tudd’s sooppurt. I em thunkffool tuu. I hefe-a beee blessed tu hefe-a beee reeesed in thees lest frunteeer. Thunk yuoo fur oooor hume-a, Mum und Ded, becoose-a in Eleska it is nut un iesy leefing, boot it is a guud leefing, und here-a it is impusseeble-a tu luse-a yuoor vey. Vherefer zee rued mey leed yuoo, ve-a hefe-a thet steedyeeng greet nurt ster tu gooeede-a us hume-a.

Su let’s ell injuy zee reede-a, und I thunk yuoo Eleska, und Gud bless Eleska und Gud bless Emereeca.
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