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March 28, 2024

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Friday, January 28, 2022

Open Thread – The Victim Chronicles

Bless the Mudflats Art Department. Just when you need the brilliance of the inimitable Flyinureye, there he is with another work, suitable for framing. But don’t put the glass over it or the darts will bounce.

I know we all appreciate this one in an extra special way, since we are still in the process of … blogging that dang book. Only two chapters left, so I think we’ll be able to wrap that sucker up this weekend. Won’t that feel good?

Comments

comments

Comments
95 Responses to “Open Thread – The Victim Chronicles”
  1. Thanks for all the laughs. The art work is excellent!

  2. sierraseven says:

    All righty then!

    Well, this episode was a bit less annoying than the others. The whole phony bit about Sarah being experienced with firearms get more and more thin with each episode – we keep seeing her having to have someone hand her a firearm ready to fire, and actually take the safety off for her.

    The Gosselin kids were less annoying than I expected. They really did seem to be enjoying the camping experience. Kate Gosselin was truly irritating. But it makes me wonder – if this was sort of a failure as a camping trip, why build a whole episode around it? Yeah, Kate was acting sullen and high-maintenance – but it seemed like they went out of their way to present a picture of her as a helpless, spoiled city person. Seemed like a tactic to prop up Sarah’s whole Mama Grizzly image.

    I’m still aghast at that brief clip of Willow or Bristol – couldn’t tell which – on the four-wheeler with a passel of kids on board. And I still want to know if it’s legal to cut firewood at that camping area.

  3. sierraseven says:

    Please excuse any typos – I have a cat helping me type.

    Sarah finds Todd off by himself fishin’.

    Kate has decided to leave. Her kids want to stay – so she tells them, “Fine. You’re a Palin now – you’re not a Gosselin”.

    Wow.

    The kids look happy, not cold, but Kate’s taking them off to a warm lodge apparently.

    Sarah says, “I suppose if she took me to New York for some red-carpet event, I’d be the same way.”

    WHAT!?! Oh, come on. Sarah eats up the “red carpet” type events. Who does she think she’s kidding?

    They bed down in the tents with the fire burning unattended … well, not really, I guess. The film crew was still there.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      LOL…
      glad kids were having fun…
      LOL , really, really loud
      glad I don’t have a TV…

  4. sierraseven says:

    And we’re back! Kate is still just sullenly standing under the rain fly. The kids all have on waders, they’re splashing around in the river and having a good time.

    OK, time to cook! The kids like their moose hot dogs – Kate looks disgusted.

    S’mores. More wood on the fire. Kate: “Why would you pretend to be homeless?” She’s getting more and more sullen. Now, I read some reports at the time that the show was being filmed that the Palins had enough hot dogs and hamburgers for themselves, but only “lunchables” packaged food for the Gosselins. Don’t know if that’s true – the kids look like they’re all eating grilled stuff, and Kate had a moose hot dog, which apparently she did not like. She was complaining about no paper towels, no hand cleaner, no utensils.

  5. sierraseven says:

    While the ads are on – anyone been watching that “Gold Rush Alaska” show? It’s jaw-dropping. A bunch of guys destroy land, a bridge, a truck, and a bunch of heavy equipment that they don’t know how to operate, in pursuit of gold in Southeast Alaska. It’s appalling.

    OK! Camping day! The Palins are heading out in advance of the Gs, to set up camp. And gosh, they’re flying there in a float plane! Because that’s what Alaskans do, right? They’re on the beach at Chulatna Lake, in the rain.

    Kate’s wishing it wasn’t cold and rainy. The Palins are building a fire. Anybody know if you can cut firewood there?

    Everyone looks like they have on good wet-weather gear. The G kids look a little baffled by the surroundings, but interested. Sarah’s brother shows them some salmon jaws. Kate’s hungry.The kids go fishin’. This part looks pretty fun for the kids. Kate has no bug dope on, and complains that she’s being bitten. Huh.

    They’re cutting more wood – is this legal in that area?

  6. sierraseven says:

    Here we go. Off to the “gun range”. The instructor wants them to scare the bears first with a “bear distraction round”. It’s apparently a kind of blank made to make lots of noise.

    Sarah fires one. Willow fires one. Now Kate’s going to (reluctantly) try a round. She’s using an actual round, and hits a bear target. Sarah hits a target – hard to tell the distance on camera, pretty close. Now she’s firing at a target on a cart – hits it twice. She’s talking speculatively about seeing bears – hasn’t she encountered bears in her vast outdoor experience? Oh, wait…

    OK, camping day! The Gs meet Chuck Heath and see his “amazing artifacts”.

    Holy cats – he’s got trophies all over the place.

    Picnic in the Palin yard … guess that awful neighbor wasn’t around.

  7. sierraseven says:

    The G clan arrive – all eight kids. Good lord, Sarah’s voice is shrill!

    The G kids break the tongue off of the bear rug. Kate interviews of her admiration for Sarah. A tour of Sarah’s TV studio. Whining about the neighbor AGAIN.

    I just noticed, Piper’s hair is done up in the patented Palin Bumpit style. Ewww. More complaining about the neighbor.

    The G kids stay with their nanny at the Palin home while Sarah, Kate, and Willow go off to an outdoor safety class. Kate is kinda freaking out about the possibility of bears. The instructor uses a bear skull to demonstrate where a bear will bite, on Willow. He uses the skull to poke Willow in the buttocks. Hmmm.

    They show the instructor their bear gun – Kate wants nothing to do with it.

    Break! More coffee.

  8. sierraseven says:

    A van pulls up with the G clan. Previews of the upcoming segment. Commercial break! Whew.

    I’m drinking some wonderful Kona coffee sent by a friend in Hawaii, to keep up my strength!

  9. sierraseven says:

    Sarah’s goin’ to the local gun shop to get a new firearm for her camping trip! Uh, why? Doesn’t he already have a bunch?

    She wants a “bear gun”. She’s at Chimo Guns.

    OK. nice views of the Valley. Now they’re hiking the Butte, a “family tradition”, allegedly.

    Nice view from the top of the Butte. This is apparently where that “embrace the mountain” shot came from. She’s whining about the “brutality of being in politics.

    Dammit, why does she insist on calling the mountain “Mt McKinley”!

    There’s those handrails again!

    Piper’s cheating on her homework. No consequences shown.

    Now she’s announcing to the kids that the Gosselins will be camping with them. Yay!

  10. Waay Out West says:

    Fascinating insight into Victim Queen Syndrome reading in the comments section of this article:

    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/133265-whitman-palin-quitting-governors-job-shows-attitude-against-constituents-interests

    Did you know that it is all the fault of THEY?

    “The truth is, in an effort to discredit a threat, they sent troops of lawyers to Alaska, filed dozens of bogus lawsuits. Palin was required to defend at her expense.”

    And also too it was all the gummint!

    “so the fact that the government was trying to force her state into paying for her to sit in court all the time isnt a generous reason to step down and remove that problem for the citizens?”

    I couldn’t manage more than one page

  11. sierraseven says:

    Previews playing now. Oh, here we go.

    The Palins hiking and running.

    Bristol or Willow on a four-wheeler with a bunch of small kids hanging on – and not a helmet among them! WTF!

    Previews of Kate Gosselin complaining and Sarah making sarcastic faces.

    Agh, the theme song.

  12. sierraseven says:

    All right, folks – it’s time. I’m going to do it again.

    Yes, my fascination for the grotesque (and my cast-iron stomach) lead me again to live-blog the “Sarah Palin’s Bizarro World” program. Right now I’m watching the end of last week’s episode.

    I hadn’t noticed it last time, but I must say they have a really, really nice shop set-up in their garage – looks like Craftsman or Snap-On tool chests and shelf units.

  13. faithful pup says:

    Quick-help me! Grab the other handle on the bucket, we need MORE water Now!!!!

  14. jzelouise says:

    comment should have been on the Bernie Sanders thread…Sigh.

  15. jzelouise says:

    Let’s try this again. Bless Bernie Sanders.

    I don’t know how the rest of you feel, but, I’m tired of being held hostage and sold out..

    I’m not buying the trickle down cr*p this time around either. Let the tax cuts expire. I’m ready to sharpen up my pitchfork and can make a dandy torch.

  16. dowl says:

    Sarah’s an idiot but she can not lead us in the Idiocracy that the GOPT appears to be too frightened to prevent. We are not idiots. Our POTUS is not an idiot, though we do have elected idiots that act on our behalf. Democracy in action should not include idiots.

  17. Califpat says:

    Palin is there for a photo-op and that’s it!!! She wants to pretend that she cares!! If the witch really cared, she would have donated some of her grifting millions to ease some of their sufferings!! But we all know no one can wrestle any of that cash out of her greedy money grubbing hands! Not even for a good causes!! So, if she did not do that, what was the purpose of her visit besides getting her mug shown with some Haitian people!!! She really, really, really makes me sick!!!

  18. Waay Out West says:

    Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin began a tightly stage-managed visit to Haiti on Saturday in which she visited cholera clinics while avoiding crowds and the press. Palin, who traveled in part by helicopter, provided access on her tour solely to the U.S. cable network Fox News…..Samaritan’s Purse posted pictures online of Palin touring a post-quake shelter, touching the hand of a Haitian child and laughing with Graham and Fox News host Greta van Susteren.

    http://www.newsminer.com/view/full_story/10642800/article-Sarah-Palin-visits-Haiti-under-tight-guard?

  19. sam hall says:

    The picture of Palin is the real Palin…Mudflats as always..great work.

  20. Man_from_Unk says:

    I hope somebody wrote something for her to say that won’t show how much of a DB she really is.

    • Mo says:

      Tnx again, OMG.

      Makes one really loathe the Republican slime orchestrating Palin’s version of their infamous “Southern Strategy.”

    • Hope says:

      Makes me wonder why she is going to Haiti? Photo op? I am always curious when they say, “why are those liberal elites so scared.” Perhaps, we have good reason to think that she will cause a riot in America and launch us into war with her remarks. How about that for starters. Thanks for the article updates OMG.

  21. OMG says:

    Let’s see how McCain stands up against Petreaus since the General said it’s time to end DADT and anyone who doesn’t like the change should leave the military.

    http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/11/petreaus-top-adviser-pushes-for-repeal-of-dont-ask-dont-tell/

  22. Lacy Lady says:

    Just read on a blog that people didn’t object to obama going to Haiti for a few hours at our expense just to get his picture taken. I don’t ever remember Obama going to Haiti. Am I mistaken?

    http://www.newsminer.com/bookmark/10633552-Group-releases-details-on-Palin-trip-to-Haiti

    • dahlia97 says:

      I don’t know about Pres. O going to Haiti but I read a Washington Post article that said Michelle O and Jill Biden spent a day there in April, meeting with the Pres. of Haiti.

      Quote from part of the article:
      “The trip is also intended to emphasize “the enduring U.S. commitment to help Haiti recover and rebuild,” according to a White House statement. The two high-profile emissaries will also ‘thank the women and men across the whole of the U.S. government for their extraordinary efforts in Haiti during the past three months. They will also reach out to the UN and international relief communities in recognition of the truly global effort underway to help Haiti.’ ”

      The two were representing the U.S…..I don’t think Palin can make that claim….who is she again?

    • laingirl says:

      Lacy Lady, I’ve never heard of President Obama going to Haiti either, but if he went, it would have demonstrated that the US cares about the people of Haiti, which is important. I don’t know what Palin going will do; maybe take cookies as she did with the Native Alaskans. Pat Buchanan said it would add to her foreign experience “cred,” which gave me a laugh. It will be just like her foreign experience because Russia can be seem from an Alaskan island.

  23. jojobo1 says:

    Really really I wouldn’t think palin would take that kind of chance.Those people may be religious but I don’t think they would like her at all if they have kept up with the news. maybe put a voodoo on her

  24. AlaskaDisasta says:

    “Howz that booky thingy going?”

    Only two chapters left, so I think we’ll be able to wrap that sucker up this weekend. Won’t that feel good?

    “You betcha!”

    (I don’t know how you can even stay awake reading her staccatos musings – the woman’s a complete, and shrill, whack job, and a liar to boot)

  25. Lacy Lady says:

    I hear that trip to Haiti is on for today—–against the State Dept. warning.
    Will we be getting photo ops soon????? Think? one of the hospitals where people are being treated for cholorea (sp) is on the agenda.

    • KJ in NC says:

      I just saw a headline that she is there with toys. My reaction was, “OH NO!”….out loud. My poor dogs think I am talking to myself again. Just spoiled my lunch. Ugh!

    • Millie says:

      If they are going in complete opposition to the State Department’s warning, why in the hell are they allowing it? Makes absolutely no sense to me at all. Is trying to ‘act’ brave or what? The woman makes me sick!

    • gran567 says:

      I saw a brief squib on TV as they arrived. Showed $P, Todd, Bristol, Piper and I think Trigg. Who takes care of Tripp?

  26. biglake says:

    I’m trying to take a break from $arahP and have been listening more to BBC radio4 lately. There was a recent discussion program (In Our Time) about Thomas A Edison and I found myself drawing uncomfortable paralles with……….really?

    It turns out that Edison really knew how to use the media to his advantage. Anything that would get him attention was soon on every news headline across the country.

    He also was behind the Menlo Park ‘invention factory’, composed of other inventors besides him. Granted, he was a driven man, but he also took credit for any Menlo Park invention whether it was his or not.

    A contemporary of his commented that he didn’t have a conscience — and this was from a Robber Baron.

    There are tons of examples from Edison that are light years opposite $P, but I thought the above were interesting in that they helped him become a celebrity.

    Anyway, if anyone would like a definite change from the drivel on most mainstream media here, check out the website that hosts the program.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/in-our-time/

    • Schroon Lake says:

      Yes, when it was obvious that Westinghouse and Tesla had the right idea with AC power, as opposed to Edison’s DC power grids, Edison started a vile campaign against “killer” AC electricity and even electrocuted a live elephant to scare people away from Westinghouse-Tesla’s ( all power grids are AC) AC grid.

  27. MinNJ says:

    The best ever! I’m forwarding it immediately…

  28. Baker's Dozen says:

    A loss for Miller is a loss for Palin. It may not make much difference in the way votes are cast in the Senate, but tarnishing Palin’s flag is a good thing Rusty patriotic jewelry on book jacket, anyone?

    http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Elections/Senate/2010/1211/Joe-Miller-Lisa-Murkowski-US-Senate-race-appears-to-be-over

  29. OMG says:

    This is a superb article by Christopher Hichens about Beck, the Tea Parties past and present:

    http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2011/01/hitchens-201101

    • dahlia97 says:

      Wow! Great article. And while reading it, I had this thought: I’ve been wondering why the moderate Republicans haven’t spoken out much about what is going on in their party, about Palin, about Beck. And could the possible answer be–they have been, but their words are not being reported….just as I’ve heard people ask why the moderate Muslims haven’t spoken out in opposition to radical Islam…the answer must be that they have been, but it’s not being showcased…the corporate media owners, the commentators and the journalists are handing the stage to the likes of Glenn Beck & co.

      • jojobo1 says:

        Very very possible maybe Wikileaks can look into that

      • A fan from CA says:

        I think you have hit the nail on the proverbial head. The MSM does not want to talk about the real issues. Why else are they acting as a PR machine for a bunch of NJ’s. They only seem to report on anger. The louder and more crazy the better from both sides.

        I have been very disappointed how the details of what’s in the tax package has been sorely unreported. Just the angry reactions from both sides. Can’t we make up our own minds when give facts? Or wait, the MSM no longer bothers with facts, just spin.

    • Mo says:

      Thanks! One of the reasons I love trolling Mudflats comments is that someone always posts some juicy link or other.

  30. naughtymonkey says:

    My past week was nasty, including computer tower problems, won’t bore you w/ details. Your post and flyinureye’s visual brought a smile to my face and a song to my heart. Now if I can download Yahoo Widgets to this computer, I will find my favorite widget 4 having fun w/ Palin’s pics. Have to keep you in suspense as to name of Widget , ’cause I might get thrown into moderation. Suffice it to say, the widget involves computer effects R/T hunting, etc.
    P.S. This computer , also running WIN XP, cannot see past a certain amt. of comments on page 1, and cannot see more pages beyond page 1, so maybe it’s XP that has problems w/ The Mudflats blog.

    • Nan (aka roswellborn) says:

      I’ve got WIN XP, and no prob at all seeing all the comments. But I am using “Google Chrome” as my browser, not Internet Explorer. Dunno if that could make that big a difference, but it’s a thought.

      • MonaLisa (inCT) says:

        All the comments show on the same page, naughtymonkey. The comments PLUS their replies are included in the total count listed in bold just above comment #1.

        (F’rinstance: As I write this, # 31 is the last comment listed, but the count says there are 71 comments. Counting every comment & every reply separately adds up to 71.)

    • Waay Out West says:

      Not an XP problem, sounds more like a firewall or browser problem.

  31. maelewis says:

    Is it too late for a little touchup to the wonderful picture? A little caribou blood dripping from the red fingernails might lend confirmation to the idea that Sarah really is a seasoned hunter.

    • OMG says:

      Oooooh, I’d love to see what is thrown and her to make her melt…then I’d like to know where to buy some.

      • OMG says:

        wow…my typing is terrible: should have read “I’d love to see what was thrown on her to make her melt. Sheesh.

      • overthemoon says:

        Maybe it could be printed on special paper that melts when splashed with any liquid….cheap toilet paper comes to mind.

        but I gotta say, “But don’t put the glass over it or the darts will bounce” is definitely the quotable line of the day!!!!

  32. formerwriter says:

    As a Californian, I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this blog, its slice of Alaska and the sanity it brings as Palin hysteria took over after the RNC in 2008. One of our state’s best papers does reviews of entertainment, and I have to laugh each time they review SPA. Here is the link to the last one, which I know was a week ago: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2010/12/decoding-sarah-palins-alaska-no-one-is-gonna-help-you.html#comments

    My favorite sarcastic line: “It’s a tundra miracle!”

    Thank you, AKM, for the hilarious synopsis– and commentary– of both “books” written by Palin’s ghostwriters. You keep me sane. I think many people are starting to catch on.

    • OMG says:

      Interesting article…thanks for posting the link.

    • nswfm says:

      There were a few funny lines in there, but I really liked this comment:

      “Being a former Alaskan, and being one who communicates daily with Alaskans, I can say the only Alaskan I knew who liked Sarah Palin died five months ago. I really fail to see what substance she has to her character.”

      I wonder if that was the 1 Alaskan who contributed to her PAC.

      • formerwriter says:

        Hilarious! I don’t know any Alaskans that I can ask. I bet you’re right, nswfm!

  33. Diane says:

    An outstanding picture!
    The only other person who could wear this almost as well is Michelle Bachmann, but she doesn’t whine and twitter as well, often and with such lies as the Former, Quitter, Twitter Queen!

  34. Lainey says:

    who in their right mind would want to run for president on the way ‘down’ the popularity slide? oh wait, I forgot I was talking about palin…never in her right mind!

  35. Polarbear says:

    Oh wee oh, ooo OOO oh, Oh we oh, ooo OOO oh ….

    • Miss Demeanor says:

      Yeah Polarbear!
      One Halloween I went to the Boulder, Colorado, Mall Crawl dressed up as a palace guard, and I couldn’t talk for a week from chanting “Oh wee oh, ooo OOO” for 6 hours”.
      Remember, even the Flying Monkees celebrated the Witch’s demise?
      That’s the scariest part.

    • Baker's Dozen says:

      No no. Winkies are good guys! They chant “oREo. oREEEo.” They’re really into sandwich cookies! 🙂

  36. Zyxomma says:

    I thought “Reverend” Muthee had protected SWWNBN from all types of witchcraft? Guess he forgot to protect her from herself!

  37. nanindallas says:

    I had a funny dream about Sara last night.

    I was driving along and came across SP whose car had broken down. I told her I would tell her people where she was (but didn’t give her a ride). When I told her people what had happened, no one seemed to care. They started telling me really awful things about her…..but finally someone went to get her. She was only a couple of blocks away but couldn’t bother to walk the short distance herself!

    • Lainey says:

      premonition? maybe her sheeples are waking up after a long zombie trance…one could only hope.

  38. nswfm says:

    “Today is the last day for voting in Boston radio station WRKO’s “Next Great Political Blogger” contest. Internet voting ends Saturday night at 11:59pm EST. Lynnrockets thanks all of for voting. If any of you folks have not yet voted multiple times (and are inclined to do so), please notice that the establishment lights are flashing because it is last call. Please vote here (http://wrko.radiotown.com/ngpb/vote.php). Vote for “Kevin McCarthy” in the spot next to the photo. Then, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on “Confirm your vote”. You will then be taken to a new page where you will notice the name “Kevin McCarthy” and you must click on the word “Vote”. Once again, I thank you folks for all the help.”

    Vote, vote, vote! Thanks in advance.

  39. mattie says:

    Probably the only reason there are only 95 reviews on Amazon.com is because most of the people bought it for the pictures, they can’t really read.

  40. mattie says:

    It is so funny when she plays Scarlett O’Hara “Oh Rhett, I am just a lil’ ol’ house wife from Wasilla, why do those big bad politicians think that I had the power to help lose all those races on November 2nd?”. What a phony.

  41. Lacy Lady says:

    Love the picture, but where’s the broom??????

    • leenie17 says:

      A mere broom for Her Majesty? Are you kidding?

      This witch likes to ride in style…big honkin’ SUV with all the trimmings…and plenty of bendy straws for her cans of Red Bull for when she stops off at Taco Bell for her Crunch Wrap Supremes!

  42. DF says:

    I’ve been watching Amazon. Only 95 reviews — this has stayed flat for several days — and almost half are 1 star.

    It’s time to evalulate Costco’s stash again! I was infuriated when I found them stacked at the front door on the day the book was released. I’ve never seen that done with any book at Costco, ever ever!

    • BeeJay says:

      Costco was probably worried they’ve got a dog (no offense to real canines!) on their hands and wanted to move it as best they could!

    • Millie says:

      Costco – on Dimond – my place of shopping for the past years. But, you won’t catch me even near the place when sister Sarah is signing her new book that is doing horribly in the ratings. Couldn’t happen to a more evil gal!

  43. silverball says:

    …how’s your liver doing???….i know this has been tough to have to go through this, but we do appreciate your fortitude in doing it so we don’t have too…good luck with the final two chapters….and i must say, not only have i not had to spend any $$$ on the reading of this “classic” piece of work…i do believe that your interpretation is exactly what mine would have been anyway….but for me, with much less alcohol….thanx again…..

    • silverball says:

      i forgot to mention…..”But don’t put the glass over it or the darts will bounce.”….this is PURE genius….

  44. thatcrowwoman says:

    “…I think we’ll be able to wrap that sucker up this weekend. Won’t that feel good?”

    *slightly chagrined* OK, did anyone else flash on this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4H4lJOoSs8
    “hurts so good, come on baby make it hurt so good…”

    …or am I completely warped and twisted this morning? 🙂

    We can always count on flyinureye and AKM to make the season brighter!

  45. sam hall says:

    Mudflats has always showed what real true factual journalism is about…and love as many do
    that your pieces also have a great sense of humor.

  46. dahlia97 says:

    The title, picture and caption are perfect. I’m mesmerized by her fingernails–very witchy! And I think it would make a great poster for darts too. Now, where to put it?….the attic? no, it would keep me from sleeping at night and I’m already having trouble doing that….the basement? no, it’s a scary enough place as it is….the garage? no, I have too much respect for my car. I guess I will just enjoy seeing it right here….thanks for that 🙂

  47. GoI3ig says:

    I’ll get you my pretty…..and your little Todd too….

  48. jimzmum says:

    We are behind you 100%, AKM! Ready with adult libations and there-there’s as you cross the finish line/throw that plagiarised pile of whine at the wall one last time.

    Thank you Fly for the wonderful art! Made my day. We are off to show the younger daughter and her husband how to rebuild a stairway. Theirs fell down yesterday. Oh, the joys of gut-rehabbing a wonderful old house!

    • thatcrowwoman says:

      “…/throw that plagiarised pile of whine at the wall one last time.”

      great visuals, there, jimzmum. Vicarious thrill gives this librarian a shiver…just a bit naughty… Good thing I’m not on Santa’s nice or naughty lists, eh?

    • tinydancer says:

      Hope no one was injured in the collapse of the stairs.

      • jimzmum says:

        They are fine. Weren’t using those stairs because of how awful they were. Thank goodness! Stringers and temp treads are on, and the reno continues apace! Thank you for asking!