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March 28, 2024

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Friday, January 28, 2022

Terror on the High Seas! Beware, Coastal Alaska!

Brace yourselves Ketchikan, Skagway, Juneau, and Seward. If you think hard and make your eyes go all blurry, you can just imagine two lanterns hanging in the church steeple warning you of the coming invasion. That’s right, a horseman is galloping by to remind you of the signal – one if by land, two if by sea.  Well, it seems the dark forces have chosen the sea route, and they are coming.

Intelligence tells us that they will enter Alaskan waters at the end of August making land in Ketchikan on the 28th, Juneau on the 30th, Skagway on the 31st and Seward on September 2nd. This should give you plenty of time to stock up on non-perishable food, toilet paper and basic necessities, shutter your windows with plywood, and shove that big heavy bureau in front of the door.

Would that it were only the British that were coming. But it’s so much worse. Coastal Alaska is about to be besieged by…

The Tea Party at Sea – a cruise boat filled with teabaggin’ scallywags and miscreants including the founders of the uber-right wing propaganda site WorldNet Daily.

The adventure-seeking fiscally conservative wingnut can spend $699 per person to book a basic cabin at the early bird rate, but for those who are a little less concerned with pinching a penny, the Royal Suite will relieve you of a cool $4678 per person, double occupancy.

Those traveling north to the homeland of likeminded Tea Partiers such as Sarah Palin, Joe Miller, Sean Parnell, Scheaffer Cox, and oh so many more, receive the following call:

ENLIST NOW to be on board with the most freedom-embracing and liberty-loving navy at sea: the WND Navy and the Tea Party at Sea!

Your week will be filled with shoulder to shoulder time during our teaching sessions with Joseph Farah, Jerome Corsi, David Kupelian, Aaron Klein, and Floyd Brown while sailing the pristine and majestic Alaska coastline.  During our week together you will hear inspiring and challenging messages and critiques by our esteemed panelists, participate in vigorous question and answer periods, and engage the issues  of the day during our dining and conference times.  In between our times of sharpening and edifying you will relax and marvel at the magnificence of God’s creation, while we sail aboard the five-star Celebrity Millennium.  All of this, and at an incredibly low starting price.

Just imagine yourself rubbing shoulders, and ruminating about how the elite are the problem while enjoying the ship’s facilities:

Ship Highlights
– AquaSpa, featuring a hydropool, message (sic) rooms, sauna, and body treatments
– The Olympic, a specialty restaurant with demonstration kitchen
– Cova Cafe di Milano and Tearoom
– Outdoor jogging track
– Aquadome featuring 4 swimming pools and six whirlpools
– Sports Deck with full sized basketball court, compact football field, golf simulator and volleyball court
– Special lounge just for teens

Ah, does anything beat a sauna and a soothing Swedish “message” after a tough day of anger and outrage at sea?  Spelling classes are clearly not part of the “teaching sessions,” more’s the pity.  Photographic evidence from Tea Party rallies around the nation would seem to suggest that’s one of the more critical pieces of learning that needs to happen. Maybe next time.

And while the description of the cruise touts the “pristine” Alaskan waters, we wonder if this very cruise by its nature might just violate the Clean Water Act.

 

Your Crew:

Joseph Farah, the founder and CEO of WorldNet Daily. I swear, I did NOT Photoshop that on there. It’s really his.

Alan Keyes – ran for president in 1992, 1996, 2000 and 2008 and Senate in 1988, 1992 and 2004. Lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, aaannnnd……lost.  He also went to Harvard, which somehow did not disqualify him from the cruise.

That’s no William Shatner impersonator, that’s Jerome Corsi, author of the perennial favorite “Unfit for Command – Swiftboat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry,” and “The Obama Nation.” I don’t know about you, but the Shatner impersonator would be far more appealing, especially if he read Palin’s tweets. Just saying.

And here’s David (Dr. Evil) Kupelian, culture warrior and author of “How Evil Works.”  His first book was, “The Marketing of Evil: How Radicals, Elitists, and Pseudo-Experts Sell Us Corruption Disguised as Freedom.”

Aaron Klein is WorldNet Daily’s “Jerusalem Bureau Chief” and “is known for his regular interviews with Mideast leaders and terrorists.  He has interviewed jihadist leaders from every major Palestinian terrorist organization.” Can’t wait to pal around with him on the Lido Deck!

What would the Liberty Boat be without Floyd Brown, founder of Citizens United? Back in the day, he was the brains behind the Willie Horton ad, and he’s now the editor of the website ExposeObama.com.

Your cruise brochure says of the self-described Christian supremacist who stands in staunch opposition to “casual faith”, “You’ve probably never met anyone like Molotov Mitchell. (born in 1979)” I don’t know about you, but I’m OK with that. Mr. Mitchell’s credits include making commercials and music videos with a political bent, and running from knife-wielding voodoo priests.

But, wait! They’ve saved the best for last. That million dollar smile belongs to D.J. Dulce, who is “a Christian who’s been in entertainment since she was a little girl, works behind the scenes on “For the Record.”  She also practices an Israeli martial art, and is a member of Mensa.  I guess she’s a member of the non-elite part.

Coastal Alaskan Mudflatters (but only those with a steely spine) are encouraged to lurk in the bushes and report to Mudflats Central with observations and pictures as the invaders disembark.  For the rest of you, bar the door and stay inside.

Comments

comments

Comments
114 Responses to “Terror on the High Seas! Beware, Coastal Alaska!”
  1. Cammie says:

    you liberal elitists! how dare you make fun of a grassroots cruise…

  2. cmoore says:

    Oh, wow. Just, wow. Is there any way that someone could get on an iceberg and steer it into the ship’s path? Oh, well…I was just hoping…

  3. open mind says:

    Protect yourself Alaskans! This ship is registered in Malta … no telling how many terrorists and/or Muslims may be onboard. Require every passenger disembarking to show their birth certificate (long form). I’m sure all the Teapartiers carry them religiously. Males should also prove that they have been circumsized, and females prove that they have not. Surely this group of fanatics would have no objection to proving that they are real Americans.
    And for any who do slip through, simply post a sign in your business that you do not serve right wing lunatics. Most of them, like Rand Paul in KY, believe that businesses should have the right to decide who they serve. If you do let them in, post signs stating that restrooms are for Alaskans only with an arrow pointing out the back door for non-residents. Jack up the prices. If they complain (and they will) tell them that you are just emulating how big business operates. Their simple little minds will probably translate to meaning that you’re one of them and gladly pay whatever you want.

  4. flex gunship palin says:

    I see a movie deal in the makeing .O dam the all ready made ship of fools .

  5. Joe Huber says:

    Not to worry, Alaska. When they get to Juneau, they’ll be met by a band of patriots who will truss up the tea bags and dump them in the harbor. A couple of tides later, they’ll be gone for good.

  6. mag the mick says:

    I wish that, like Facebook, there were little “like” buttons at the bottom of each letter that we could click on. I be likin’ every single post on here!

  7. Beezer says:

    Ah- all you Flatters just made my morn’- been heavin’ and lying low for several of days with some kind of creepin’ crud. Finally feel like I’m back among the livin’ and this thread with AKM’s clever prose and all your High Seas comments have helped this wench get back her sea legs! Happy Earth Day and Happy Easter to all!

  8. BeeJay says:

    I figured out the perfect answer: norovirus, lots of it! They get sick just after leaving Seattle, and by the time they’re just going past the Queen Charlotte Islands they’re suffering from more than seasickness…

  9. Bearhug says:

    Maybe hire some Somali Pirates to hold them for ransom. Oh…wait…Well, they could always use them for food.

    Let us lower 48er’s know how it works out.

  10. dowl says:

    High Larious! ‘Flatters crack me up. Thanks, y’all.

  11. michigander says:

    I can’t stop laughing after reading about this floating cult.

    AKM’s post got me going and you guys’ comments….well, I confess I almost peed my pants o:

    • leenie17 says:

      We may not be rich. We may not be famous.

      But we got us some serious skills when it comes to snark!

  12. Xenon says:

    Oh goody! I’ve waiting for an excuse to take my u-boat out of storage! “Fire torpedo No. 1!”

    • benlomond2 says:

      oh c’mon now…it’s gonna be more like Mchale’s Navy !!! Shannyn at the helm, with the Juneau Mudpups as the crew on the PT boat !!! chortle… maybe Slip will gueststar as Mr. Parker ????!!

      • slipstream says:

        Second in command? slipstream is never second in command! It’s either CO or the brig for me! Harrrrr.

  13. fishingmamma says:

    Send for the Somali Pirates!

  14. ks sunflower says:

    I may have missed it if someone else posted this, but here goes: Bye-bye Sarah, bye-bye.

    Fox News dumps Sarah – according to this article insofar as her “campaign” may go (it’s gone, apparently).

    http://www.politicususa.com/en/fox-news-palin-trump

  15. Kilia says:

    Parnell will like this when they get to Juneau. 😉

  16. SouthPaw says:

    Maybe a ‘Rogue’ wave will wash them all overboard:)!

    • mike from iowa says:

      Please show some concern and consideration for the Ocean and try not to wish for so much toxic waste at one time. Ain’t there precedent set for a cruise ship to be forced off course and the people wind up on a deserted island and have to learn to get along or perish? I’m thinking Gulliver’s Island or Gilligan’s Travels. At least they’ll have a skipper and a least one rich person. I’m not sure about the rest of the cast. I suppose Quitty could be a female Gilligan.

  17. Ice Gal says:

    That is one ship that needs sinking!

  18. alaskaliberal says:

    Lovely Liberal Juneau is in for SUCH a treat this summer! I can’t wait to take my daughter and friends to have a bit of a Pro-choice/Planned Parenthood rally on 30 August on the downtown docks! 🙂

  19. seattlefan says:

    So is this boatload of baggers making a pilgrimage to Alaska to have Palin as a surprise host? Inquiring minds want to know.

    • alaskaliberal says:

      seattlefan: If $arah were to show, it would have to be later in the trip….she was never in Juneau when she was Governor, let alone AFTER!!

    • boodog says:

      seattlefan, they could be docking in Seattle- got your pepper spray handy? 🙂

      • seattlefan says:

        haha! You won’t catch me anywhere near the piers that day. I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that so many tea baggers will be concentrated in the downtown area the night before the cruise and the morning of. I hope some “librul” cooties rub off on them while they are here. 😀

  20. slipstream says:

    Joseph Hazelwood, where are you?

    • leenie17 says:

      Have you read the special guest list above? Would you want THAT kind of toxic waste mucking up your shores for 20 years???

  21. mag the mick says:

    I would suggest they be met by a row of mooners at each port. Hoowever, they’re likely to still be in the buffet lines as they approach the docks (who wants to look at scenery when there’s so much good food being served?) so it’s probably a futile gesture.

  22. GoI3ig says:

    It’s really quite appropriate. Cruise ships are basically staffed by indentured servants. The ships are registered in foreign countries so the cruise lines can avoid those pesky labor laws, and pay the help a few bucks a day.

    This sort of thinking is right in line with the tea bag philosophy.

    I Juneau one of the their ports of calls? That town is pretty progressive for this lot.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      We are on the list.
      We are pretty progressive for this lot.
      We shall see how this goes.
      🙂
      ______________________________
      “ships are registered in foreign countries so the cruise lines can avoid those pesky labor laws, and pay the help a few bucks a day.” AND avoid certain corporate taxes…

    • InJuneau says:

      Esp. the downtown part where they have to dock!

      And it will be interesting to see how they all deal with the crew…they’re awfully “foreign”!

  23. JeninAK says:

    As I was reading this, it sounded so much like the Church of Scientology Flagship….wonder if the tea party’s “great minds” are using that theme as a basis for their unusual cruise. Beware……
    http://www.freewinds.org/

    • Kilia says:

      As “Anonymous” would say…use a PROXY condom to view any Scilon websites.

  24. Claire says:

    will be watching in Juneau!

  25. Winski says:

    Holy Moly !!!

    They left out a couple of things that will be handed out by the WND loon-brigade – REAL PEE BAGS so if you get sick while walking the endless halls of an infested cruise ship, you don’t end up spraying the walls with excrement or other foul stuff as you hurl in pain.. AND, don’t forget the always required Holy Trojans…. Required for ALL PEE BAG group gropes and more-than-four-at-a-time romps cause you never know what might be going around OR what Corsi brought on board..

    This is truly a hilarious picture you painted Mud and it could NOT be more appropriate a place for these clowns to be the guest stars on “Deadliest Catch” or “Fantasy Island”…. De plane..De Plane boss…. (really only a coast guard scout plane to make sure the WND boat is more than a rusting old cargo ship out of Somalia…).

    If you and Shanny and others don’t have a field day with this troop of crazies that have landed in your lap as a gift..it can’t be done…. I sure hope Shanny is felling better.. Her little excursion did NOT sound like a pleasant ordeal…

  26. Zyxomma says:

    Celebrity Millennium? Teaching sessions? Message rooms? Sounds like they’re planning on cruisin’ into the Rapture.

    Happy Earth Day, Mother Earth and all her children (yes, even –shudder– them).

  27. KittenStCyr says:

    Who’s up for a blockade of Seward harbor?

  28. Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

    August 30 in Juneau? Sept 2nd in Seward! I’m laughing my butt off. Their chances of getting totally crappy weather are very high. They are coming up the Inland Passage and crossing the Gulf at the wrong time of the season. I hope they barf all the way across the Gulf of Alaska, any of ’em, all of ’em! For us, it’s a beautiful place no matter the weather but I’m sure they’ve been looking at those misleading brochures with sunny skies and whales sounding on cue. Heh heh.

    • Firecracker says:

      I will be sure to do the piss pouring rain dance on August 29th!! Definitely the start of the raining season so I probably won’t have to dance very hard.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      ssshhhh.
      that was the other gag we weren’t gonna talk about
      and just let em deal with on their own…
      dang.
      now- they’ll bring barf bags and raincoats…
      dang.
      I was so liking thinking about eau de retch round the conference rooms and a “gulf tan” (white and green face with bulging eyes and chapped lips ) for all…

    • bubbles says:

      couldn’t happen to a better bunch. LOL.

  29. mo says:

    Y’know, they’re really unattractive people. I know “looks” isn’t exactly a rational debating point, but my mental face scanner reads these faces as … BEWARE. Shields would be up were I to meet them in person, in other words.

    If smug self-righteousness really did ooze from our pores, these folks would have severe acne.

    Or maybe it’s the underlying predatory outlook that manifests itself in the face.

    • mike from iowa says:

      Mo-let’s say for the record that all teabaggers are unatractive people,but,the reverse isn’t true. Now I feel better.

    • bubbles says:

      i believe you are right. they do seem alike no matter race or ethnicity. there seems to be a coldness, a sort of reptilian quality that you see if you have ever looked into the eyes of a murderer.
      we now know that there is a difference in brain structure.

      http://www.rawstory.com/rawreplay/2011/04/study-brain-structures-differ-in-liberals-conservatives/

      http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/09/20/liberal-conservative-brain-differences/
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      here is where i need help in understanding what this means.
      i am worried that the difference means the ‘liberal brain’ make us unfit for survival.
      if evolution means that only the ‘fit’ survive into the future can the humane survive in humanity?
      help me figure this out please. i am worried.

      • mo says:

        bubbles, I wouldn’t read too much into studies like this.

        Just how do you see the “liberal brain” making us unfit for survival, when all the major advances in human welfare are the result of more flexible thinking, supposedly a liberal characteristic? By way of counterpoint, recall all the massacres and atrocities committed by those who were absolutely certain that what they thought was the only way to think.

        http://psychcentral.com/news/2007/09/10/brains-of-liberals-conservatives-may-work-differently/1691.html

        • ks sunflower says:

          Exactly! They will be so busy attacking each other soon, we should be able to relax a bit and prepare to make more transformative, progressive history in 2012.

      • leenie17 says:

        Not to worry, dear Bubbles. We’ll be fine!

        The way I look at it, conservatives are tuned to react more by the ‘fight or flight’ response, which allows them to be more easily manipulated by fear. Liberals find creative solutions to problems and work together, making them much more effective in difficult circumstances. Think about the differences between ‘proactive’ people and ‘reactive’ people.

        The ‘rugged individual’ tough guy personality may have been much more successful many years ago when the world was a place of many unexplored frontiers, and competition was a matter of survival. However, we are now a global community in every sense, and cooperation is a necessity. Seems to me that liberals would be more apt to survive in the future since they can work together to solve problems instead of fighting amongst each other to reach the top of the heap. Taking care of each other and cooperating insures the survival of the greatest number instead of just a few ruthless individuals…and makes life more pleasant for everyone involved.

        See? It’s all good! 🙂

        • bubbles says:

          thanks Mo and Leenie. i begin to understand.

          “Taking care of each other and cooperating insures the survival of the greatest number instead of just a few ruthless individuals…”
          this is what was worrisome. because i cannot survive without others to help me. some people can grow and hunt food. i don’t know how.
          some people can heal and doctor themselves. i don’t know how.
          some people can weave and make clothes. not me.
          i live well and am happy because others know skills that benefit me and mine.
          i am happy to share all that i have though and pay it forward. so maybe i am not a waste of space after all and it is possible that my descendants will be able to do all the things i don’t know how to do. they will contribute to the well being of the earth and all its peoples. that’s my prayer.

          • mike from iowa says:

            We libs ain’t perxactly gonna be out of demand too soon. Guess how many of the rethugs and teabaggers were enrolled in conservative-arts colleges? I’ll start by guessing not many. They get educated the same way as the rest,for the most part,their evolutionarily crippled brains don’t process info to its fullest. Example-rethug see food,rethug eat food. Didn’t bother to wash it,check it for foreign materials,food [oisoning,country of origin,whether it was produced in an ecologically sustainable way or even if some fat cat rwnj korporation owned all rights to it. Libs are smarter than that.

          • mag the mick says:

            Bubbles, from what i remember from my cultural anthro classes, “survuval of the fittest” really wasn’t Darwin’s idea; it came out of “social Darwinism” in the late 19th century (the age of the robber barons). As we humans have evolved, we’ve always done better when we’ve learned to hunt and gather cooperatively, then to cultivate crops and live in settlements. Civilization has always depended on people living and working together. Even out here in Arizona, the tendency was always towards civilization. Lone gunment didn’t live very long. First thing Tombstone did after it became a town was to hire a marshall, and the first thing Marshall Earp did was impose a law saying all armed men had to turn in their guns as soon as they came to town. Thinking archaeologically, societies always do better when people are settled and fed. And that takes cooperation, communication, and compassion. We have it sewn up!

      • mike from iowa says:

        On the other end of the eccological spectrum.all predatory animals-man included. have forward facing eyes and all prey species have eyes on the sides of their heads-to see in 300 to 360 degrees to watch for predators. Prey species spend a large part of their time in herds so some can eat and rest while others are on guard-division of labor in communities. Predators often hunt alone -lone wolf-or in packs,as demonstrated by palin and co. so if one predator fails the others will pick her up,dust her off,reload the weapon and offer words of encouragement when she blows several more wide open shots before her prey dies from sheer boredom. This has nothing to do with what was written eloquently above. But I digress.

        • mag the mick says:

          Mike, do you reckon we could’ve been twins seperated at birth? Your sense of humor is suspiciously familiar!

  30. And now a little Monty Python. Anyone remember “The Crimson Permanent Assurance” short from
    “The Meaning of Life”

    Part 1 — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecFBcpY9NHI&feature=fvwrel

    Part 2 — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNlYBNTCBG8&feature=fvwrel

  31. Baker's Dozen says:

    🙂 Voyage of the Darned 😉

    With passengers as white as the ones they’ll get, the ship will look like an ice berg and have such a high albedo that climate change will be reversed and Alaska will enter a new Ice Age.

  32. spiritwheel says:

    One can only hope for an iceberg.

  33. leenie17 says:

    As much as I adored my four cruises to Alaska, I would rather have my fingernails torn out with pliers than spend one nanosecond on that ship.

    My sympathies to the crew because you KNOW that those passengers are going to be complaining about EVERYTHING!

    (Wonder if they’re going to alter the costumes on the dancers in the shows for that trip…they’re a bit revealing and risque for that crowd! Maybe add a few turtlenecks under those skimpy outfits!)

    • OtterQueen says:

      Yeah, but I’m sure they’re all really great tippers.

      No, really.

      • Kat says:

        Yah schuuure, good tippers! Just like Sawah. =)

      • leenie17 says:

        Sorry OtterQueen but I think you made a spelling error. You missed the ‘L’ in tipplers.

        I’m SURE you didn’t mean tipper ‘cos they don’t believe in sharing their money with anybody…even widdahs and poor li’l orffuns.

  34. BeeJay says:

    Of course, they actually meant “Message Room!” You know, signal lamps at night and semaphore signals by day. None of that eleetist electronic stuff for them. Of course, it should be $1 a character, so even a Tweet would be $140! After all, you have to hire Morse code specialists to handle such ‘messages’… (as written by one of those specialists who does know the code… 🙂 )

    Can we hire a cheap submarine anywhere? One that has torpedoes? Better yet, we recreate David Bushnell’s “Turtle” submarine of 1776 and attack at the first opportunity. How can they can complain about the use of a Revolutionary War submarine, one that had the endorsement of the Founding Fathers?

  35. Dagian says:

    Man the torpedoes!

  36. merrycricket says:

    Pray that ship doesn’t run aground, there be some mighty toxic waste in her hold. Argh.

  37. g says:

    God, it’s the Voyage of the Damned! Maybe they should all go Galt.

  38. nitejazz says:

    At least Sitka will not be sullied according to the listed plan. We must be too progressive, although its hard to know. There are at least 14 ragged, misguided members of the Teaparty here if the last rally on faux tax day was any indication.

  39. Laurie says:

    Can you imagine being a guest on that ship and finding out a good number of your fellow passengers are TeaBaggers? I would want my money back plus damages.

    • bubbles says:

      LoL. they’d have to tie me down and then tie me up.

      • ks sunflower says:

        Those tea partiers would learn once and for all that our bubbles has sizzle and sass and can burn off their . . . tushes if they tried to spout off their nonsense. Go get ’em girl.

      • Too much hatred…and on top of it, to have to PAY to be surrounded by all of those people…you are better than I …! You are made of sterner stuff…!

  40. fromthediagonal says:

    AKM… one if by land, two if by sea, but where is the signal for the “spew alert”?
    Good thing I had just swallowed my slurp of tea (no pun intended), or there would have been a cleanup on the laptop!
    Congratulations, you did it again, and a Happy Earth Day to all!

  41. Lilybart says:

    Went to see the captain, strangest I could find
    Laid my proposition down, laid it on the line
    I won’t slave for beggar’s pay, likewise gold and jewels
    But I would slave to learn the way to sink your ship of fools….Grateful Dead
    ************************************************************************************
    We’re setting sail
    To the place on the map from which no one has ever returned
    Torn by the promise of the joker and the fool
    By the light of the crosses that burn
    Torn by the promise of the women and the lace
    And the gold and the cotton and pearls
    It’s the place where they keep all the darkness you meet
    You sail away from the light of the world

    Listen baby – you will pay tomorrow
    You’re gonna pay tomorrow-ow-ow
    You will pay tomorrow-ow-ow-ow-wow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow

    Save me, save me from tomor-orrow
    I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools, no no
    Oh-oh-oh, save me, save me from tomorrow
    I don’t want to sail with this ship of fools, no no
    I want to run and hide
    Right now – ri-ight now-ow yeah-eah-eah

    Avarice and greed are gonna drive you over the endless sea
    They will leave you-ou drifting in the shallows
    Drowning in the oceans of history-y-y-y
    Travellin’ the world, you’re in search of no good
    But I’m sure you’re philosophic like I knew you would
    Using all the good people for your gallant slaves
    As your little boat struggles through the the warning waves……World Party

  42. tigerwine says:

    Woo-Hoo! We need “boots on the Ground” on this cruise. He/she must come equipped with
    “Blind Allegiance” and “The Lies of Sarah Palin” and make sure to ostentatiously (sp?) read and
    comment on them all during the cruise!

    • mike from iowa says:

      Get Tina Fey to impersonate Quitty and stow her aboard. Since these folks didn’t notice it took ESPY about 5 days to become overly pregnant,they won’t notice Tina’s baby bump.

  43. Lilybart says:

    Have to say it, the Teabaggers are not going to make use of the ship’s jogging track!

    • Elsie says:

      I was thinking the same thing. But the restaurants/cafes/tearooms will be belly-deep in baggers… Ugh.

    • Sourdough Mullet says:

      No they sure won’t, unless they are planning to use it for Hoveround races!

  44. benlomond2 says:

    WHEW! Ya sent me scurring to double check my cruise dates!! I’ll be up about a week or so later to help clean up the mental mess they leave behind ! Chortle! Visions of Pirate Ben commandeering the ship and sailing off to Tortuga, swashbuckling TeaPartiers the whole way. AAARRRGGHHH!! Have at thee, you Scallywags !! 🙂

    • Alaska Pi says:

      Bring your rain gear- we may still be hosing the place down.

      We dropped the ball in not realizing Kristol slid into town on a ship and paid mightily with the awful VP-run thingy and descent of Palin Pilgrims on us which followed.
      We’re paying better attention now.
      Planning for an August deluge with high winds and rare lightning storm to keep em on the ship.
      And praying for the sanity of crew and other travellers aboard the ship…

    • Martha Unalaska Yard Sign says:

      For YOU we will ask for fair skies & warm weather in September. Hey, it happened last year when fawnskin & mr. fawnskin came to town same time of year. We blew the clouds away & asked the rain to come another day.

      • Alaska Pi says:

        And IF we’re still having to hose the place off , we’ll provide you and Mrs lomond2 with Southeast style limo service (we’ll even vacuum out all the dog hair and put the back seats up!), Juneau tennies (rainboots), and squire you around to many wonderful sights and activities.

        • InJuneau says:

          That we will! And we’ll need the cleansing presence of a few Mudpups after that week!

        • benlomond2 says:

          Many Thanks ! Wife says Cruising with the locals better than doing herd mentality tours!. no worries about dog hair or duct taped seats,; we have pets,,, and have used duct tape myself to keep stuffing in the car/truck seats ! ( I’m such a cheap bas@@@d! 🙂 ) will pack rain gear just in case the wash down is going on… Mother Nature has such a nice way of cleaning up messes on her own ! smiling like a Cheshire cat- we did a -back in the jungle- day trip in Panama, to see native village- on the way back BIG thunderstorm , us in dugout canoe. wife just put poncho over head saying “I’ll put it on when it lets up a bit”.. never did!! , Guides were bailing canoe as fast as they could to keep us afloat, wife and I laughing the whole time as she just couldn’t be any wetter !!! ( and me as dry as the Sahara desert !) Just so long as it doesn’t snow!!!!
          Cars? Vehicles??? I though you just put wheels on the dogsleds in the summer months !?!?! 🙂

      • fawnskin mudpuppy says:

        a fine time that was. could you hold on to that weather for my next visit. please. pretty please.

        also and too there…another thought.
        don’t you just feel for all those unsuspecting passengers who are not teapartiers?
        someone should give them a warning.

  45. mike from iowa says:

    Putting plywood on windows and the heavy bureau in front of the door is all to the good,but, what about the women and chillen? No mention of them?

    • bubbles says:

      hide the wimmins and bairns. bury the silver. buy an attack dog and flee to the mountains.
      also. too. get tickets for Bubbles and Irishgirl on the cruise. we promise to make the Lido Deck a horrible place to be. by the time we get to Alaska the whole ship will be under quarantine. LOL.

      • mike from iowa says:

        Hi Bubbles. get Mag the Mick to go and she can show you and Irishgirl how to do the “Lido Shuffle” and you can dance the night away(and of course since the teabag sheeps be on board,yous can fleece ’em).

        • mag the mick says:

          I am on it! The sound of that relentless dancing beat and the shuffling of dancing feet above their heads will drive the Baggers crazy. Oh wait…they already are.

      • Haha: Be sure to take pictures…!

      • mike from iowa says:

        Bubbles-I can’t keep you and Irishgirl straight. One of you has an infectious sense of humor and the other has a contagious sense of humor. Teabaggers have no sense of anything except maybe entitlements for the wealthy.

  46. fishingmamma says:

    Quick!!!! Triple the price of a t-shirt!!! Sno-globes are now $12.00!!

    Smoked salmon in cute boxes is now $45.00 a pound!!!!!

    Also, when they get off the ship, tell them they are 3,000 ft above sea level, and that we do not take american money because it is only worth half the rate of alaskan money….

    Ships full of idiots!!!! Let’s make some money!!!

    • Alaska Pi says:

      oooo…
      you know almost all the gags.
      you forgot the one …
      oh
      will save it for the tea wasters…
      ssshhhhh

  47. ks sunflower says:

    What a hoot! You started my day with hearty laughs and lingering giggles. You are the best!