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Palin Suspends Quitting to Attend Movie Premiere of “The Undefeated”

Sarah Palin’s One Nation bus tour has screeched to a halt. After the media reported it had been canceled, her Facebook page explained her summer plans on June 22 in a note titled:

*Sigh* Reports of Tour Demise are Greatly Exaggerated

The coming weeks are tight because civic duty calls (like most everyone else, even former governors get called up for jury duty) and I look forward to doing my part just like every other Alaskan.

I didn’t put the *sigh* in there. Just to be clear. That was the actual title of the post. The beleaguered exhalation came from Palin herself. She then went on to say that the wheels on the bus would go round and round “when the time comes.”

Apparently, in just a few short days, the “coming weeks” have become less “tight.” Sarah Palin and her husband, the ex-half-First Dude, have decided to suspend their suspension of the family vacation/One Nation bus tour, and the impending responsibility of jury duty to go to the movies. It’s actually a big fancy movie premiere! In Iowa.

~Iowa, home of corn, and the Iowa Caucuses

The conservative filmmaker Stephen Bannon’s Palin puffumentary, titled “The Undefeated” will be making its official premiere screening this coming Tuesday. When the title is in itself  a misnomer, you know what you’re in for. But if you want the grizzly (mama) details, my review is HERE, because I got to see an advanced screening in Minneapolis last week. That’s right, I’ve already enjoyed all the oil-drippin’, zebra-rippin’, bridge-collapsin’, nuclear fallout-rainin’ imagery on the big screen. And my brain has almost stopped bleeding.

Not everyone feels this way, apparently. I was particularly amused by a bit of spam I found in the comments for that review. I’m sure it was copied and pasted on websites far and wide. We know that Palin wrote her own letters to the editor praising herself, so perhaps it was she herself who shared these thoughts:

“The Undefeated” is an interesting, endearing, and educational documentary that the entire family can enjoy together; and, of course, gorgeous, gracious, gifted Gov. Sarah Palin possesses more screen presence, natural beauty, charisma, and seductive allure than any film actress in the history of motion pictures. Expect “The Undefeated” to do very well at the box-office this summer.

Yes, the 9-year olds are going to love the whole 45 minute section on oil taxes, and the Alaska Gasline Inducement Act.  Or perhaps they’ll just be mesmerized by her “seductive allure.”

The version I saw, is apparently not the “final cut.” I’m desperately hoping they didn’t cut out my favorite line.

Palin: “There are three words that define Alaska’s economic future – The Natural Gas Pipeline.”

Comedy gold.

But don’t worry. You won’t have to fly to Iowa to buy a ticket to the film that one Palinbot on Twitter speculates will be “bigger than Harry Potter.” Well, not if you’re lucky enough to live in one of the cities that will be showing this epic motion picture when it opens to the public on July 15th. Get ready Dallas, Denver, Oklahoma City, Orlando, Atlanta, Orange County, Phoenix, Houston, Indianapolis, and Kansas City – buckle your seat belts because here she comes.

Hey. Stephen Bannon isn’t the only one who can do gratuitous visual effects. (I bow deeply and bask in your applause)

Comments

comments

Comments
164 Responses to “Palin Suspends Quitting to Attend Movie Premiere of “The Undefeated””
  1. Bearhug says:

    This reminds me of the old blood and guts movie hype in the ’60s where the AM radio DJs would announce that the theater would have medical personnel standing bye.

    Maybe the same is true here. Standing bye with Barf Bags and Dramamine…SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! BE THERE!!

    She’s got all of the sex appeal of dried turnip. What cracks me up is the boob size variation from one appearance to the next. Reminds me of Mel Brook’s “Men in Tights”, where Prince John had a large mole on his face that was in a different place in each scene.

  2. Terry in Maryland says:

    I suspect if they had decided to show the film in Anchorage, the showing would have had more talking back to the screen than Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  3. Clemtown says:

    Bring her to Deeeetroit!
    We’ll give her a motor-rock-city welcome!
    Or send her to see the other gun-rock idiot…., the one that fled Michigan for Texas.
    Yeah……, that idiot!

  4. Wow says:

    What we need to remember in all of this is…it’s not the vote that counts, it’s who counts the votes, or pays for the count…and with all this press and fall-de-ra, she could point to it and rationalize her ascendancy…she obviously has some big pockets and influencial people supporting her on the way up…she had the potential to do temendous good, but ended up in an ego trip, choose the dark side and offers nothing but hatred , delusion, and misinformation. It’s more sad and pathetic, and especially for those that believe/d her words, only to find them false and empty with no solutions..

  5. Trig-home-alone says:

    I’m sorry, I’m loosing track of what Palin is doing and quitting. Sarah quit her family vacation, quit her Sudan trip, quit her Thatcher trip, quit her fake POTUS run and quit being a mother. Is there anything Sarah is not canceling?

  6. Marilyn says:

    hmmmmmm. No showings in Alaska???? Good. We are plenty sick of hearing about her, hearing from her, hearing from her kid(s), and certainly tired of trying to ‘refudiate’ her lies, distortions, and ‘incorrect factoids’…..

    • Simple MInd says:

      Palin is looking for (1) adoration; (2) money and (3) news coverage, probably in that order. Alaska gives her none of those. What “lamestream” media is going to cover a showing of her bioflic in Wasilla?

  7. beth says:

    But, seriously, what is she going to be wearing? It’s not every day a major ego-tripper has a million-dollar epic all about them, Them, THEM, premiere!

    Surely she’s carefully coordinating the outfit she’ll be wearing so it reinforces the take-away impression she wants viewers to have of her… Think she’ll go with the ‘folksy-homey’: “I’m just like you and will continue to fight for you!” image, or the ‘no-nonsense’: “I’ll keep pushing to restore common sense and the Constitution to government!” image? Which, do you think, will bring in the most money for her?

    And what children/family members will she have with her to help accessorize her take-away image at Tuesday’s showing? beth.

    • Well, considering some of her other fashion faux pas, I wouldn’t hold my breath for something fancy or even appropriate. Look how she showed up for the Belmont race. Foolish woman.

  8. pccel says:

    The promoters of The Undefeated are actually looking for “hostesses” in all the cities in which the “movie” will premier; the requirements are that a prospective hostess should be able to get their friends and relatives to attend as well as be knowledgeable about Palin and all she is doing for America. So far, Oklahoma City has their quota of hostesses, but the other cities are still looking in case any one out there is interested…gag.

  9. Even if The Undefeated was being shown anywhere near me and someone gave me a free ticket, a bucket of popcorn and a big package of M & M’s, I wouldn’t go. For one thing, the timing of the release is stupid – who in their right mind would decide to release a movie on the same day as the last Harry Potter movie? Well, don’t answer that, we know who the stupid person is that decided that one.

    Personally, I’ll be seeing Harry Potter that day – can’t wait for it. And I won’t have any regrets over not seeing whatshername’s fiasco and waste of film.

    • johnny says:

      But, what about Junior Mints? That might sway me. the sugar rush might dull the pain of the movie. Actually I think the only people that can sit through a movie like that are people who really have not followed her career enough to spot the omissions and lies. That’s what I think the value of Blind Ambition, the Lies of Sarah Palin, and the new McGinnis book will be……..literally transcripts of the truth about her and her background. Instead of having to root through google to combat her lies during the upcoming campaign, it will be easy to refer people to page such and such of those books. But I don’t think she’ll run anyway, just get the most in donations as she can for the next couple of months.

    • MonaLisa (inCT) says:

      The far right has issues with Harry Potter. Glorifies Satan, don’cha know….

  10. beth says:

    Oh, how it gladdens my heart to see ‘pups dilligently hunting around their cities to find out the exact location of the theaters where this wondermous puffumentary will be showing — their willingness to share that information with other ‘pups is a testament to the example of ‘taking one for the team’ set by our own AKM; how exciting to be part of a community that has members who’ll ‘go the extra mile’ for other members. Their complete unselfishness in posting theater locations will allow any ‘pup who wants to see the epic, the chance to do so…or avoid it like the plague! 😉

    So, now that we know *where* the showings will be, I think the MAJOR question to be answered is: What will She be wearing to the premiere? The possibilities…oh, the possibilities!

    Think it’ll be more on the ‘casual’ side: jeans and a t-shirt? Will she wear a knee-length skirt and a tailored jacket? Or a mini-skirt suit? Or go all ‘hollywood’ on everyone and wear a long dress?

    Will she be wearing her ‘signature’ tailored look in black and primary color, or will she go with the foldy-soft materials in non-nameable pastels she’s been sporting of late?

    Will she be wearing the big bumpit or the smaller one — will her hair be worn up or down (and will it have added extensions for the occassion)? Will she be ‘busting out all over’ (ala the Derby) or will she be presenting a ‘normal’ front? Her feet ~ in red naughty monkeys or in open-toe black stillettos? Corsage or no? Tiara on her or on Piper? Jewelry: Alaska-themed, religious-themed, patriotic-themed?

    What you think, ‘pups, any guesses as to what the Puff of the Hour will be wearing Tuesday at her and Bannon’s epically delusional “Undeflated” premiere? beth.

    (And think Bachmann has been sent a complimentary ticket? meow! b.)

  11. Motorhead says:

    I still wish a big group could attend the movie somewhere, a la “Rocky Horror Picture Show”, all in appropriate costumes of the Palin soap-opera characters … There was a hilarious comment on IM a while back when the movie was first announced, about how much fun it would be to do the Rocky Horror campy audience participation bit, and start a new cult experience.

  12. seattlefan says:

    “puffumentary” is excellent and my new favorite word. 🙂

    I just glanced through all the comments and the only thing of substance I can add is will they be prefacing this movie with Huck’s revisionist history cartoons? Now that would be perfection! (snark 😉 )

  13. beth says:

    “Bannon said he began the project after SarahPAC approched him. But he and Victory Film Group footed the $1 million bill and carried the risk, which gave them free-ranging creative license to tell the story the way they wished, he said.” ~~ Lacy Lady @25

    OK — so how does this work? If I understand PACs correctly (and with all the rules and regulations, the chance of that being the case is miniscule!) they are allowed to have individual donations made to them *up to* a certain amount, and each donation has to be accounted for/identified by donor. Is that right?

    So we know VFG and Bannon [out of ‘his own pocket’] paid for the whole puffumentary –gadzooks! what a perfect word, AKM!– and therefore had complete control over its contents, *but* since her PAC approached him in the first place, doesn’t his making it and airing it constitute a donation to said PAC?

    Does SarahPAC have to declare the $1m from VFG/Bannon as an ‘in-kind’ donation, or can they just ignore it [because of the Citizen’s United decision?]? Do any ‘pups know? beth.

    • sallyngarland,tx says:

      Hmmm, It does seem like a donation, doesn’t it? Palin truly pushes the limits. Actually, she probably opened herself for questions and scrutiny when she took the family vacation bs tour, also,too, I imagine there will be many questions about this, especially if she decides to run. If she were going to stay on the sidelines, that would be one thing but involving herself in the promotion/premiere takes it to another level. .

      I still think she is very much behind the documentary as well as many of the the pro Palin sites- in particular the Organize 4Palin and C4 p.

      • sallyngarland,tx says:

        I meant to add that whatever this turns out to be-a campaign of some sort for her personal or political brand-it will surely create chaos like everything she does.

  14. leenie17 says:

    Well, our favorite movie star has finally made the ‘big time’. She’s alluded to on one of my favorite websites, which I check out every night before I go to bed (makes for more pleasant dreams!).

    http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/06/26/funny-pictures-shes-right-i-can-see-russia/

  15. Elsie says:

    “The Undefeated” is due in Houston, TX on July 15. Since I live near this very large regional city and its hundreds of associated cities, towns and ‘burbs, I wondered which theater(s) would run it.

    I’ve found one AMC location—only one—on the other side of the region from me, at least 30 miles straight across downtown Houston.

    One.

    Anyway, the screening times available are for the same 6 daily showings from Friday thru Sunday, July 15 thru July 17. So either there are only plans to show this movie for three days, a total of 24 times for all of southeast Texas via one Houston movie house among THE MANY movie houses here, or, the theater isn’t willing to post additional times, at the present time, for more possible showings beyond the first three days now scheduled. Since this is meant to be the “premiere”, I guess anything is possible for later movie times, more days, more theaters, etc.

    I’m jus’ so excited I can’t hardly stand it. (Yawn.)

    • Simple MInd says:

      According to the local ABC affiliate, Palin’s movie will show at the AMC Gulf Pointe 30 theater at
      11801 So. Sam Houston Pkwy E Houston, TX 77089.

  16. aussiegal77 says:

    I’ll be going to watch HP7 on July 15. Palin can bugger off with her dumb movie. Hey – if she wants to go head to head with the HP franchise, she is more than welcome. She will be the furthest thing from my mind on that day =D

  17. TonyK says:

    If I want an education about $arah, or witness her “seductive allure,” I think I’ll just find an adult theater and watch “Nailin Palin.” BTW, what jury would ever seat HER!?!?!

  18. AKMuckraker says:

    Good comments on this thread.

    Two words – I love you guys.

  19. OMG says:

    Uh Oh, if God told Bachmann to run for president does that mean he/she closed to door on Palin?

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/06/26/ftn/main20074482.shtml

    • johnny says:

      That is pretty funny. I hope someone finally does ask….how come God told the both of you to run? Does that mean he has a great sense of humor?

  20. beaglemom says:

    Hopefully, Sarah’s “puffumentary” (I love that word) will not be playing in Traverse City although the two small multiplexes might be interested. The State Theatre, whose rehabilitation was brought about and facilitated by Michael Moore – think of the film he’d do about Mrs. Palin – is busy getting ready for the seventh TC Film Festival in late July.

    Last year Michael Moore told the school district that, if the district celebrated Martin Luther King’s birthday, he would spearhead renovation of an old school auditorium, used by the local symphony and by the Film Festival and other organizations. Well, the district did celebrate last February (day off) and Michael Moore and TC residents raised over $100,000 in less than two weeks. The renovations will be complete in time for the festival. Thank goodness. The old seats were very uncomfortable and the acoustics were less than admirable.

    Maybe Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert will have excerpts on their programs.

  21. justafarmer says:

    Palin: “There are three words that define Alaska’s economic future – The Natural Gas Pipeline.”

    Hmmm, not only can’t see speak in complete sentences, she can’t count either.

  22. Baker's Dozen says:

    For those that may not like the idea of seeing this epic, post modern “Blown with the Breeze” excessive fl@tus too near the family BBQ extrava-bomb-za, may I suggest some movies you can see with a Netflix subscription. Iowa, just being the same state as Ohio spelled in Palinese dontchaknow, will be especially interested in the second listing.

    Results for ‘the undefeated’

    The Undefeated
    (1969) G
    The Civil War is over, and Colonel John Henry Thomas (John Wayne) of the Union Army is bound for Mexico to trade horses; his opponent, Confederate Colonel James Langdon (Rock Hudson), is also heading… Read More

    Available onDVD

    The Undefeated: Ohio State Buckeyes
    (2004) NR
    Relive the glory of Ohio State’s 1968 undefeated march to the Rose Bowl and the national championship under coach Woody Hayes with this extensive program that offers an insider’s look at Ohio State… Read More

    Available onDVD

    Undefeated
    (2011) NR
    Cinéma vérité tackles football in this inspirational profile of an inner-city Memphis high school football team, whose downtrodden players combine with a dedicated volunteer coach in a valiant effort… Read More

    Undefeated
    (2003) NR
    Lex Vargas (John Leguizamo), a boxer from the mean streets of Jackson Heights, Queens, discovers that success with his fists (and the big financial payoffs) alienates his friends. Question is, can he… Read More

    Available onDVD

  23. Man_from_Unk says:

    Sarah Palin’s biggest problem is that she talks before she thinks. It looks like her daughter Bristol has that disability too. Baroness’ of gray matter.

  24. Lacy Lady says:

    I just read the article in the Des Moines Register on the Palin visit to Iowa.
    “Ticket sold out”
    “Tickets are no longer available for Tuesday’s Palin film premiere.
    The movie, “The undefeated”, will be shwn at Pella Opera House in Pella at 5 p.m.The theatre seats 300 people.
    Though tickets were NOT actually sold for showcasting, requests for the ticketswere submitted and granted within hours of the annoumncement, said Stephen Bannon, the writer, director and producer of the film.
    ” Bannon said he plans to take the film across the state.”

    After a very lengthy article—–it ends with Bannon saying—
    “Bannon said he began the project after SarahPAC approched him. But he and Victory Film Group footed the $1 million bill and carried the risk, which gave them free-ranging creative license to tell the story the way they wished, he said.”

    • sallyngarland,tx says:

      I don’t believe what Bannon says. I think Palin was very involved in this and probably indirectly contributed money.

      I can’t post the link but there’s a 2010 article in the New Yorker saying Bannon provides Andrew Breitbart’s office space for free. And isn’t it convenient he just happens to be in the movie and that Palin wrote a blurb for his recent book?

  25. Lacy Lady says:

    Palin is coming to Iowa on Tues. If Iowa gets more of these want-a-bees, we will have to get out our Bug Spray!

    I heard that 300 tickets were sold to view this movie in Pella, Iowa. A very old theater-Over 100 years old. Maybe someone will give her some Pella boloney, or Dutch letters.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/25/sarah-palin-movie-premiere-_n_884550.html

  26. rebekkah says:

    Huh, no showings in Alaska? The central location of the film’s contents? That doesn’t make sense. What do State of Alaska officials think of a film all about their state and not being shown in all it’s glory at it’s capitol? Maybe because it doesn’t truthfully depict things?

    Funny how her quitting was supposed to be for the better of Alaskans. They are the last people to get any gain from any of her actions. People in other states are cashing in on Alaska via SP.

    • leenie17 says:

      Don’t forget…all that grifting kept her out of Alaska for weeks and months at a time and even got her to buy a house in AZ.

      The further and longer she stays out of Alaska, the better it is for Alaska…right? 😉

  27. ks sunflower says:

    P.S. I went to the ticket page via the link given and even Binged it to make sure. Apparently, the tickets are free because there seems to be no option to actually buy any online. So, that’s how they are going to gauge support – by how many people take them up on free tickets? What a laugh.

    • AuntieRuth says:

      The tickets were all given away. I posted a link in the comments at IM earlier. Easy way to sell out, eh?

    • fishingmamma says:

      We should order hundreds of pairs of tickets. The movie would play to an empty house.

      • MonaLisa (inCT) says:

        But then they’d go by ‘ticket numbers’, not actual attendance numbers….

  28. ks sunflower says:

    Here’s what an article promoting the movie in a new rag here in our area says. The Monitor (aka the new rag) declares it ” . . . pro­vides news, opin­ion and a voice for read­ers com­mit­ted to lib­erty and freedom.” Not too difficult to see who is the targeted audience, right?

    However, just in case there is any doubt, the article’s praise for Palin leaves no doubt.

    excerpt from: http://kcmonitor.com/top-news/sarah-palin-film-the-undefeated-opens-july-15-3557

    WARNING: GAG ALERT

    “The Undefeated has generated almost as much buzz as its controversial subject, as politically-minded opinion-makers try to decide if Sarah Palin will announce her bid for the presidency based on how the film is received. The movie focuses on Palin’s rise from obscurity to national prominence and explores the obstacles that Governor Palin faced as she confronted the vested interests in her own state including the Republican establishment and big oil.

    “Scott Conroy of RealClearPolitics called the film a “sweeping epic;” Amy Siskind of the Huffington Post says, “I would encourage you to see The Undefeated…allow yourself to be curious;” Dan Riehl of Big Hollywood said, “I’ve not been able to get through (the film) once without checking back tears born of a mix of emotion- from sadness and anger, to frustration and deep concern;” and John Nolte of Big Hollywood called the film, a “…moving must-see.”

    “‘ARC Entertainment is proud to provide AMC Theatres – Independence Commons 20 and Kansas City amongst the initial locations to launch this highly controversial film,’ said Trevor Drinkwater, CEO of ARC Entertainment the film’s worldwide distributor. ‘This is NOT a Sarah Palin fan club movie. It transcends politics and shows no mercy to either the Left or the Republican establishment. Her story is one that every mother and daughter ¾ indeed, every citizen ¾ needs to see.’

    Wow – anyone want to clarify what a 3/4 is? I chuckled thinking that refers to how Palin’s followers think of the rest of us — only 3/4 worthy as a citizen.

    I am glad we don’t patronize AMC theaters. Netflix is our go-to movie vendor. Of course, should I ever find out Netflix contributes to uber-conservative candidates, I guess we will be reading even more than ever (always a good idea, right?).

    • mike from iowa says:

      Allow myself to be curious,huh? I have never been eaten alive and have often wondered if the feeling is the same as I had when my children were born. Out of curiousity,if anyone knows anyone who was eaten alive and lived to tell,please ask them to contact me, mike from iowa. Thank you.

      • slipstream says:

        Well, there was Jonah, but he didn’t say much about the experience.

        • mike from iowa says:

          I can only hope that Jonah had a last name of Goldberg. Probably gave the whale indigestion.

    • dahlia97 says:

      I had to laugh at this quote because if I had to watch her film, I would be “checking back tears born of a mix of emotion- from sadness and anger, to frustration and deep concern.”

    • Balzafiar says:

      The “3/4” in there is a character-set misinterpretation of a browser. The 3/4 would actually map to an Em or En Dash when correctly interpreted.

  29. LA Brian says:

    Orange County is a city? Oh, and I’m sure that by Indianapolis they’re referring to “someplace north of Marion County, say, Hamilton County where folks still love her.”

    I’m going to make ‘puffumentary’ my word of the day.

    • Sister A says:

      Yup – “:puffumentary” is definitely worth keeping around. Coined by AKM? not sure, but I LOVE IT!

    • mike from iowa says:

      Didn’t a Rethuglican mayor and city council bankrupt Orange County when Clinton was Potus? I was thinking Orange County was the Rethug stronghold in California.

      • LA Brian says:

        Mike from Iowa:

        You’re correct about Orange County being a Republican stronghold as well as the bankruptcy. San Diego and the rural areas of California are also highly Republican.

        I just found it amusing that no one would recognize the name of a city in Orange County and that the county name was used to (thankfully) avoid the association with LA.

  30. tallimat says:

    He he he, The Quitter (two words) isn’t gonna show her Undefeated (one word) in Alaska.
    Gee I wonder why? Must been those Worst Govenor Ever (three words) stickers pasted about Wasilla. Heck the hubby even saw one on a ATV in Bristol Bay.

    Anyway, ain’t life good? It is a sunny morning in Mat Su valley.
    Morning mudpups!

    • ks sunflower says:

      You know, I thought it odd that she wouldn’t show this in Wasilla. After all, she’s done so much harm there already, you’d think she’d want to punish the good people in the Mat-Su valley a bit more. You know, keep them stunned and scared to talk.

      • AKPetMom says:

        The only way we’d survive is because they sell beer at our new theatre; that just might make it do-able 🙂

      • Man_from_Unk says:

        I wonder if the Palin’s will wear masks or hire a ‘security guard’ this time back in their old neighborhood.

        • tallimat says:

          Worst Govenor Ever signs will pop up along the Parks Highway.

          And yeah, that lamestream media will be notified…

  31. Ratfish says:

    Even Iowans Know Sarah Palin- And Don’t Like What They See

    http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/2011/06/26/theres-still-room-for-more-candidates-poll-indicates/

    The poll asked respondents whether they had a favorable or unfavorable impression of several prominent Republicans in addition to those now in the running for president. Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann has the highest net favorability among those listed, rating at plus-53 points. (Net favorability subtracts those who view a candidate unfavorably from those who view the candidate favorably). She is followed by former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty at plus-45 points.

    But some noncandidates did well. Perry ranks next at plus-35, and Christie follows at plus-31.

    Wisconsin’s Paul Ryan, the budget-cutting congressman, has a net favorability of plus-25.

    Sarah Palin, the former vice presidential nominee and Alaska governor, continues to polarize. Fifty-eight percent view her favorably, but 37 percent view her unfavorably, for a plus-21 spread.

    Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani also divides respondents sharply, with a net of plus-1.

  32. benlomond2 says:

    can’t help myself… everytime I hear the “Alaskan Pipeline” from Sarah…I think of her with a large bowl of beans and tube attached………. it’s got a better chance of reality than what she’s been spouting.

    • johnny says:

      Every time I see a photo with her and the pipeline, I remember how she had nothing to do with it being built, she being roughly 10 at the time.

  33. fawnskin mudpuppy says:

    i betcha that someone in the palin household-not herself- received a jury summons at some point in the past few months and it was found in the stack of mail sitting there by the front door.
    upon discovery, she herself, had a dimmed lightbulb go off in her wittle bitty head and decided to use the “jury duty” excuse.

    yep, that’s what happened allright.

    • bubbles says:

      yep. you betcha!
      you cannot make this stuff up. now what shall we do about Bachman? this woman makes Sarah look almost human.

      • ks sunflower says:

        Bubbles, you’ve brought up a seriously scary point — Michelle Bachmann. What I cannot figure out is how Bachmann has made such inroads and gained so much in the polls over Palin — oh, yeah, Bachmann actually works at campaigning doing all the traditional campaign things like news conferences, talk shows, et cetera. Hmm – when is Sarah going to stop being scared and start working for votes.

        Mind you, I cannot understand why any sentient person would ever consider either of these crazy broads (I am talking my prerogative as a woman to use the derogatory term “broads” because it is the most polite term I can think of describing them).

        It’s pretty clear now that Palin isn’t serious – or as serious as she needs to be – about running, so I hope we don’t overlook Bachmann only to be caught unawares with an even more undesirable zealot. Bachmann strikes me as certifiable in her zealotry.

        • Maddies_Mom says:

          It’s because we have complete idiots instead of reporters and talking heads.

          • leenie17 says:

            I SOOO miss Tim Russert! He would have weeded out these idiots months if not years ago. Of course, that’s assuming they’d have the guts to be interviewed by him.

        • But hearing Bachmann lately, she sounds almost sane and reasonable. Someone must have given her some advice and she must be listening. That makes her a whole lot more dangerous than SP because there are a lot of people who haven’t been paying attention to her until now.

      • No Telling says:

        Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

        [intense satire mode]

        There is NOTHING that can make Cyst-ah Sarah {hahahaha – pun intended} look remotely human. Not even comparison with Belching Beetle Brain(less) Bachman.

        They are both ‘has been’, empty headed, refugee department store manikins escaped from the tackiest defunct display diorama created by the most deranged narcissistic advertising exec .. ever.

        i.e. They’re both clueless money loving religious bigots ‘in it’ only for themselves.

        [/intense satire mode]

        Hmm .. think I’m not terribly impressed with either of these allegedly “Christian” hypocrites? Well, you could be right!

      • johnny says:

        I think it’s the other way around. Sarah makes Bachmann look almost human. Bachman is in her 3rd term, and trumps Palin in the “kids” department. Also in the “we have our own business” department. Kudos to the moderator of Face the Nation for today quizzing Bachmann on some of her past lies. The rest of the press seems to have forgotten all the “pants on fires”. Of both women, for that matter.

        • UgaVic says:

          One of the interviewers also quizzed her on a comment she made in MI a few years ago that IF we got rid of the minimum wage we would wipe out unemployment. She backed off that fast but did say ‘all things’ should be considered.
          Scary woman!!

        • zyxomma says:

          Well, Bob Schieffer did NOT call Bachmann out on the “mental health clinics” owned by her and/or her husband. They are not mental health clinics as normal (or even mentally ill) people think of such. They’re “pray away the gay” centers.

          • johnny says:

            Well you’re right, the only one he got in before her Palin-style filibuster was the time she said that Obama admin had approved only 1 drilling permit, when, in fact, as BS pointed out there were IIRC 272 new ones approved then, and now, over 300. She just filibustered, performing a rant against the president. But I have to hand it to BS, he repeatedly tried to get an answer from her, and ended by pointing out that she would NOT answer. On the other hand we have my ex favorite political commentor practically jerking off over Bachmann.

          • johnny says:

            That being Chris Matthews who, although being the best in politics on the cable, does have a problem with the way he deals with women. I’ll never forget how he kept referring to Hillary Clinton as “the president’s wife”, instead of Senator.

  34. Willow says:

    Why is Sarah Palin’s movie only being shown in white towns?

    What’s wrong with Harlem?

    Is there something wrong with Compton or Crenshaw in Los Angeles?

    What is Sarah Palin secretly saying?

    Is Sarah Palin running for the office of Grand Dragon?

    • Ndjinn says:

      Made my stomach knot, your comment did. Sure enough someone picked whitey towns. God willing and without graybeard in the sky doing anything, I am sure those movie houses will be empty.

    • Baker's Dozen says:

      True. Orange County has one of those yellow lines painted around it–like at supermarkets to keep the carts in–only this line keeps the “undesirables” out. Guess that doesn’t include the defeated in “Undefeated.” They do have a corridor running through on I-5, which is obviously another federal government over reach,lepton’ “those people” drive through and not lettin’ them have their left coast county secede and join Haley Barbour in Mississippi.

      Actually, some of the most progressive people I know live in Orange County. Guess they’ve just never told the Management.

    • Balzafiar says:

      Why yes, yes she is. How did you know that? It’s not been announced yet!

  35. Lynn in VA says:

    Maybe, if we’re very lucky, this epic will become the Rocky Horror Picture Show of this millennium … I’d be willing to throw a tomato at it.

    AKM, was there any catchy music in it so we can do the Time Warp, or maybe the Moose Shootin’ Shuffle?

  36. bubbles says:

    Palin: “There are three words that define Alaska’s economic future – The Natural Gas Pipeline.”

    Comedy gold.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    oh Sweet Honey in the rock!
    i simply cannot wait for the Alaskan pups to wake up, brew their cups of coffee, click on ‘the Flats and comment on that line.
    have a lovely Sunday. it is a beautiful day here and i hope that is a lovely day for you all.

    • Baker's Dozen says:

      Is it all her natural gas that causes the mushroom cloud scene in the movie? This is the most importantest question asked of her. And her reply? “Any of them. All of them.”

      And the military kept telling us it was errant weather balloons! 🙂

  37. Ratfish says:

    *Sigh* Reports of Palin’s Jury Duty are Greatly Exaggerated

    So much for Palin performing her civic duty. And- once again-so much for the truth.

    Palin said a couple of days ago that the reason she interrupted her
    bus tour was: “The coming weeks are tight because civic duty calls (like
    most everyone else, even former governors get called up for jury duty)
    and I look forward to doing my part just like every other Alaskan.”

    It does not appear she has been called to report for a jury call yet,
    and the local court house reported it wouldn’t need any jurors for
    Monday. But here’s the rest of the latest recorded message for her local
    jury pool: “Please call again Monday, June 27, after 5 p.m. for
    possible service on Tuesday, June 28.”

    http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/can-sarah-palin-read-future

  38. mike from iowa says:

    From the first picture you can see Iowa also has clouds and blue sky which makes me,as an Iowan,feel totally ordinary. I get the feeling you missed your true calling. You are funnier than nearly all comedians in recent years. I would love to see you with a telestrator(sp) like John Madden used on Monday Night Football.

    • AKMuckraker says:

      Thought of you, Mike. Are you going to go??? 😉

      • mike from iowa says:

        Oh yes.We all go sooner or later and I’m no………….wuz you talking about dying? No movies for me. Bad accoustics=really bad hearing. I will hope to see it at some point. when I don’t have to pay for nausea. Thank you for asking.

  39. BlueFranco says:

    Bigger than Harry Potter. HA! I am sure JK Rowling is really nervous….LMAO!

  40. Hmmm. I notice she’s NOT coming to MA!

    • JRC says:

      I know! We have AMC theatres here. But I guess we just don’t have those highly selective demographics.

    • lftismygame says:

      Or CT, either, too.

    • Elizabeth says:

      They are also skipping the whole Pacific Northwest.

      • Man_from_Unk says:

        Well, she stuck her foot in her mouth down there in the South when she made a comment about knowing all about the “fishing industry”. The high rollers in the Alaska Commercial Fisheries come from the Pacific Northwest. As one blogger said somewhere along the line, Seattle treats Alaska as if we’re “it’s colony”.

        • johnny says:

          Then there was the one where she knew so much about farming because she has a commercial fishing business.

      • That’s the only smart choice she ever made. And we have plenty of AMC theaters to choose from.

    • Nor is this just wonderful film coming to Alaska – It would be good for laughs at the Bear Tooth!

    • Jaybee48 says:

      Perhaps it’s showing in New Hampshire instead because Bachmann told her that Concord and Lexington are there.

  41. Sally says:

    “Bigger than ‘Harry?'” Yeah, right, in their wet dreams. They do realize that those of us who see the truth about this soulless woman will NEVER subject ourselves to listening to her lie for two more hours (and pay for the privilege to boot!) Since her disapprovals are now around 60%, and her approvals are in the 20’s, that doesn’t leave a whole lot of people who even care about this drivel. The propaganda film may have worked for Adolf, but Americans are smarter than the Germans in the 30’s….we know a fake when we see one.

    • central texas says:

      Interesting argument. As a counter argument, I offer: the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America. If you are still convinced, I’ll throw in the same crew from my own local asylum, the state of Texas.

  42. Cassie Jeep says:

    Gee, Oxford, NC has the same population as Pella, Iowa and we’re not even getting a showing!

    How did that happen?

    • mike from iowa says:

      Pella is pretty darn conservatine. How come they haven’t burnt you at the stake yet?

      • Lemon722 says:

        Ain’t that the truth. I visited my mother this Spring (in Pella) and we finally agreed while I was there she would not watch Faux and I wouldn’t attack them – she won’t spring for the extra $ to get MSNBC. Noted the “movie” is going to be shown at 5 p.m. — that’s so they can still hit the Pizza Ranch.

        As someone who grew up near Pella I will say this — they are very two-faced as most zealots are – in Pella anyway it is an art form.

    • Well we know she wouldn’t show up in Durham where I live — really wrong demographics. I’ll have to warn my friends in Littleton.

  43. merrycricket says:

    “Bigger than Harry Potter” I laughed til I snorted.

    • UpStateSC says:

      That line made my day. Not only is it a hoot, but the ‘bot is basically admitting that Quitter’s vanity movie is a work of fiction by comparing it to a fictional character. Or maybe the ‘bot doesn’t realize the difference between fantasy and reality…

      • Baker's Dozen says:

        She’s arrivin’ at the premier via broomstick borrowed from You Know Who. 🙂

        • Mag the Mick says:

          She is such a perfect blend of Bellatrix Lestrange and Dolores Umbridge. Sometimes I think J.K. Rowling was gifted with The Sight when she wrote those characters.

          • johnny says:

            Just a tad more plastered on makeup and she’ll be right up there with Cruella deVille.

  44. Boudica says:

    Gah! The Grapevine TX theater is right near me. (I never go there because I hate the seats, but now I have one more reason.)

  45. OMG says:

    Palin had better watch out because Michelle Bachmann is quickly stealing her thunder. In a recent Iowa poll it was Bachmann not Palin that was one percentage point behind Romney. In fact, Palin wasn’t even mentioned in the poll. Bachmann is showing the same craziness as Palin but with the added bonus of her thick skin and courage to go on all new programs including the Sunday political talk shows. She’s also showing that she is not afraid of the hard work involved in campaigning while Palin hides behind her FB, Tweets, fancy half baked bus tour and movie premier.

    • johnny says:

      Yes, C4P is going nuts because the candidates’ poll didn’t include non-candidate Palin. Big article lambasting the Iowa newspaper that annually does that pool with the declared candidates. Like she is supposed to be referred to out of some I don’t know, rule, I guess, that she be included because she is the “governor”. Even though she is afraid to debate and really campaign.

      • johnny says:

        not pool—– poll, that is.

      • How did the Iowa caucus get to be such a big deal anyway? I couldn’t care less what the voters in Iowa think, to be honest – at least not any more than I care about voters in any other state. Is this like the popular kids in high school that no one really liked but because they told everyone they were popular they took over and ran everything. Did Iowa just start telling the rest of the country that we should all care how they poll?

        • mike from iowa says:

          I don’t know what the relevance is,I do know you will have a fair fight on your hands if you try to deny iowa its first in the nation caucus status. There are some people in Iowa that would fight to the death to defend their place in the pecking order. Besides,if not iowa,you might get some even more obnoxious state in her place.

  46. Lilybart says:

    Time just works differently for the Palins. One month pregnancies, plenty of time to fly when labor starts, month of jury duty done in two days….4years worth of major gov accomplishments in 2 years….

    • Ratfish says:

      It’s how they roll.

      One lie after another.

      One wine cooler after another.

      One unplanned pregnancy after another.

      • Man_from_Unk says:

        I saw Bill Maher’s take on Bristol Palin’s book and it was funny. Funny, funny, funny. I’m surprised at the crap book publishers sell these days.

        • johnny says:

          That was hilarious. I fell over laughing at “the sh it doesn’t fall far from the bat”

        • Dagian says:

          I was surprised that an editor AND legal department would let Bristol insinuate that she was raped (date rape) when she lied to the ‘rents and went camping instead of staying with a girlfriend.

          Honestly people, who here would simply BELIEVE their 15 yo daughter and NOT call the parents of her friend? If only to find out what time she needs to be picked up in the morning and/or to make certain there was an overnight visit? She is their SECOND teenager, not their first!

          • Judy5cents says:

            Oh, the old “I’m spending the night with my friend Susie…” routine. Cell phones make that so much easier these days, eliminating the need for Susie to say “She’s in the bathroom right now, Mrs. P, she’ll call you back when she gets out.”

            And after all the loud protests from the Palins about how the media doesn’t respect their children’s privacy–why are they so proud of Bristol for writing a book that
            broadcasts to the world intimate details of her life that most people only share with those closest to them? I certainly had no desire to find out how Bristol lost her virginity to Levi and now that I do, I wish I didn’t. It’s none of my business.

    • Alaskanna says:

      Good one Lilybart! My first thought on the Jury duty crap was what judge would want her to distract a trial? And what upstanding citizen would consider themselves doing a service by causing distraction? I am sure she could have been easily excused to another time, but that might have required her to be in Alaska in the winter.

  47. sallyngarland,tx says:

    That Undefeated press release is a lie. That Palin movie/comedy will not be in Dallas. It’s will be in Grapevine -between Ft Worth and Dallas. Grapevine isn’t even in Dallas County but Tarrant County which is the county for Ft Worth. Grapevine is 88.16% white, 2.36% African American which is very unlike Dallas county which is very diverse. The Palin forces did the same thing with her book. They listed Dallas when it was Plano which is ultraconservative. Dallas county is Democratic. It’s another lie intended to make her look like she’s playing in the “big leagues” when she isn’t. Her only Dallas endorsement was soundly defeated in 2010.

    • Cory says:

      That’s awesome, hilarious! Thanks for that!

    • mike from iowa says:

      Plano,Texas is the corporate home of Lays Potato Chips,I think. I sent them a letter praising plain old Lays chips as my favorite and got a coupon for a free bag of chips.

      • Eykis says:

        Mike,

        Plano is one of the former “farmland” areas I was speaking of – it was very tiny and became a suburb of the semi-wealthy in the 1990s. Frito-Lay used to be in Exchange Park, near DOWNTOWN DALLAS.

        Grapevine was “on the way to the lake – Lake Dallas”, Lewisville was the same, the mid-cities grew when D/FW and Texas Stadium came about – before that, Love Field is actually in the middle of Dallas, as is the Cotton Bowl – the Cowboys USED to play in Dallas. Arlington is half-way between Dallas and Ft. Worth, known for being the home of Six Flags Over Texas…..then along came Dubya and no taxes, so Arlington the Evangelical, is suffering the ravages of these GIANT corporations paying no taxes…..really bad business for the people who live in the mid-cities.

    • Simple MInd says:

      Ditto for Denver. According to the Denver Post, the showing is not in Denver, it is in Highland Ranch, a suburb south of Littleton, Colorado. (An odd coincidence that a theater just outside Columbine was their choice.) According to Wikipedia, the median family income in Highland Ranch is $103,516, and the community of approximately 71,000 people has the following demographics: 94.78% White, 1.01% African American, 0.33% Native American, 4.03% Asian, 0.07% Pacific Islander, 0.02% from other races, and 0.76% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 5.42% of the population. The distribution deal is with AMC Theaters, which does have screens in Denver. Actually, AMC has interests in over 360 theaters in over 30 states. Therefore, one assumes the placement in communities with demographics similar to Grapevine and Highland Ranch is not coincidental.

      • JaneE says:

        Oops! While I was posting below you answered my question.

        Yep, biked the MS 150 from Highlands Ranch through Franktown to C/S and then on to Royal Gorge.

        Fun, fun, fun.

        Thanks for the info. I guess I gave up too soon on my searches, but I really didn’t want to go to the sites that I was directed to, some Palinbot ones.

        JaneE

      • zyxomma says:

        And, of course, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the inventors of South Park (and now bigtime Tony winners for their musical, The Book of Mormon), are from Littleton. They’ve discussed how it’s all defense contractors and lily-white.

      • koalaholik says:

        I live north of Denver in Northglenn, a working class area with small homes built in ’69 and ’70. Highlands Ranch is a covenant controlled planned community – where the homes are beige and so are the people. It is scary right wing Christian Conservative for the most part.

    • bubbles says:

      thanks Sallygarland. very interesting. you are right, anyone reading that press release and who is not familiar with the area would think Dallas has fallen to the enemy.

    • JaneE says:

      i thought I’d look and see about the Denver listing. There are a lot of areas listed as Denver that are in no way related to the actual old downtown area that was Denver, as are areas designated as being in Los Angeles so far out in the boonies it’s ridiculous!

      How did you find the actual theatre and area you mention? I’m thinking the Denver one has to be either in the Aurora or Castle Rock corridor or other outlying areas. I did searches and found nothing listing times and showings, went to AMC and it’s very sparse (to say the least) in information.

      BTW I live in Colorado Springs, home of Focus on Family. God save me from the Christians!

      JaneE

      • jc in co says:

        I, too, live in the CS area, home of focus on your own damn family. I live in Manitou, a liberal refuge from the buybull thumpin’, unhinged faction overrunning CS. I also figured in would be showing in either castle rock or highlands ranch when they said Denver. I’m just disgusted that the self-absorbed opportunist will show her propaganda anywhere in my state. She certainly is proving to be difficult pest to eradicate…

      • leenie17 says:

        My sister lived in Canyon City for a few years and then moved down to Rye. I never realized how right wing crazy CS was until she moved to CO from New England.

        I’ve read some of the stories about how the RWNJs have essentially taken over the Air Force Academy and it scares the bejeebers out of me.

    • Eykis says:

      Sally,

      As a native of north Dallas (Lake Highlands) and a multi-generational Dallasite (Lakewood) I ALWAYS check to see which “part of the Metroplex” people claim to be Big D.

      Outsiders have no clue as to the difference between Dallas, Ft. Worth, the mid-cities and other suburban areas that USED TO BE FARMLAND when I was growing up in the actual Blue City of Dallas.

      Thank you for your vigilence in pointing this out – most people think the entire Metroplex is exactly alike.

    • Simple MInd says:

      Ditto for Kansas City. According to the Kansas City Monitor, film will show for one night in an AMC theater located in a suburb halfway between Independence and Blue Springs, Missouri, quite a distance from Kansas City. After messing up Paul Revere, one can only wonder what Palin would do with the history of Independence. Harry Truman must be turning in his grave. Independence is, coincidentally, listed by Wikipedia as the residence of Paul Henning, creator the Beverly Hillbillies.

    • Simple MInd says:

      Ditto for Atlanta. The film will actually be shown in Kennesaw, Georgia, which is over 30 miles from Atlanta. For those of you who recall something of that town, Kennesaw became famous in 1982 for passing a law requiring every head of household to own a gun.

    • the problem child says:

      In Indianapolis, it is actually JUST barely within the 495 highway. It’s part of Perry Township,not Central, but technically part of Indianapolis, in the same way that all of Marion County is. In fact, it is so close to the highway, they must be expecting everyone to come in from rural Indiana. Nearby Beech Grove is 96% white.

    • Simple MInd says:

      Gee – Dallas, Denver, Atlanta, and Kansas City…. I guess Grapevine, Littleton, Kennesaw and Independence just doesn’t have the same ring.

  48. VHTG says:

    I thinking that I’ll skip the “Undefeated” Palin film and see “Bad Teacher” instead. Since the creator of the character in “Bad Teacher” has mentioned that she based it on Sarah Palin’s style, I’m sure I’ll see far more reality in the latter film than the former.