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October 27, 2021


Help! Help! We Can’t Find Sarah Palin!

Exxon has had some challenges in Alaska in the past. Remember that whole oil spill thing? Well, that was no walk in the park. Exxon and their legal help (including now-Governor Sean Parnell) had a devil of a time with those annoying fishermen. But finally, they ruled the day, and the Supreme Court whittled down the original $5 billion settlement to a mere $500 million owed to those whose livelihoods were damaged by the spill.

And if more than 20 years of fighting feisty fishermen wasn’t enough, now they actually have to try to find all those people to whom they owe money. The spill was 23 years ago, and people tend to move around a lot, or die, or just go off the radar. And there are some that won’t be found, no matter how hard the Exxon Valdez plaintiff lawyers hunt.

There were about 35,000 who originally claimed punitive damages in the case against Exxon. 1,886 are now on a list of “impaired claims” because they could not be located to accept payment.

That’s where we stand now. They’ve still got millions of dollars left to give away, and they’re down to the final list of those that simply cannot be found. We can only imagine what it takes to evade the searing searchlights of Exxon, with its considerable resources backing the hunt.

Who are these lost souls, these hermits, these claimants who cannot be located?  They’re basically like unicorns at this point, or the holy grail, or the “real killers.”

And lo, and behold, look who’s on the list!


Why, it’s Ex-half-governor 548, and Ex-First-Dude 550 – otherwise known as Sarah and Todd M Palin of Wasilla!

Oh, where could they be now?

(I look under a napkin)

Nope. Not here.

(I walk outside and shield the sun from my eyes while I scan the Russian horizon)

No… I don’t see anything there.

I guess maybe the Exxon sleuths ought to try the last most obscure place they haven’t looked yet – that hideous red house on the shores of “Lake Lu-sill.”  You never know. They just might get lucky.

But if Exxon still can’t find the Palins, they don’t get to keep the money. Instead, it will go to the state where they were last known to live. So I guess, it means it’ll go to Arizona.

But the unknown whereabouts of the Palins aren’t the only mystery. Unless I’m missing something, Governor Palin did not disclose her Exxon Valdez claim in her financial disclosure paperwork when she was governor, which I’m thinking she would have been required to do, right?.  [See her financial disclosure forms HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.]

 As a matter of fact, I don’t recall her mentioning being a claimant, ever. At all.

The only times (and there have been LOTS of them), that she’s mentioned her and her husband’s commercial fishing interests, it’s been for their fish site in Dillingham in Bristol Bay, not in Prince William Sound at all.  But they each must have been had something of a financial nature going on in Prince William Sound, or they wouldn’t have filed a claim saying they were owed money because their livelihoods were damaged by the spill. Right?It’s really a puzzle.

Here is then Governor Palin talking about her disappointment in the Supreme Court decision that gutted punitive damages for a case in which she and her husband are both claimants. But she didn’t mention it once.

And how could someone who was the Vice Presidential nominee just forget to talk about how they were affected by the Exxon Valdez oil spill? I mean, that’s kind of a noteworthy thing, don’t you think?

Puzzle, puzzle, puzzle.

Hmmm. I guess when Katie Couric asked her about which Supreme Court decision she didn’t agree with, and she couldn’t remember that ruling about Exxon that she had spoken out so forcefully on as governor, the fact that she was a complainant, and was expecting a personal settlement in that case must have slipped her mind as well.

Well, happy hunting Exxon. Good luck locating those hard-to-find and elusive Palins. They do tend to keep to themselves.



27 Responses to “Help! Help! We Can’t Find Sarah Palin!”
  1. Ladybirddeb says:

    This should be received for what it is: BOMBSHELL! As to why the Palins never disclosed this or claim their settlement, now that is the question. How did that benefit them? What chain of lies does this link to? Any theories?

  2. tigerwine says:

    Sheesh! I’m not surprised at the Palins trying to get $$$ out of anything (after all, they tried to collect per diem for eating and staying in their own home in Wasilla while she was governor).

    What this does bring to light is that Exxon certainly has not tried very hard to find those 1,886 folk that made claims. For Gawd’s sake, if they can’t find Sarah, they surely have not tried very hard!

    Hope this list is being well circulated!

  3. The Lawman says:

    They are busy trying to explain to the feds their domestic-terrorism spree…and the money laundering incident…

  4. laurainnocal says:

    This is astonishing that their involvement in this massive Alaskan litigation hasn’t been outed in 23 years! Yet another dirty Palin secret. Excellent work Jeanne. That SCOTUS decision clip has always been my favorite.

  5. laurainnocal says:

    This is quite incredulous that their involvement in this enormous litigation hasn’t been outed in 23 years. Yet another dirty Palin secret. Excellent work Jeanne! That SCOTUS decision clip has always been my favorite.

  6. Zyxomma says:

    $arah who?

  7. mike from iowa says:

    Curiosity git the best of me. I started snooping with this oil spill in mind and found a fairly complete register of the whole shebang at Resources Library & Informational Services. The class action lawsuit-Exxon Et Al. vs Grant Baker Et Al. February 27,2008 Supreme Court transcript is a long and facinating read. Exxon basically argued that Capt Haxlewood was an employee on level with a train conductor and the good guys suggested he was (and Exxin agreed)in a managerial position. The GGs argued that Exxon had known for more than three years that Hazlewood was a drunk and did nothing about it,making them negligent and liable. Exxon claimed sonce there was no profit motive and they did not try to conceal the wreck they were not liable. This whole article shows all relevant facts and figures of the spill and aftermath. Exxons claims to have been punished and deterred enough are pure and simple bullshit and mike from iowa,a simple ex-farmer has never seen bs in greater amounts. Sarah who?(cares)

    • mike from iowa says:

      I almost forgot,justice Scalia used the word “ain’t” once in the oral arguments.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      I only found the attorneys presenting to the Court and the Justices’ questions and remarks.
      Not done reading yet.
      Holy moley.
      I forgot some stuff and never knew some.
      Didn’t really know or forgot what /how Exxon was saying by that point. Drug on so long.
      Read the actual opinion of the Court ?
      They didn’t buy a fair amount of the BS in the end.

      The only question I have about whatzername is the same one AKM and other Alaskans asked 4 years ago- why can’t /didn’t she remember this court opinion?
      Other than that- Pffft!

      • mike from iowa says:

        About all I can say in regards to big bidness and the high(as in hold your nose type high) court is it is good to have friends in “high” places.

  8. Pinwheel says:

    Not frog/troll !! Is it possible the Palins came into PWS for/during the clean-up? Some fishers and community workers left their prime site or function to help. For instance, Cordova, AK couldn’t keep restaurant help. This one may be a legitimate. n

    • thatcrowwoman says:

      Gosh, y’all,
      $he’s just living vibrantly and privately with with her happy family, progre$$ing those great Alaskan causes, also, too, while loving and enjoying her freedoms but not $eeking the $potlight or the lamestream media at great American outdoor motor sports events and TeeVee dancin shows like those tiny Hollywood starlets…
      *oh, puke*

      PWS for clean up? Work + Palin (any of ’em, all of ’em) does not compute, just sayin’
      Did $he show up with a plate of homemade cookies (from the 7-11)?
      Omitting her claim for the financial disclosure paperwork required during her aborted governorshitp? Color me shocked, eh? Shocked! pffttt.

      I will be eternally grateful to the greedy grimy grifter for introducing me to AKM, the mudflats, and the many denizens hereof. And I will continue to keep her in my prayers, as the rabbi prayed for the tzar: God bless [her] and keep [her]~~~far away from me. Amen. I do include her children and grandchildren also, too, when I pray for “all the little children of the world” morning and evening. My heart breaks for Piper and all those babies. L’dor v’dor, $arah, from generation to generation. I see squandered blessings from my porch. $he sure plowed right past that open door of advocacy for people with Down Syndrome.

      For Poor Mr$. Todd Palin it’s all about the Benjamins, but Money Can’t Buy [her] Love.
      Sing along with The Beatles, anyone?

      If her family and the folks at Faux care about her, it looks to be well past time for an intervention. Exhaustion (mental illness and addictions) can be Treated and Managed. Or not.
      Amy Winehouse Rehab


  9. COalmostNative says:

    Where oh where can Palins be?
    Are they hiding in a tree-
    Perhaps they may be under rocks…
    In a studio at some FOX…
    Not claimning their due?
    That’s sort of funny-
    They’re always attracted by fame- and money 😉

  10. HoboJohn says:

    Perhaps they are hiding because everyone knows they fish Bristol Bay that wasn’t affected by the Exxon/Valdez oil spill. Possibly they filed faul claim for nonexistent damage and possibly they even made more money as they had less competition.

    • UgaVic says:

      I believe there were a number of people who fished Bristol Bay, not PWS, who were awarded from claims they had. I am not totally sure of the reason BB fishermen got to make claims, and recieve awards, but it might have had something to do with the overall market for salmon from Alaska being hurt.

      A good number of fishermen from the Chignik side of the Alaska Peninsula also made claims and recieved awards and they did not fish in PWS.

      There also was the damage done to the herring runs in PWS that might have had something to do with the markets for Sitka and Togiak herring.

      Overall I am not ready to say they made a false claim or had ‘nonexistent damage’ even as I am absolutely no fan of either of them!

  11. EatWildFish says:

    I believe the Paylins’ claim payouts from Exxon are just a few hundred dollars.

    BUT — my husband and I had claims valued at and signed off by attorneys of $160,000. We live/fish/sportfish in Kodiak. Our final payouts totaled under $2,000 after the Exxon money was ratcheted down by the courts.

    MEANING: The Paylins’ likely had big claims in, but only got dribs and drabs like so many ELIGIBLE Alaskans. It would be interesting to find their original claim amounts.

    Bristol Bay, where Todd fishes, didn’t qualify as one of the ‘oiled areas’ – as anyone who lived through the Exxon oil spill nightmare can attest. Just look at the map.

  12. beth. says:

    I do believe both Exxon and the Palins have just been royally and thoroughly Mudflatted (tm pending) by our very own AKM. As we all know, once Mudflatted (tm pending), there’s no more hiding dastardly –if not terribly inept– shenanigans. To be sure, our very own Jeanne is a priceless, incredible, true gem. beth.

    • Pinwheel says:

      Beth, I don’t understand your proprietorial behavior. Not sure I lke it, either. n

      • beth. says:

        [Pinwheel — didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers with my comment. If the “(tm pending)” is what you find objectionable, I used it merely to set “Mudflatted” off; merely to set the import and impact of it apart — recognizing that it’s a special ‘notice’ reserved only for the Most Deserving and delivered by our very own AKM with the utmost wit and wisdom to a wide audience. And delivered, as ever, with her most laser-precise focus. Apologies if I offended you or any one, Pinwheel — ’twas totally unintentional on my part, if I did. beth.]

  13. Marilyn says:

    She’s watching Bristol prance at DWTS….saw her and Todd there Monday night, holding Bristol’s cute little son….but not their own. He’s probably stuffed in an attic somewhere since he’s no longer useful to pack around as a prop.

  14. Dee says:

    To quote Joe Scarborough, “Sweet Jesus!”

  15. the problem child says:

    There’s money to be had and the Grifter can’t be found?

    • alwaysagardener says:

      You do have to wonder if she just lost the scent for fish money after she got those other dog whistles for governor, VP and celebrity. What a ditz. I too thought it was amazing during that interview when she couldn’t remember a court decision she didn’t like given the Exxon decision had just come down. But, as Alaskans we noted this as it was such a fresh open wound. It went by the rest of the country. I think she froze up because she thought it was a question about Roe v Wade and she sure as hell wasn’t going there. By that time she was aware most people were aware she was a total fraud. It was only her outsized ego that kept her going. I find her one of the most baffling people ever to hit the political scene. Hopefully she will head out to the infomercial or Jeebus TV route and we won’t hear about her anymore.

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