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March 28, 2024

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Friday, January 28, 2022

Captain Zero Rides Again

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Sean Parnell, who stepped into the steaming pile of leftover Palin in 2010, announced his intention to run for re-election this evening. He’s not finished wreaking havoc on the state budget, and draining our coffers into a giant oil drum. Thanks to his predecessor’s early departure, he can serve for a total of ten long years.

“We have a great working team with us here in Juneau. We intend to build on that in Juneau. We intend to frame-in this opportunity for Alaskans by seeking re-election in 2014,” he said to loud applause.

“I’m not ready to take the distraction of another race right now,” he said in an obvious reference to the U.S. Senate. “My focus is on Alaskans and doing this job well.”

Parnell made the announcement in Fairbanks at a reception during the convention of the Alaska Federation of Republican Women at Pike’s Waterfront Lodge, owned by former Republican legislator Jay Ramras.

“Governor Parnell took a $5 billion surplus and turned it into billion dollar deficits. Alaska can’t afford another four years of an oil lobbyist as governor,” said Mike Wenstrup, Chair of the Alaska Democratic Party. “Don Young said it best when he nicknamed Parnell ‘Captain Zero.’”

Actually, Captain Zero sounds a heck of a lot better than Captain Negative Billions.

His signature legislation, SB 21 transfers at least $5.5 billion in oil wealth from Alaska resource owners to multinational corporations. His allies in the Senate, including Resource Chair Cathy Giessel say they are “proud” of the giveaway. Repeal efforts are now underway to reverse the disaster through a citizens initiative.

And this from the Democratic Party:

Parnell’s fiscal mismanagement is not limited to the oil wealth giveaway: Between FY 2008 and FY 2013, state operating expenses (not including capital expenses) skyrocketed from $5.8 to $8.9 billion. While he liquidated state savings and increased state spending, Parnell has paid his top four staffers approximately $1 million per year.

Speculation has been running wild since Parnell announced he’d state his intentions today. So now we know, he’ll be vying to keep his current job, lobbyist for ConocoPhillips.

Comments

comments

Comments
13 Responses to “Captain Zero Rides Again”
  1. shelley gill says:

    so I guess I’m done…take the oil, the gold, the coal…just do it fast and leave. Get the hell out of here. Try and not destroy the fish but you probably need to leave legacy of waste in your wake. Whatever. Just go. Leave us in peace.

  2. NEO says:

    So, I guess, we know who will fund his campaign.

  3. jwb1957 says:

    Pawn Sharnell still has a Pebble to defile the state with

  4. Zyxomma says:

    You know, I’ve never before seen a close-up photo of this jerk who passes as Governor of the great state of Alaska. Now that I have, I think he looks like the bastard son of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. See what I mean?

  5. joanne says:

    Not another term, until hell freezes over! Ack, what’s that out my window?

  6. AKMagpie says:

    Methinks Mother Nature is is expressing her opinion of the prospect of another Parnell governorship – she is trying to cover it up with more May snow here in Anchorage.

  7. mike from iowa says:

    What’s left for rethuglicans to defile?

  8. Mo says:

    And our Alaska Republicans and “Independents” [i.e., Republicans too embarrassed to own the label] will vote for him just like before. Because, “Derp!”

    When you hate hippies and liberals and Democrats and brown people and gays, the Republican Party is the only corner you can paint yourself into. Hate is a GOP specialty. They sell you the right to be a smug, self-righteous hater in return for accepting corporate overlordship. Being a Republican is a religion, in more ways than one.

  9. Paddlefoot says:

    I just can’t forget his response to the question as to the age of the Earth. 6,000 or 6,000,000,000 years old? “Only our creator knows,” says the anointed one. How can any educated person go along with this? You can have all the faith you want, but does this allow you to negate all the information that has been accumulated by the scientific community over all the years of non-partisan and non denominational inquiry? I sincerely believe that the majority of my countrymen and the worldwide community want the same things, We want to be able to raise our children in a non threatening environment and we really do believe in the possibility of world peace. However, the decisions that are being made by our elected officials and the corrupt governments around the world have me very concerned. Let us hold strong.

  10. Ice Gal says:

    This man should be shot by a aerial wolf hunter from a helicopter, stuffed, and then placed on permanent display in the creation museum, next to our other dinosaurs ding yun and liza mur kow sky

    • Mo says:

      Sorry, but I’m increasingly finding any sort of gun violence metaphors offensive, even if meant in jest. This is the sort of comment I’d expect from a gun goon winger.

      “To crush your enemies — See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!” is still pretty appealing, however. With votes.

  11. Corruption Unabated... says:

    What is new with Boy Wonder or Captain Zero as coined by Don…what he won’t like to hear is questions he cannot answer…like why did Sarah really resign? What was that July 2nd 2009 email that scared her? Why did you adjust Alaska Laws to cover up the crimes committed by Sarah and Company…why was the HUGE trust account embezzled…why did Sarah give Trans Canada aka England $500 million dollars? Why have human rights violations against children gone unpunished…why did Senator speak of “birthright owner” and what was he referring to? Why is it when someone has too many questions…Wonder Boy goes silent? Well Summer is here and the time is right for dancing in the streets of GENEVA…you know where the United Nations courts are…since you hired your Pastor buddy to delegate the hiring of judges in Alaska…well Alaskans are not asleep at the wheel as you think Sean…why did they wake from such a slumber…uh…they chose respect…that is why the will not choose you for Governor Wonder Boy…

    • Kindgom of Heaven says:

      Epitafio…Luis Delgado…
      Sean is nothing but a mosquito…