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June 15, 2021

Headlines:

Alaska Politicians Uncovered!

If you are a person of symbology, a political mystic, or for any reason believe that anagrams have any kind of hidden meaning, then get out your crystal ball, light a bundle of sage, and wrap your head around these startling divinations.

I took it upon myself to use a handy online anagram generator (or two) to share with you the deeper, sometimes darker, and often creepily accurate dimension of  (echoey deep voice—->) THE POLITICAL ANAGRAM.

Let’s begin with the executive branch:

images-5

Governor Sean R Parnell = Plane Snarler.

Hmmm… I thought that was Sen. Lesil McGuire!

 

ltgovenor_treadwell_alaska

 

 Lt. Governor Louis Mead Treadwell = Well-made as Dire Lout.

If you’re going to be a dire lout, be well-made.

Begich-020909-18429- 0014

Senator Mark Peter Begich = Make Bright Creep.

Hey, at least he’s bright!

images-6

Senator Lisa Ann Murkowski – I’m a liar’s skunk now.

Now?

images-7

Congressman Donald Edwin Young = Gonad in woundedly.

God knows, Don Young has wounded plenty of gonads in his day but, I tried to make a better one.

Don Edwin Young = Unending woody.

OK, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

joe_miller-1

Joseph Wayne Miller = Enjoy Swampier Hell!

OK, he’s only a potential candidate at this point, but I couldn’t resist.

State Senate:

MHE

Peter Micciche = I’m hectic creep!

Mmmmkay.

MCG

Lesil McGuire = Lie, crime slug!

She had a directive.

STG

Gary Stevens = Nervy stages.

He does have those!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Catherine Giessel = Cheesier genitals…

Hey! Don’t look at me,  I didn’t name her.

SMN

Bert Stedman = Rams net debt.

Oh, those number crunchers.

CGL

John Bruce Coghill = Crouching job, Hell!

I’ve never heard it called that, but I’m thinking it involved an oil company or three?

HUG

Charlie Huggins = Churlish ageing.

Ouch.

HOF

Lyman Hoffman = Man off hymnal.

I don’t judge.

ELL

Johnny Ellis = Jelly Ho Inns

Do not start this chain, Senator.

Senator Hollis French

Hollis French = Fresh chill on!

Yo!

WIE

Bill Wielechowski = Cowbell while I ski!

Nifty trick!

MEY

Kevin P. Meyer = My Keen Viper.

Is that like My Little Pony for Republicans?

BIS

Click Bishop = Slick Phobic.

Clearly not enough, considering his vote on cruise ship dumping. Just saying.

GAN

Berta Gardner = Greater Brand.

That she is.

EGA

Dennis Egan = Sane ending.

Exactly what he was, after the Palin Picks a Senator debacle of 2009.

KEP

Pete Kelly = Key pellet.

Owl? Rabbit?

OLS

Donald Olson = Old and loons.

Sorry, man.

DNL

Mike Dunleavy = Naked evil! Yum!

I got nothin’.

FAI

Anna Fairclough = Our anal chafing.

Is there a salve for that? Because we need one.

DYS

Frederick Dyson = Frisky corn deed.

Moving right along…

State House (Oh, yes I did… All of ’em!)

AUS

Alan Austerman – Mean as natural.

Works for him.

CHE

Mike Chenault – Humane tickle.

Eeeeewww. And not!

COS

Mia Costello – Malice tools.

She’s got ’em!

DRU

Harriet Drummond – North druid, arm me!

Is this what she says before going on the floor?!

EDG

Bryce Edgmon – End bog mercy.

Quick! Guard the wetlands!

FEI

Eric A Feige – I age fierce.

Mmmhm.

FON

Neal Foster – Reason left.

Buh-bye.

GAR

Les Gara – Large as.

Good thing he only spells it with one ‘s’.

GAT

Lynn Gattis – Nasty Glint.

Look away!

GRU

Max Gruenberg – Bug Marx green!

That’ll show the commie bastard!

GTT

David Guttenberg – Gnat bug diverted.

It’s Fairbanks. There will be more.

HAW

Michael Hawker – Heck, I ram whale!

Step away from the ocean!

HEO

Robert Herron – The born error.

Oh, dear.

HIG

Pete Higgins – Seething pig.

‘K.

HOL

Lindsey Holmes – Yells, “Hedonism!”

Yell it, baby!

HUS

Shelley Hughes – Yes, she Hell hug.

Run away!

ISN

Doug Isaacson – Odious gas can.

Precisely.

JHN

Craig Johnson – His con jargon.

They keep falling for it.

JOS

Andy Josephson – Enjoys hand ops.

I’m only the messenger.

KAW

Scott Kawasaki – Wait! A sock task!

Just don’t roll them up in those little balls.

KEE

Wes Keller – Reeks well.

Is that possible?

KER

Beth Kerttula – The tub talker.

Don’t wanna know.

KRE

Jonathan Kreiss-Tomkins – Janitor shakes mink snot.

It’s not nice to gossip about the cleaning guy.

LEU

Gabrielle LeDoux – Large, deluxe boil.

Ooo! Deluxe!

LYN

Robert Lynn – Nobler ‘n try.

Meh.

MIL

Charisse Millett – I’m still cheaters!

Oh, really?

MUN

Cathy Muñoz – Much to zany!

Um. That should be “too,” but we’ll accept the Republican spelling.

NAG

Benjamin Nageak – A keen bang, in jam.

To each his own.

NEU

Mark Neuman – Am rank menu.

He’s today’s special.

OLL

Kurt Olson – Looks runt.

Hmmm.

PRU

Lance Pruitt – Neat culprit, or pert lunatic.

I couldn’t decide. Take your pick.

REI

Lora Reinbold – Liberal donor!

Do they know this in the Valley?

SAD

Dan Saddler – Added snarl!

Now 25% more!

SAN

Paul Seaton – Up, Satan!  Olé!

It’s a party in Homer!

STZ

Bill Stoltze – Blitz to sell.

His soul? The state? Details, please.

TAR

Geran Tarr – Rare grant.

Indeed.

THP

Steve Thompson – Hot pest venoms.

Yummy.

TUC

Chris Tuck – Stuck rich.

Poor thing.

WLS

Peggy Wilson – Snowy pig gel.

Hair treatment?

WLT

Tammie Wilson – Wail, “Some mint!”

Someone get her one, for God’s sake!

Comments

comments

Comments
6 Responses to “Alaska Politicians Uncovered!”
  1. Zyxomma says:

    Time to dig out the Scrabble board and play along at home.

  2. alwaysagardener says:

    Where are those web sites?

  3. joanne says:

    Anal chafing! hoowah!

  4. Lucky Charms says:

    “Our anal chafing” and “Up, Satan! Olé!” did it for me.

  5. Mo says:

    Weird how our minds mate these names with ideas that make them seem a perfect fit, isn’t it.

    “Large deluxe boil” made me laugh out loud.

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