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September 19, 2021

Virginia Kills Santa

It's a long way down from the Jefferson-Hamilton rivalry of yore.

It’s a long way down from the Jefferson-Hamilton rivalry of yore.

(Washington, DC) — While the government shutdown may currently be the most nationally covered spectacle to emit from this town it is, incredibly, not the most disgusting thing to happen within it. That dubious distinction is reserved for its service as prime media market for the Virginia gubernatorial race.

In this corner: Ken Cuccinelli (R)

Government so small it fits in your uterus.

Government so small it fits in your uterus.

Consumers of progressive media are by now well versed in the Virginia Attorney General’s draconian platform on social issues, and MSNBC’s infotainers have made Cuccinelli a poster child for his party’s most talibanesque tendencies.

He’s also a craven lad, as his most recent ad features an African-American woman and alleged “lifelong Democrat” vouching for Cuccinelli. Yes, Ken wants you to know he has black friends.

A fundraiser he headlined with Sen. Ted Cruz (T – Texas) in the past week also illustrated that Cuccinelli isn’t one to stand on ceremony. Or loyalty. Though his political soul mate sang Cuccinelli’s praises throughout his remarks, Ken wouldn’t have known this as he gave the junior senator the slip before the former even began speaking. There would be no photos with Cruz nor even a single mention of his name by The Man With Lots Of New Black Friends.

In the other corner: Terry McAuliffe (D)

Making Dick Morris look like the Dalai Lama.

Making Dick Morris look like the Dalai Lama.

The state’s last two Democratic governors—current US Senators Mark Warner and Tim Kaine—are generally regarded as decent, competent guys who meet the basic requirements of integrity. Their party clearly found such traits a total snore and has decided to add some tabloid pizazz via former Clinton bagman and all-around dirtbag Terry McAuliffe.

What’s that? “There’s no need for such hyperbole and name-calling,” you say?  Permit me to submit this headline from today’s Washington Post as Defense Exhibit A:

McAuliffe among investors in Rhode Island insurance scam that preyed on dying people

So yeah, I’ll go ahead and stick with “dirtbag.”

His tradecraft over the years has boiled down to monetizing his political connections generally, and his proximity to the Clintons in particular. McAuliffe is a self-dealing financial vehicle that has left skid marks across the backs of some pretty vulnerable people.

McAuliffe’s most admirable quality is providing the entertainment value that comes with watching someone completely unmoored from any shred of integrity, honesty, or basic decency. If Joe Isuzu had knocked up Leona Helmsley, Terry McAuliffe would be the result.

Although obviously produced by his political enemies for partisan purposes, the hatchet film Fast Terry is still darkly hilarious.

The winner: Terry McAuliffe

It’s not going to be close as residents of the Old Dominion, like many other Americans, have decided they’ll take a slimy operator over a theocratic extremist.

The loser: Virginia

It’s a phenomenally beautiful state of beaches, horse country, Colonial architecture, and the Blue Ridge Mountains. It’s home to one of our nation’s finest public universities, several of its greatest Presidents, and many of its most notable historical sites. Good people can disagree about the merits of being home to the Dave Matthews Band, but the point is this is not some hapless backwater with nothing going for it. Given that, the gubernatorial choices confronting Virginia voters are rather stunning.

“Thomas Jefferson still survives,” were the final, dying words of his presidential predecessor and fellow Virginian John Adams. We shall see about that. Thankfully, Virginia limits its governors to a single term.

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Comments
8 Responses to “Virginia Kills Santa”
  1. Pinwheel says:

    I admit I have been waiting for someone else to uncover this snakes’ nest, Terry McAuliffe. Virginia does deserve much better. However, having lost Jim Webb as an honorable Democratic US Senator and choosing their current Governor, I conclude Virginia is for lovers of anti-depressants, whiskey, and ganja !! n

  2. Zyxomma says:

    John Adams was born in Braintree (now Quincy) MA. Otherwise, fine post. I want to see Ken Cuccinelli roundly defeated. Too bad that defeat may come at the hands of one of the slimiest remnants of the Clinton era.

  3. John says:

    Nit picking but, John Adams a fellow Virginian? I don’t think so.

    • beth. says:

      How about: “Thomas Jefferson still survives,” were the final, dying words of John Adams, his presidential predecessor and McAuliffe’s fellow Virginian? beth.

  4. Art Petersen says:

    The Mudflats could have done much better than to pick this smarmy, glib, and too cute by 90% blog on the gubernatorial election in Virginia. The evidence is in on “The Cucc” (say “Cooch”), but trying to balance him out with McAulliffe and claiming they’re even reveals a thumb on the scale. The Mudflats can do better. For help if needed, e-mail Rachel Madow; she’ll tell you where to look, such as on her own blog.

  5. JHypers says:

    Hmmmm a choice between a “slimy operator and a theocratic extremist”…….

    For amusement purposes, it would be great to see a well-funded, highly publicized campaign in Virginia for….wait for it….

    NOBODY

    That’s right. Vote for nobody…complete with political ads and all the trimmings. What a tremendous opportunity to kill the actual Santa here, which is the illusion of choice in the democratic process of electing officials of the state.

  6. karen marie says:

    McAuliffe is a lot of things, but he was not involved in the insurance scam. http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2013/10/hacktacular-28

    • beth. says:

      What’s that old adage: “If you lay down with flea-ridden dogs…” If his campaign acknowledges he was an investor in the scheme, there’s probably something to it. beth.

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