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October 24, 2021


Palin, Ducks & Free Speech


OK, so I guess I’m writing this.

From Sarah Palin's facebook page. One of the Palin Clan wraps themself on a private plane in a Duck Dynasty blanket.

One of the Palin Clan wraps up on a private plane in a Duck Dynasty blanket.

I tried really hard not to, but if one more person screamed, “First Amendment!” in defense of this self proclaimed hillbilly, I think I’d cry. [Sidenote: Can I say that if you get a paycheck from the Arts and Entertainment Network, you immediately lose your ‘hillbilly’ creds.]

The Half Hearted Governor Sarah Palin dressed in camo, that she claims she wears ‘all’ the time went on Fox News to bloviate:

“This is all about freedom, free speech, you know, so many American families have spilled blood and treasure to guarantee Phil Robertson and everybody else’s right to voice their personal opinions and once that freedom is lost, everything is lost in our country.”

Yes Sarah, everything is lost because Duck Dynasty’s Phil doesn’t get to say brilliant things like this on A&E to millions of cornfed Americans.


Even Governor Bobby Jindal took the time to add his thoughts:

“Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV. In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views. In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended. “

[Please take a moment and realize that the statement above is from an official State of Louisiana press release. Click here if you don’t believe me.]

While we all get in a tizzy about the bearded one’s (no, not Joe Miller) right to free speech, let’s remember that in no way shape or form has his free speech been stopped. The article from Gentlemen’s Quarterly (GQ) was published online, and I assume will be in print. It has been shared across the planet – at the time I write this it has 126,000 likes on Facebook, hundreds of tweets, and a couple hundred on google+ (that’s a lot for google+ guys). I will even spread the Duck Whisperer’s gospel here on TheMudflats as to make sure that we will not be accused of preventing this great Preacher of the Lord’s words from being spread.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

Let it be said, let it be done.

His family defended his words on their website, again, uncensored. They were not defending him under free speech, but because his words were from the Bible. As you know Mark had long passages on the quantitative beauty of a man’s hole, vs. a woman’s.

“The family has spent much time in prayer since learning of A&E’s decision.  We want you to know that first and foremost we are a family rooted in our faith in God and our belief that the Bible is His word.  While some of Phil’s unfiltered comments to the reporter were coarse, his beliefs are grounded in the teachings of the Bible. “

Oddly when Phil beat a couple in Arkansas ‘badly’ enough that he had to flee the state, he never repented for that, or apologized.  “I didn’t dredge anything back up. I just put it behind me.” His Bible learning is as selective, as his understanding of history.

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field…. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”


But that’s all beside the point. Whether his insane bigoted beliefs came from the Bible or the back of a cereal box, doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the right wing doesn’t seem to understand the First Amendment. It’s like they skipped right over it to the Second.

I was discussing this ridiculous hullabaloo with a friend of mine the other night and he said something perfect.

 “It depresses me that the Right still haven’t figured out that “freedom of speech” doesn’t mean insulation from consequences.”

Martin Bashir quits. Alec Baldwin gets fired. Van Jones resigns. The left gets that. For some reason the right wing doesn’t. Phil Robertson was put on leave from the show for a reason – he made the network look bad. Which is pretty tough when their line up includes shows like Rodeo GirlsShipping Wars, Storage Wars, and Parking Wars – but he still managed to do it. Any corporation on the planet would do it. Advertisers leave Rush Limbaugh because they don’t want to be attached to his insanity – this is the free market. He signed a contract that likely had a line somewhere in it saying “I will not say things that would disparage A&E Network.” That’s why Baldwin lost his show, and the same with Bashir. Van Jones served at the pleasure of the President, until the President didn’t want him to. A&E made the right decision for their bottom line, it’s simple.

Just don’t cry for Phil. He’s still worth millions, all from tricking ducks into thinking that he wants to have sex with them.


*Please note that several of these jokes about Phil were stolen from the Shannyn Moore Show’s latest episode.




39 Responses to “Palin, Ducks & Free Speech”
  1. Dagian says:

    “Martin Bashir quits. Alec Baldwin gets fired. Van Jones resigns.”

    Don’t forget Laura Schlessinger!

    “National furor erupted when Schlessinger used the N-word 11 times in five minutes during a call August 10 with an African-American caller who was seeking advice on how to deal with racist comments from her white husband’s friends and relatives. The conversation evolved into a discussion on whether it’s appropriate to use the word ever, with Schlessinger arguing it’s used on HBO and by black comedians.”

    People who thought she was a buffoon told the advertisers they wouldn’t patronize their businesses, the advertisers pulled their ads, etc.

    “Several of her affiliates and major sponsors had dropped her show after her on air use of a racial epithet on August 10.”

  2. mike from iowa says:

    Try ‘er this way-Palin ducks free speech. Maybe- Free Speech eludes Palin. How did she miss the chance to exploit another death in Colorado High School shooting?

  3. Lol... says:

    Karen I was thinking the same thing…well after the “hu so Sarah is a Leech and Bristol a Leech” attach onto anything that keeps your names circulating for what “services” again? Immoral and Illegal according to their version of “God’s Will” so I would be careful now…what goes around comes around…and you both will end up getting dumped by all the networks…rantings and all…don’t worry honey we will send you a box of cookies…

  4. Mo says:

    A cartoon [Yay! We love cartoons!] that reminds us of the wisdom of “A picture is worth a thousand words” –

    Billy Birdstrangler

    • Alaska Pi says:

      Pffft! What a doof! And he wants to be a lawmaker?
      Mr Duck did NOT take a stand against societal persecution of Christians, as Mr Bayne puts it. Mr Duck shot his mouth off in an interview . About his own “values”… or lack thereof.
      As to the idea that societal persecution of Christians is happening- oh, gimme a break!
      As for the Rosa-Parks-of -our-generation horsepunky- Mega Pfffttt!
      Mr Duck did not get arrested. Mr Duck did not get fired- he got hiatus-ed. He did nothing which put his life and limb in jeopardy. He won’t be tied up in court over this. He didn’t practice civil disobedience knowing he would suffer for it .
      He shot his mouth off and has gotten his widdle feelers hurt because a bunch of people got ticked at him. Woo. woo.

  5. GoBig says:

    I have been getting so tired of the “first amendment” rants from the right. None of those intellectually challenged pundits seem to realize the first amendment limits government suppression of speech.

    Your employer has all kinds of power over what you say. Feel free to speak your mind, just don’t act surprised when you’re fired or suspended.

    I wonder why all the wing nuts aren’t standing up to defend the Westborough Babtist Church crowd? They essentially espouse the same stuff that Phil does. They just do it with a little more dramatic flair.

  6. mike from iowa says:

    and Bristol put her highly inflated two cents worth in with her little recitation about god and faith. Trust me,posting the link to Snowgrift Snoozie Junior is a load this mere mortal can’t bear.

  7. fishingmamma says:

    I was listening to coverage of this latest kerfuffle last night. Can’t remember who exactly said it, but the next season’s episodes of this duck show are finished and ready to air, all but the last two episodes, so the “hiatus” will actually have no effect on the show and will have no effect on the duck-man’s pocketbook.

    So I said to myself – “Self? What could be the real reason for all the hullaballoo?”

    (I love words like ‘Kerfuffle’ and ‘hullaballoo’ and I think they are underused.)

    The only logical explanation for all of this “nonsense news” is that it is, plain and simple, a publicity stunt. These ‘reality shows’ are scripted and planned. This show is about to start a new season, and the publicity department at A & E came up with a brilliant plan that has every talking head from Bill Maher to Rush Limbaugh talking about this show. The show’s target audience are all running in circles with their hair on fire screaming about the first amendment and freedom and Rill ‘Merikans, and they trotted out their Alaska Camo Barbie and everyone took the bait.

    I agree with Stephen Colbert’s sentiment: Who really cares what a backwoods duck murderer has to say?

  8. P.J. says:

    OMG everyone has just got to stop covering this crazy bitch and let her crawl back into her cave. Maybe ole Phil has one she could use? Keep them whole bunch there, in the swamps eating raw duck and praying. These people SO need to go AWAY.

  9. juneaudream says:

    Back before..the Neanders an such..there were at least 3..or more other human-types..and then..they went extinct. I am thinking..we need to feed and care for those who are such ‘states of ..Being’ the curr. focused upon item. DNA..may prove..that in the darkest mudzones..some genetics..are not quite rotting away..and we may need to watch for a rising tide..of things with tiny brains..and dragging lizard they emerge..from the swamps. He appears mindless..but someone..scratch his scales for him..the poor a dying breed.

  10. mike from iowa says:

    Policy: The Editors reserve the right to delete any comments which in their sole discretion are deemed false or misleading, profane, pornographic, defamatory, harassment, name calling, libelous, threatening, or otherwise inappropriate. Additionally, the Editors reserve the right to ban any registered poster who, in their sole discretion, violates the terms of use. Do not post any information about yourself reasonably construed as private or confidential. Conservatives4Palin and its contributors are not liable if users allow others to contact them offsite.

    This is the comment notice from c4p website guaranteeing everything everyone says gets printed or I’m a monkey’s uncle. Geez,only exceptional people get free speech rights in Palin’s world.

    • mag the mick says:

      Very good point, Mikey.

      Your bananas (for being a monkey’s uncle)should arrive shortly.

      • mike from iowa says:

        🙂 🙂 Many thanks. They should go well with the citrus I got from Eldest sibling from Florida. Tangerines,oranges and grapefruit, and now bananas. Yum yum!

        • Zyxomma says:

          Tangerines, oranges, grapefruit, and bananas? Chop up a ripe avocado, add to the citrus, slice the banana thinly, and sprinkle with fresh-ground cinnamon. Stir in a little olive oil. Grind in a little Himalayan salt, and you’ve got the best breakfast fruit salad. Yum.

          • mike from iowa says:

            Sounds quite yummy except for the avocado. Not sure I want to eat something that has never seen a cornfield before. 🙂

          • tigerwine says:

            Zyxomma – thanks for solving what I’m going to have for breakfast tomorrow morning. I got got some Florida citrus, also, and 3 bananas, too! Maybe I’ll even toss in some
            shredded coconut I have left over from Christmas cookies! Thanks!

  11. Probably funniest and best written article on the subject but missing key point. Think this was more of a final straw kind of event because many people (myself included) are tired of SOME on the tolerant left choosing to go after a self proclaimed backcountry redneck yet ignoring the invitation of Ahmadinejad, whose regime rounded up and killed homosexuals, to speak at Columbia University. Where is GLAAD’s outrage about that? The Pope who also maintains the Catholic Church doctrine that homosexuality is a sin gets an award by LGBT magazine because he slightly cracks a door open but tolerant left ignores Phil’s rest of his statement about not judging others and loving each other. Surprisingly he didn’t express himself as eloquent but message was identical.

    And racism? Really? Why don’t you ask Willie’s adopted biracial son how racist they are???

    • mike from iowa says:

      Near as I can tell, is not a part of GLAAD,does not represent GLAAD and is not beholden to GLAAD. As for the Pope,one tends to believe he represents the Catholic Church,good or bad. Palin and Robertson are not official spokespersons for any religion,real or imagined. They act as if they have special dispensation to spread the gospel of hate,intolerance and guns and then play the victim card when light gets shone on their divergence from the gospel espoused by Jesus H. Christ,hisownself. Robertson has a history of anti-Gay messaging. Cracker Barrel Restaurant chain is pulling some of Robertson’s stuff from their businesses. Robertson is free to say what he wants. No one says he can’t. A&E has that same right. This is soley my opinion.

    • Alaska Pi says:

      Oh horsepunky. The left and and a whole buncha others on the spectrum had a cow about Mr A being invited to speak at Columbia in 2007. The Uni Pres was skewered every which way by a a bazillion folks- including the left.
      Mr Bollinger, a free speech advocate extraordinaire, pressed on and followed through and then personally skewered Mr A- a primo example of free-speech-has-consequences there for Mr A.

      The “tolerant left” is a figment of right wing thought- made up of snippets of thises and thats and trotted out whenever the left ticks em off. I could go on for a week on that one alone.

      Mr Robertson may think he’s talking about not judging others and loving others and you may think all that crap he said is “not judging” but I disagree. There’s no love or understanding in any of the quotes here – just obnoxious spewing.
      Also too- Mr Robertson may not be a straight up bigot but he is a racist of the most basic kind. To be so utterly clueless about never hearing black people talk bad about white people ? At the time and place he was in? Pffft!

  12. bonefish says:

    This is another instance of the saying that my desire to stay informed is at odds with my desire to stay sane.
    That, and it’s a tempest in a teapot, or cesspool, if you prefer, much like that fairy tale “war on xmas.”

    Bug Humbar, anyway…

  13. brooke heppinstall says:

    Ann Coulter….end of discussion…..blargh…

  14. Alaska Pi says:

    Thank you Zach.
    Your friend is correct- making use of one’s right to free speech does not mean one is immune to consequences. I’m guessing though that this will be yet another of those stoopid all-is-forgiven dealies now that “Mr Duck” has made his phony apology and his suspension will be short… like til they start filming again.
    whatzername has managed to insulate herself fairly well in recent years. Tucked away behind money, refusal to deal with anyone she doesn’t want to, and her magic cape of phony righteousness , she can spout her BS fairly safely. Not without consequences but still fairly safely. Too safely for me- sure wish we could nail her down on the ACES dealie she could not have managed without our AK Ds…

    As to” Mr Duck”- I am so sick and frickin tired of the happy-negro type story he tells. The lying horsepunky he let loose there ?
    Mr Duck-
    1- You were not alive before “pre-welfare” . The laws which created what came to be called welfare came in 1935, you were born in 1946, so you have no idea what pre-welfare was like.
    2-what in the world makes you think any black person of your youth would have confided in you about what they thought about white people?
    a- you were born on the eve of the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s- not before it- and came of age at the height of the struggles Lynchings and murders of “uppity” black folk were still the order of the day for far too many .You were 8 years old when Jinm Crow was legally ended,. How many GD years did it take for that reality to percolate through everyday life there?
    b-white trash does not equal black experience no matter how many times that tired old trope gets brought up. As white trash you were still accorded more privilege than your black neighbors -period.
    I’m not even going to go after his &%^$%^ing crap about LGBT issues. I am beyond tired of all that hiding in the bible stuff on that . That phony christian routine has sucked the brains out of its adherents. Period.

  15. Bucsfan says:

    Hmm. I don’t recall Sarah Palin defending Martin Bashir’s free speech rights or Letterman’s. I also remember her wanting Rahm Emmanuel fired as White House Chief of Staff for supposedly using the word retarded. But when Limbaugh or Ann Coulter flings that word around, she either is silent or in says they are using sarcasm and liberals just don’t get the humor. She reminds me of Bill Donahue of the Catholic League and Fox News, who attacks anyone he thinks is casting aspersions on the Catholic Church, but when Limbaugh calls the Pope a Marxist, Donahue is silent until he comes out and attacks the people who are criticizing Limbaugh.

  16. P.J. says:

    At least we get a distraction from that war on xmas.

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