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June 15, 2021

Headlines:

Whiny Sullivan Operative Must Work in Hellhole

Outside Republican Sullivan operatives haven’t quite figured out how the internets work.

Senate candidate Dan Sullivan is having a hard time convincing people he’s from Alaska. Most of his contributions are from Ohio, because… well, he’s from Ohio. And while he may be sticking around Alaska long enough to try to get a Senate job in DC, some of his campaigners can’t wait to get out of this godforsaken hellhole populated by dumb rubes.

(Psst! Hey, “RepublicanPolitico,” we can hear you!)

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Yes, Sullivan’s guns for hire pulled field programs in October because of the weather. Nahhh… nobody does any field work in rural areas. It’s all phones. Unless, of course, the people who live in those rural areas are already working for you because they think you did a good job. May I point RepublicanPolitico to the Washington Post:

Jackie Cleveland is a third-generation resident of Quinhagak, a coastal village of 700 so remote that no roads lead to this bleak patch of frigid tundra. Cleveland and the other Alaska Natives here speak the indigenous language Yup’ik, brave unforgiving winds along the Bering Sea and proudly hunt, fish and gather their own food.

On the gravel lanes and mucky yards of Quinhagak, this fall’s urgent fight for control of the U.S. Senate feels a world away. Yet this is where you’ll find Cleveland, 35, stepping into one living room after another to register her neighbors to vote and make the case for Begich.

Cleveland is part of Begich’s secret weapon: an expensive, sophisticated political field operation that reaches into tiny villages along rivers and in mountain ranges throughout the vast Last Frontier. The Begich ground game — which the senator and his campaign detailed for the first time to The Washington Post — is on a scale far beyond anything that has been tried here before.

Gee, I hope people don’t stay home from the polls because it’s chilly.

But let’s hear more about how hard your job is. (cue sad violin)

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Someone call the waaaambulance and give that poor boy a rain coat. It’s cold and wet and he has a sad because nobody cares about FSU, and the women folk are hardier than whiny Sullivan field operatives. And also they’re all dumb and have substandard chicken wings, and I wanna go hooooome because I’m a delicate flower!

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We’re sorry you got stuck working on such a crappy campaign. You would have felt better if Dan Sullivan had run in Ohio or Maryland like he probably should have. And I know it feels good to get this off your chest, and we’re all just a bunch of backwoods hicks, but I’m just gonna have to be the one to break it to you… We know how to use the internet. (^^We can see that!)

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Whew, at least RepublicanPolitico got to the progressive stronghold of the state. Anything’s better than that reliably conservative cultural wasteland of the Kenai Peninsula.

Chin up precious snowflake, soon this will all be over and you can go back to civilization where it’s cool to dress up like an assassinated President for Halloween, and you don’t have to think about LAYERS… omg.

Please feel free to take your candidate with you when you go.

gopsinking

Help, help! There’s water falling from the sky!!!

 

Comments

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Comments
7 Responses to “Whiny Sullivan Operative Must Work in Hellhole”
  1. Alaska Pi says:

    somebody wanna tell me what kinda doof comes to Alaska and wants to do suit, flag pin, gunshot wound ?
    WTH?
    it maybe, just might maybe , fly in ANC and prolly would during session here in JNU , but, jeez anywhere else unless it is a wedding or a funeral? (and most of those events aren’t “suit” occasions here either)

  2. Krubozumo Nyankoye says:

    How my comment got ahead of MFI’s comment I cannot fathom Much of what I say there is referential to his comment.

  3. Krubozumo Nyankoye says:

    I certainly can’t identify much with Alaskans having never spent any time there except for one brief visit to the island of Sitkinak which I don’t even count as a visit. More like a touch and go. Long backstory there….

    I can understand why people who have lived most of their lives or even a part of their lives might resent someone who comes from a completely different environment and milieu asking to become their elected representative in the Senate of the U.S. The question becomes more one of do they have sufficient animus to take the trouble to vote for the alternative or will they simply scorn the whole process and perhaps allow a small minority to make the choice for them? That happens all too often.

    It is a puzzlement. But in a way it is not surprising. To begin with people are not well informed about how their government actually functions and what information they do receive is often selective because they acquire it in a passive way. In the simplest terms they are misinformed or uninformed.

    In the face of such a deficit of understanding it does not really seem effective to simply say ‘he’s not from here’. So though the ‘outisder’ theme no doubt has resonance and rings a bell for most Alaskans, that does not mean it will motivate them to take positive action to thwart the ambition of an Ohio conservative to represent the interests of Alaskans in the U..S. Senate. Alaskans have lived for decades with one congressman who may be a ‘native’ but is also a laughing stock to everyone except those for whom he has consistently delivered the required ‘favors’.

    Alaska is also a ‘small’ state in terms of population. So if you factor everything together, the small population, the limited interest in the larger world, you could call it insularity attributed to exceptionalism.,
    and the overall difficulty of getting a majority of the perhaps apathetic majority to oppose the majority of an active and reactive minority, well then you have an election that looks like a tossup.

    This is not to mention of course the fact that more than a few recent elections in Alaska featured some rather sketchy antics. For the most part Alaskans seemed to shrug their shoulders and perhaps think to themselves, well that’s the way it works. If you plugged in an appliance and found that it caused one or two wall outlets to melt and burst into flame would you associate the two events? Running a fair and honest election is not even apprentice level electrical competence.

    My analogy fails if I try to expand upon it but it does make one point. Anything that smells like spoiled fish is probably a fire. . Just having to explain it causes it to fail.

    Good luck to all in the upcoming elections, all that are that is progressive, liberal, socialist, heathens. In other words, normal people.

    It is becoming summer here, but it makes no real difference except that it has been dryer than usual so far. I am better adapted to a climate with weather that does not change much seasonally.

    I have gone on too long as usual. The truth is I am avoiding work. Perhaps some day I will tell a story here about my little yellow books.

  4. Mo says:

    It’s pelting icy rain and blowing 30 knots in Juneau right now. Heh.

    RepubPolitico is no doubt snug inside, doing lines with some offspring of the Corrupt Bastards Club.

  5. mike from iowa says:

    When Begich wins,it will be time to gather pitchforks and torches to light up Sullivan’s egress and hasten his carpetbagging ass back to Cleveland or Maryland or where ever. There can be only one-Native Son and his name isn’t Sullivan.

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