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Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Palin for President? Oh please, oh please, oh please…


Like a bear being wakened from a long winter’s nap, so have I been roused from another project to return to these pages. Was it the warm southern breezes and the promise of a new spring that brought me out of my cave and into the sunlight? No, it was not.

It was more like the sound of screeching aluminum right before it succumbs to metal fatigue… kind of a high-pitched squeal that hits you right where the base of the skull connects with the spine. I refer, of course, to Sarah Palin making an announcement.

According to The Washington Post, Palin has publicly stated that she is “very interested” in a 2016 run for the White House. No, not like a 5k, or a half-marathon. The other kind. The kind of run that, if successful, would make her new office space oval-shaped, instead of a cavernous, echo-ey, airplane hangar sound stage with a fake stone fireplace on Lake Lucille in Wasilla.

Of course, however tempting it may be to envision our new President in platform flag shoes giving a press conference in the Rose Garden, while shirtless drunken First Son Track and his backward-capped buddies flip off the press pool, and First Daughter Bristol punches a DC Bureau Chief in the face, we all know it’s not going to happen. Why?

Remember back in November of 2008, after the election, when all the serious political pundits ruminated on the Sunday talk shows that what Governor Palin needed to do now was go back to Alaska, do good work in Juneau, and really bone up on her foreign policy? Then, they opined, she could be a serious contender for the Presidency. And then remember how all of us in Alaska just laughed, and laughed? That’s why.

In speaking about her potential White House bid, Palin said, “It is a significant step, of course, for anyone to publicly announce that they’re interested. Who wouldn’t be interested? Who wouldn’t be interested when they have been blessed with opportunities to speak about what is important to this country and for this country?”

Yeah, who wouldn’t be interested? Let’s not limit this to people with “qualifications,” or intellectual curiosity, or diplomacy skills. If you’ve been blessed with a platform to speak, then Hellz yeah! Why wouldn’t you run for the highest political office in the land? As deeply flawed and horrifying as this take on American politics is, I hope it’s true in her case. I mean, what blogger wouldn’t want her to run when they have been blessed with opportunities to write about politics?

“I’m really interested in the opportunity to serve at some point,” she stated. And is now that “some point?” Well, she has finished “writing” her “autobiography,” and she’s assembled a book of America quotes interspersed with truth-optional home spun commentary, and another one about the meaning of Christmas and how the Godless, librul, San Franciscan, atheist, Birkenstock-wearing, dog-sweater-knitting, public-radio-listening politically correct heathens are trying to destroy the meaning of the holiday by putting “Season’s Greetings” signs over the endless aisles of plastic crap made in China at the local Wal-Mart. So maybe she has enough time now that she’s gotten these vital projects out of the way.

Or it may be that SarahPAC needs another infusion of cash from the wide-eyed true believers who decided they liked her spunk at the 2008 convention, and haven’t been keeping tabs on her since.

Whatever the reason, it can’t be anything but good. Imagine the Daily Show if nothing else. We get all the entertainment, and none of the risk of actual office holding.

Do it, Ex-half-governor! Throw that American flag-bedazzled pink baseball cap in the ring. Do it for a weary nation.



38 Responses to “Palin for President? Oh please, oh please, oh please…”
  1. yukonbushgrma says:

    Maybe just slightly off-topic here, but —

    I am totally tired of the whole primary process. Good grief, we start how early? — 1.5 years? Can you imagine how much money those PACs collect in that time? and what Citizens United did to promote that? ugh.

    I know of some folks who change their party registration so they can vote in the primary for the expected loser in the other party. Does that make sense?

    Why should Iowa or New Hampshire mean any more than Alaska? Why should certain states “vet” the candidates? Someone please explain that to me.

    Why not hold ALL of the primaries on the same day? Give everyone an equal chance, and equal time, to campaign. LIMIT the campaigning time. I believe that’s how it’s done in Canada — I’ve been told, but haven’t checked it out.

    And for goodness’ sake, LIMIT what they can take in, and what they can spend!

    ONE national primary election, ONE presidential election. Done. Cost = a lot less. Advantage to US people = priceless.

    I haven’t been around for a long time, but I do lurk periodically. Nice to see some of my old friends here still!

    • yukonbushgrma says:

      Oh yeah, one more rant:

      Pullllleeeeeze stop sending me those disgustingly glossy, expensive-looking campaign mailers at least once a week for at least a couple months prior to any election!

      I will just throw them away — no matter which party you are from.

      What a waste.

    • mike from iowa says:

      Yeah,but,tell us how you rilly feel. Don’t hold back. Most of us are adults. iowa gets the first carcass of the season just because we have straw for straw polls.and wingnuts are gullible enuf to pay for votes in said straw polls.

  2. yukonbushgrma says:

    Read the WaPo stories about SP in Iowa …… wow, comments pretty brutal — but well deserved!

    Aside from everything you all have mentioned, there was one tiny thing I thought was interesting. Apparently SP followed up Carly Fiorina, who is pretty well-respected, well-spoken, and certainly a black-and-white (nothing racial intended) comparison to Palin.

    Then Palin makes some statement about a sign on the Oval Office door that says “no girls allowed,” and a reference from Margaret Thatcher that it’s the women who “get things done.”

    Hmmmmm …. was Palin’s speech just a pre-endorsement for Fiorina?

  3. Dagian says:

    Yes, this is four months old. It still amuses me because I bet it’s a big part of why she’s “seriously interested” in becoming a presidential candidate. Hahahaha.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    Shane Holt,you chauvinist. You treat your hand like your wash machine,don’t you? Not even a hug after you dump a load in it. Tsk,tsk,tsk!

  5. mike from iowa says:

    Of what use is the Oval Office w/o a car elevator to smash Red Bull cans for recycling?

  6. Alaska Cod Piece says:

    The fabulous Ana Marie Cox has a must see write up at the Daily Beast. She also has $creech’s entire ‘speech’ transcribed on Tumbler. Google both.

    I believe the IA debacle will be a final nail in the half term, half wit’s coffin. Watch the stories start to spill as the hateful hypocrite circles the drain…

  7. Winski says:

    Ah, yee of such skepticism for such a young, whipper-snapper, yee are!! Just think, Mudflats could actually write itself for the next two years !!

    Hope U R well… W

    • Alaska Pi says:

      well, dang.
      If she comes out of the chute that messed up we won’t have her to kick around for very long at all… dang

      • Dagian says:

        Please don’t underestimate the loyal following who may write her name in on the ballot ticket. There is still a chance that it will happen.

        I still think she would decline due to the public’s expectation of releasing tax returns. I will admit to really wanting to know what percentage of her family’s gross salary is donated to charity and which ones. I’m being generous today by even considering the possibility of donating to more than one, rather than solely to herself.

        • mike from iowa says:

          She profits from the unwritten law that it is better to give than to receive-you give,she receives. End of story. People still give her money for inexplicable reasons. She gladly takes.

          As for the Oval Office,what type/color drapes go with a tanning bed and Red Bull dispenser? Anyone know?

        • yukonbushgrma says:

          Dagian, you make a good point; however, the whole Citizens United decision has created a whole new universe when it comes to campaign financing. If she has a good accountant and lawyer, it’s very possible that they’ve done everything ‘by the book’ (HA!). And that she actually could pass the test ……… sad to say.

          But I’m sure hoping NOT.

  8. aussiebluesky says:

    At least we’ll always have YouTube.

  9. juneaudream says:

    Not that wins a ..grand-slam..of a this will be. Oh PLEEEZZE .Sarah ‘.Baby Cakes’..Palin run..Run RUN!!!

  10. Dagian says:

    She won’t do it. It would be expected that she would release at least some of her tax returns. Laying bare for the world to see her gross income, charitable contributions and her tax rate. It’s more likely that she will agree to be photographed nude.

  11. Liz says:

    It’s all about keeping her name in the news. She’s an attention whore plain and simple.

  12. Zyxomma says:

    Sarah who?

  13. RipleyInCT says:

    All I can say is “Thank you” to all the Americans who were motivated by this trainwreck of a woman to get out and vote in 2008, ensuring that we would never have to utter the words “Vice President Palin”, or heaven forbid, “President Palin”, in the event ol’ Gramps McCain bit the big one in office.

    Let her speak. Let her continue to endorse murder fantasies without actually holding the weapon (see: “FU Michael Moore” sign) Let her continue to present herself to the public at large in events broadcast far and wide. And let us all make sure the GOP cannot distance themselves from her. Keep calling her the GOP darling. They made her. They can be the ones to throw her overboard.

  14. Mike D says:

    Palin appeals to a segment of society that embraces folksy sayings, shooting from the hip, and a lack of erudition
    as leadership qualities, mistakenly believing America is need of another president with the ability to look into the souls of others in order to discern truth. America’s infatuation with Palin began with her looks and her amiable personality, something few discuss to avoid sounding sexist. Once beyond those qualities, the hard questions about intellect and her knowledge of all things important increasingly became a focus of attention. That she was not well-read (if read at all), appealed to folks who had never read a book and were proud of it. Sure, she upped her game by getting a few briefings, crib notes, and an earpiece, none of which made her presidential. Should she run for a house or senate seat from Alaska, she might possibly succeed. As for a possible shot at the White House or another at the vice-presidency, that bird has flown.

    • yukonbushgrma says:

      MikeD, I’m an Alaskan, and I truly hope the citizens of my state are smarter than to even THINK of electing her to the House or Senate. Yeah, she might try, but I wouldn’t predict the best results. At least that’s my hope.

  15. mike from iowa says:

    Need to dredge the reflecting pool for Tawd’s fishing boat and build a landing strip where Marine1 lands for Tawd’s airplane. The Rose Garden would suffice for drunken brawls. Camp David could prolly hold a few caribou and moosies for Snookie to blast away at. Then there’s that 14 foot wall that needs to be built around the premises to keep wingnuts from gawking at her heinie in her bikini mowing the grass.

    Glad to know you are still among the living Ms Jeanne. I’ll be patiently waiting(and hoping) for beaucoup stick figure Snookies if she decides to run or not. No one does them like you do. Even the stick crustiness on her highness looks real.

  16. Pete Wilson says:

    LOL! Oh Jeanne… I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears in my eyes! I LOVE the way you not-so-subtly slam our favorite Alaskan idiot!

  17. Alaska Pi says:

    Holy moley! We could have whatzername to kick around again?!
    Then we rilly could have a thread called the Wandering Tattler here- for all the posts exposing whatzername’s horsepunky

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