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May 15, 2021

Someone Doesn’t Like Us & We’re Cool With That

Alaska’s premier morality cop Jim Minnery of Alaska Family Action doesn’t like us very much. Nor does he like the Alaska Constitution, apparently. When he’s not busy obsessing about what women do with their constitutional rights and their personal medical decisions, he’s busy obsessing about who is fornicating with and marrying whom. The continual ruminations about what other people are doing with their private parts must be exhausting. Republican Gov. Sean Parnell is lagging in the polls. You remember him, right? He’s the one who rejected additional funds for Denali Kid Care (SCHIP), to provide medical care to low-income pregnant women and children because… it might…

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Nate Silver Calls It For Walker-Mallott

…in a squeaker. The 538 electoral modeling math nerd king was the undisputed champion of the 2012 cycle, correctly predicting 49 of 50 states (and only missing Indiana by 0.1%) While much national punditry is focused on the battle for the US Senate, last night Silver released his model for the 2014 gubernatorial cycle. Projecting Walker-Mallott ahead by a narrow 0.8 percent, Silver gives the Unity Ticket a 56% chance of winning the race. For Mudflatters around the Lower 48, Silver’s model is a mixed bag. Democrats are projected to flip the governorships of Maine, Florida, Kansas and Pennsylvania into…

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Alaska Girls Kick Ass & Midterms Matter

If you live in Alaska, you’ve seen that bumper sticker a hundred times if you’ve seen it once. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it when I arrived in the Great Land. As the years passed, I did things I’d never have done if I had stayed in east coast suburbia. I camped in bear country, and wolf country; I sailed in high seas in the Gulf of Alaska; traversed mountain passes with a baby on my back; almost tumbled into a gorge on a 3-wheeler; pulled up my share of halibut from the deep sea; had Thanksgiving in…

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More Caption Winners!

Congressman Don Young, a boat, a cigar, a shotgun… a panda. We asked you to caption this unbelievably non-photoshopped image and you didn’t disappoint.

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Winners! Don Young Caption Contest

Your meme magic has astounded even us, Mudflatters! When presented with this picture of longest sitting member of the House of Representatives Don Young, with a cigar, a shotgun, and rubber panda guy, you stepped up. There are but seven days until the election, and to help you keep your sanity and sense of humor, we will dole out two a day, for a total of the 14 best meme ideas. Think of it like a brief, and extremely insane political advent calendar, only instead of a chocolate treat you get Don Young. Ok, bad analogy. Here are today’s two…

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We Must Retire Don Young, and Here’s Why

I was about 10 when I heard a sermon I will never forget. The speaker that day drew a few gasps from the congregation of the Homer Christian Church when he disagreed with a passage from the Bible. He quoted from 1 Corinthians, Ch. 13, the passage you often hear at weddings: “Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is love.” “That’s not true,” he said. “The greatest of these is hope.” He explained that his father had committed suicide. There was no shortage of love in their family. His father had simply lost hope that the pain of…

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Don Young, Corruption and the DOJ

According to Roll Call a Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) investigation into Alaska’s lone-gunman Congressman will cost the taxpayers over $86k. It all started with the infamous “Coconut Road Corruption Investigation” – or really the lack of the release of documents pertaining to the investigation that will end forcing the DOJ to pay CREW for legal fees. You can get a little refresher on the Coconut Road debacle HERE. It’s still mind blowing. “[Judge] Kessler concluded that DOJ’s conduct in withholding documents from CREW was “unreasonable.” On Monday, she ordered the federal government to repay CREW’s $86,076.20…

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EXCLUSIVE Don Young Caption Contest

  Of course it’s EXCLUSIVE. You think just anyone gets their mitts on a photo of the longest serving member of Congress smoking a cigar on a boat, seemingly about to menace a rubber panda man with a shotgun? And yes. This is real. It was taken this summer, and there is no photoshopping. Let’s be serious. If we were going to make up a photo with Don Young in it, even we wouldn’t have come up with this.  And now… it’s all yours. Leave your caption in the comments, and we’ll meme the best ones.

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Obama!

Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…

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Young Now Blames Fed Largesse for Suicide

  Alaska’s lone congressman sure dug himself into a hole yesterday, didn’t he? And you know what they say. Since you’re in there anyway, you may as well just keep digging. At first it appeared as though Young may have been repentant about telling grieving high school students who had just lost a friend and classmate to suicide that the problem was the lack of support from family and friends. Matt Shuckerow responded to a request from the Alaska Dispatch News in an email stating: “Congressman Young was very serious and forthright when discussing the issue of suicide, in part because of the…

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