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March 28, 2024

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No Time for Tuckerman -

Thursday, August 3, 2023

The Quitter Returns! -

Monday, March 21, 2022

Putting the goober in gubernatorial -

Friday, January 28, 2022

Palin Proves Cheney’s “Mistake” Comment

Sarah Palin has responded to former Vice President Dick Cheney’s assertion that John McCain made a “mistake” by selecting her as his running mate in 2012. In an interview with Greta Van Susteren, Palin had this to say, thereby validating Mr. Cheney’s point, and proving the veracity of that old adage – “Better to be silent and thought a “mistake” than to speak and remove all doubt.” …or something like that. “Well, seeing’s how Dick — excuse me, Vice President uh Cheney — never misfires, (enormous eye roll) then evidently he’s quite convinced that what he had uh evidently read…

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Palin Hurls Self Into Spotlight. Again.

First I wrote about her to inform people. Then I wrote about her because she was a hilarious political train wreck. Then I wrote about her because she annoyed me. Then I started writing about her because she really made me mad. Then I ignored her. All of these actions shared the same unfortunate result. She did not go away. Well, she went away from Alaska, this is true. She said she did it for us. She’d be better able to work for Alaska from Outside, she said. Maybe while she’s out there, she can also find the “real killers.”…

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The Wrath of Captain Zero

Well, somebody’s still mad. After he didn’t get his way during the legislative session, he broke his crayons and went home. After Governor Sean Parnell’s embarrassingly botched special session that cost Alaskans upwards of $30,000 a day, in which his woefully underprepared administration tried in vain to get the Alaska Senate to green light his second $2 billion dollar a year, no-strings-attached, prezzie to the oil companies, he’s now got another plan. Revenge. It didn’t register with the governor that Alaskans actually didn’t like his oil tax plan. They didn’t like the idea of moving $10 billion over the next…

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Oh. My. Todd. Palin to Appear on Game Show.

(Please let this be photoshopped) Alaska’s former First Dude, Todd Palin, has been trying to get his own TV show for some time now. It may surprise you, but he has not met with success thus far. His wife, of course, tormented us all with pretending to “shoot a gun” on a caribou hunt, pretending to “climb a dangerous mountain,” float past a dangerous bear, and show that she is better suited for camping in the rain than city girl celebrities with dozens of children in tow – also known as “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” His daughter Bristol even has her…

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Parnell’s Contemptible Appointment

In a recess appointment, Governor Sean Parnell has named Dianne Blumer to be Alaska’s new Labor Commissioner. Always interested in Parnell appointments to such important jobs, I checked her facebook page. Ah…ironic on the day Facebook went public, Mrs. Blumer hasn’t figured out her privacy settings. See, her facebook is listed under “Dianne Kiesel-Blumer”. Kiesel, Kiesel, Kiesel…why does that name sound familiar? Oh, that’s right, the pre-married Dianne Kiesel was found in contempt by the Alaska State Senate for ignoring subpoenas during the Senate’s Troopergate Investigation. She wasn’t alone. Todd Palin and eight other state employees had the same finding….

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Levi Johnston Names Second Baby After Gun

We’d like to take a break from the trivial, frivolous matter of election integrity to delve deeply into a critical piece of developing news… Levi Johnston, the ex-fiance and baby daddy of former Dancing With the Stars celebrity Bristol Palin, and also former ex-almost-son-in-law of the former ex-half-governor and former-almost-second-in-command of these here United States, has gotten his current girlfriend Sunny Oglesby in the family way. Once again, the miracle of life began for Johnston on a camping trip, and once again, the pregnancy was unplanned. We do not know if wine coolers were involved this time. “We were out…

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Quitter 2.0 – Parnell Breaks Hockey Stick, Says ‘Puck You.’

    And the crowd goes wild! Remember when I compared the Resources Committee meeting of the State Senate to a hockey game, and said I thought that they ought to have a rule just like in the peewee leagues, where when one team is like 20 points up they just call the game so the other side can slink away and lick their wounds instead of continuing to endure the public humiliation? Well, guess what? Even though that rule doesn’t exist, Bryan Butcher, Bruce Tangeman, and Co. have been recalled back to the locker room. That’s right – Parnell’s…

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WAR Defends Ted Nugent for Illegally Hunting Bear in Alaska

*sniff* I’m sorry… I just get all choked up hearing Ted Nugent talk about the mystical circle of existence, and how nature is in balance, and how the Palins and all the good people of Alaska live off the land as God intended, and how when we kill stuff, we’re all joined together in this interconnected web of the miracle that is life, and… Wait. What? Activist and musician Ted Nugent has signed a plea agreement with federal prosecutors admitting he took an illegally shot black bear in Southeast Alaska two years ago, according to the agreement. Ted Nugent? A…

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Parnell Nominee to Board of Game Rejected by Legislature

Nominee to Alaska’s Board of Game, Lynn Keogh, was rejected Tuesday by the Legislature. He had the support of Governor Sean Parnell, and of the powerful Alaska Outdoor Council hunting lobby. He needed 31 votes to retain his appointment. He got 29. As reported earlier in the week, an email obtained by The Mudflats showed Republican Party Chair Randy Ruedrich forwarding an email from  Rod Arno of the Alaska Outdoor Council threatening legislators with strong-arm tactics if they didn’t approve Keogh’s appointment to the Board of Game. From: Randy Ruedrich <xxxxxx@gci.net> Date: March 30, 2012 8:09:07 AM AKDT To:  <xxxxxx@kpunet.net>, <xxxxxx@gci.net>,  <xxxxxx@hotmail.com> Subject: Anti’s go…

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The Hoodie of the North…

A friend of mine recently passed through the Anchorage International airport and was asked to remove his hoodie. The thuggish and menacing hoodie, which has been the subject of tragedy and controversy, is apparently also all the rage with terrorists in the air. This particular hoodie had no zippers or grommets, and the pockets were empty. “What if I hadn’t had anything on underneath?” he grumbled. And I thought, what if it was me, and I didn’t have anything on underneath? This was distinctly possible. If you were to place a bet, at any given moment in time, I’m more likely…

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