My Twitter Feed

June 24, 2021

Headlines:

What Febreze is Not Telling You

Febreeze, the product whose mission is to remove offensive odors from air and fabric, offers its products in a variety of sensual and indulgent fragrances like Sweet Citrus & Zest, Mediterranean Lavender, and Apple Spice & Comfort. Mmmmm. And now, there’s a new offering to delight your sniffer. “Alaskan Springtime” probably sounded good in some marketing meeting in a conference room at Proctor & Gamble headquarters in Cincinnati. “Alaska… That’s clean and refreshing, right?  Slap a picture of an Alpine dogwood on that can, and we’re good to go.” Voilà – “Alaskan Springtime,” or if you’re fancy, or Canadian, “Printemps…

Read More

Troll of the Week!

What used to be The Troll of the Week has become more of the Occasional Once-in-a-while Troll. The trolls we’ve been seeing around the Mudflats lately have been of the Common Troll variety. We’ve done a pretty good job over the years with troll-control, and have rid the flats of the most pernicious pests. So, generally, I’ll hear some little scuffling about in the back room, find a little troll, grab him by the ankles, and unceremoniously fling him out the mudroom door. They make a graceful arc, accompanied by a bit of a burbling scream that sounds something like…

Read More

Poke’s on You!

Look! We got a poke suggestion from Facebook. This is not photoshopped, we promise. It’s Rep. Lindsey Holmes (D—>R – Anchorage)!  May it be in the virtual eye?  

Read More

Sen. Backpedals About Alaska’s Dimwit Voters

There’s backpedaling, and then there’s Backpedaling. Sen. Lesil McGuire (R), my friends, is a double-down Backpedaler. It’s actually quite impressive. It’s almost… what’s the word I’m looking for… “Palinesque.” With the current legislature out of touch with actual Alaskans on so many issues, it’s a skill the majority of Republicans are going to have to master. House Majority Leader Lance Pruitt, and Speaker of the House Mike Chenault have already backpedaled to varying degrees that they laughed out loud at the thought of legal same-sex partnerships, despite the fact 70% of Alaskans think it should happen. This time it’s about…

Read More

Alaskans Gone Wild – Say No to Frankenfish!

(Insert Jaws theme here) The Frankenfish is coming!  Unless we all speak up… The push to introduce a genetically-modified, farmed Atlantic-Pacific-Salmon-Eel hybrid into the marketplace continues, but we have time to stop it. Alaska’s entire congressional delegation is all on our side on this one, so no excuse to call it a “partisan political issue.” This is about Alaska’s greatest sustainable treasure, our wild and wonderful salmon. The FDA has already issued a draft Environmental Assessment with a finding that genetically modified Atlantic salmon caused no significant environmental impact. Really? Sorry, FDA. Alaskans are smarter than that. We know that contamination…

Read More

Rep. Lindsay Holmes Switches Parties

Who’s that in the portrait you ask? Well, let me get my glasses.  It’s either Benedict Arnold or State Rep. Lindsey Holmes – it’s kind of hard to tell. Lindsey Holmes, you see, was just elected in November in a strong Democratic district (one of the few in Alaska). She was elected as a Democrat, by mostly Democrats, to BE a Democrat. But she decided that after she’d begged for money from Democrats, denied another actual Democrat (whose color doesn’t run) a chance at the seat, and got ELECTED as a Democrat… that she’d just rather be a Republican. Yes,…

Read More

Frankenfish or Cut Bait

When Barack Obama was campaigning in 2007, he said something that I’d been yearning to hear from a politician. He vowed, as president, he would strive to “let folks know when their food is genetically modified because Americans have a right to know what they’re buying.” I realize the difference between campaigning and being president is much like the difference between dating and being married — but that seemed like a pretty solid statement. Europe has required all foods containing ingredients genetically modified to be labeled since 1997. Fifty countries, including China and Russia, require food manufacturers to label GMOs….

Read More

Twinkie’s Last Stand?

The last Twinkie rolled off the Hostess assembly line this past Friday after labor negotiations broke down, resulting in a work stoppage by the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers Union which affected nearly two-thirds of Hostess’s factories across the country. Hostess responded by closing up shop on three factories and giving the workers until Thursday to return to work. It didn’t happen. The company is blaming the union saying that they can’t afford to keep going. The union is blaming the company and poor financial and operational management, noting that there were some pretty sweet pay increases for…

Read More

WAR Defends Ted Nugent for Illegally Hunting Bear in Alaska

*sniff* I’m sorry… I just get all choked up hearing Ted Nugent talk about the mystical circle of existence, and how nature is in balance, and how the Palins and all the good people of Alaska live off the land as God intended, and how when we kill stuff, we’re all joined together in this interconnected web of the miracle that is life, and… Wait. What? Activist and musician Ted Nugent has signed a plea agreement with federal prosecutors admitting he took an illegally shot black bear in Southeast Alaska two years ago, according to the agreement. Ted Nugent? A…

Read More

Mouth to Snout to Finish Line – The Best Iditarod Story Ever.

The Iditarod sled dog race is officially over. The last musher reached Nome in the wee hours of this morning, and got the traditional “red lantern award.” There are always great Iditarod stories, but this year had one of the best ever. Was it Dallas Seavey being the youngest winner ever? Pfft. No. Martin and Rohn Buser – father and son – crossing in a photo finish? Nice, but nuh-uh. The best story belonged to the 39th place finisher Scott Janssen, better known to all as the “mushing mortician.” Here is his bio: Scott Janssen, the “Mushing Mortician,” 50, was…

Read More