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May 18, 2021

BREAKING: Conoco Rakes in Your Money

ConocoPhillips makes a lot of money. This seems like an obvious statement, but its one that Governor Sean Parnell, and his oily ilk in the Alaska legislature are hoping you and everyone you know will forget when it comes time to vote on the repeal of SB21. So they run around with their hair on fire yelling things like “Incentivize production!” and “It’s complicated!” and tell us that if we don’t start sobbing and throwing cash at the big 3 oil producers, and if we repeal SB21, well… they’re going to leave us for someone else like Libya or North…

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Torches and Pitchforks for Parnell

There are certain times when a government crosses a line, and there’s really no other way to adequately express one’s feelings about it than by deploying torches and pitchforks. The glinting of the tines in the firelight, the surging of the crowd, the bellowing of moral outrage… Ahhh. There’s really nothing like it to get the ol’ blood pumping. Well, I guess there is another way, but I’m reasonably sure it’s illegal, and though it might be satisfying the irony of retaliating against a bully by tarring and feathering him could not be overlooked, and might garner said bully some…

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Parnell Gets Fish Slapped

When one grapples for a visual allegory of what happened to the Parnell administration this week, it’s hard to think of anything more appropriate than this: That’s Sean Parnell on the right, and the Anchorage Superior Court on the left. The Superior Court ruled that the constitutional rights of Alaskans have been violated by the current administration when Parnell & Co. refused to process a four-year-old application to reserve water in the Chuitna River watershed for wild salmon. “Today’s ruling is a victory for every Alaskan who wants to protect wild salmon and the Alaskan way of life,” said Ron…

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Sullivan Joins GOP Senate Cannibal Circus

Today, Dan Sullivan (R) announced his run for the U.S. Senate. This particular Mr. Sullivan has the misfortune to share his name with: 1) The weasly, morally bankrupt Mayor of Anchorage 2) The man who started the great Chicago fire of 1871, and let Mrs. O’Leary’s cow take the blame. He also holds the distinction of being the third candidate on the Republican side to be seeking the office currently held by Democrat Mark Begich. Sullivan and current Lt. Governor Mead Treadwell are expected to split the “sanity vote” (although that distinction is subjective), while former and current candidate Joe…

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Inconvenient Private Sector Jobs

Time to don your rain ponchos, because Republican heads are going to be exploding across the state. This is one of those times when philosophy and reality are on opposite sides, and the confused elephant brains of the majority of the GOP in Alaska are going to have to out themselves, or change sides. Ah, another inconvenient truth. ” Ready? Guess what industry is the largest private sector employer in the State of Alaska? Oil? <<<HOCKEY BUZZER NOISE>>> Mining? <<<REPEAT ABOVE>>> Nope, it’s fish. A recent report issued from the McDowell Group for the Alaska Seafood Marketing Institute reveals: The…

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Do Alaskans Like Fish More than Pot?

Me: Hey, Alaska! Alaska: WHAT? We’re busy fishing. Me: Just a couple quick questions… you can keep your line in the water. Alaska: Make it fast, the silvers are running. I don’t want to get distracted. Me: Would you rather have more money in the coffers of the state, or make sure you always have fish? Alaska: Fish. Me: Would you rather have people earning more money and boosting the economy, or make sure people can earn a living fishing. Alaska: Fishing. Me: Would you rather smoke pot, or salmon? Alaska: I can’t do both? Me: No. Alaska: OK, salmon….

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Salmon: Feel the Love, Have the Party

I fell completely in love with an ad campaign. I know. Between the halibut haters at Domino’s and “The Salmon Project,” I should have whiplash. The campaign is brilliant. It’s got a fantastic kiss mark with a salmon in it! If I were a tattoo girl, that would be my pick. It’s genius. Salmon is more than something on a plate — it’s a lifestyle.   I first noticed all this when I stopped to get supplies at the Seward Safeway on the way to my very own salmon project: Operation “Acrobatic Coho!” (Mission accomplished. Thanks for asking!) Even if…

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Parnell & Crew “Summit” Mt. Hypocrisy

Two weeks ago I wrote about the upcoming, state-sponsored “Federal Overreach Summit.” Well, Alaska, they dug to the bottom of the barrel and managed to make a meeting of it — trotting out all the usual tea party nonsense about how tapping Alaska resources without having to answer to the feds on environmental issues is the embodiment of democracy. But this summit wasn’t just a pathway to pillaging resources. It was a dog-whistle concert for every wing nut they could get in the door. The governor’s policy director, Randy Ruaro, said there had been a funding request for “proactive science.”…

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Walker/Wielechowski – Right for Alaska

We like Sen. Hollis French, and respect him. He’s been an outstanding legislator. We think he’d make a good governor, and have donated to and voted for him in the past. Our issue with the senator’s contemplation of another gubernatorial run is not the candidate, but the fact that the candidate cannot and will not be elected governor. The problem is math. Sen. French retained his own state senate seat in his newly drawn district by the skin of his teeth. The statewide political terrain is far less friendly to him than West Anchorage. The far right made French the…

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Gov Parnell Smacks Down Feds

Yesterday, a “Federal Overreach Summit” began in Anchorage. For two days, lawmakers and administration officials will gripe about the “feds” and what is described as intrusion into Alaska’s affairs. But the federal overreach discussed on the first day of the summit didn’t touch on Stand Your Ground law, or issues of reproductive choice, or gay marriage, or even voting rights which have been so much in the news as of late. This federal overreach is quite specific, and gets to the heart of what this administration considers important. It’s all about land use and resource extraction. A Department of Natural…

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