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October 27, 2021

Headlines:

Krazy Kampaign Lit Alert!

  Joe Miller is running for U.S. Senate again. And in Alaska, it’s a 3-way scramble to the right to woo the hard-core conservative primary voter. Miller, Mead Treadwell, and Dan Sullivan have all been trying to outdo each other in their attempt to unseat incumbent Democratic Senator Mark Begich. Above is Miller’s latest piece of campaign literature, mailed to voters. Xenophobic fear mongering and downright silliness aside, (and that’s a BIG aside) let’s follow the message, shall we?  You may need a pith helmet, and a machete to get through the jungle of “logic.” Warning: there’s a cliff at…

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Little Slice of Happy

You’re afraid to even look at the news right now, because assorted horrors from around the globe are all competing for ghastly headlines. So you have to take your happiness, and restore your faith in humanity, wherever you can. Which brings us to the fine, civic-minded residents of Williamson County, Tennessee, near Nashville. It seems former SNL cast member, homophobic Tea Party activist, and batshit insane person Victoria Jackson offered to supply the locals with what would undoubtedly have been some top-notch statecraft on their county commission. Weirdly, the voters declined her generous offer last night. Judy Lynch Herbert: 1,422…

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Sullivan Waffles on Eggs – One of Them May Be Yours.

Back in April, Alaska Republican Senate primary voters got to listen to their three candidates try to figure out who the lifey-est candidate of all actually was. It’s been a gigantic run to the right on pro-life issues by the three men running for the office, each trying to be more hard core than the others. They were asked whether they would support a so-called “personhood bill” called the Life at Conception Act introduced by Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) that defines life as beginning the moment that little swimmer cracks the eggshell. The bottom line of this bill is that it…

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Palin Slams Parnell, Says YES on 1

Former Governor Sarah Palin was likened to Joan of Arc by her followers in her 2006 run for governor. Today she was back in the saddle taking on the “good old boy network,” using her new subscription website to slam the administration of Republican Alaska Governor Sean Parnell (her own former Lt. Gov.), and members of the state legislature (also R) for engaging in crony capitalism, and shilling for Big Oil. She was, as they used to call her, a breath of fresh air. In an 18 minute long address provided to viewers as a free sample of her programming (which costs…

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They Said There Would Be Asians…

I promise that what I’m about to tell you is not from The Onion. There is an Asian Republican Coalition (ARC), and it appears to consist of the run-of-the-mill Republicans that appear on Fox News: silver-haired white men in good suits, flanked by rafts of attractive white women. In order to be “inclusive,” the ARC’s co-chair, Thomas Britt, declared this group is “open to all Americans.” Because they are a generous organization, they will extend their membership to include one Asian—the ARC’s other chair, John Ying. If the organization’s own photos are any indication, its target demographic seems to be “those of us…

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We All Need a Tweditor – Palin Edition

Before we begin: WHY must you continue writing about HER, you demand to know. PLEASE stop giving her attention, you insist. As soon as you pretend she’s not there, she will evaporate into the ether, you delude yourself. I plead guilty to a personal, professional, and morbid fascination with the enduring social and political impact of the trainwreck from Wasilla. Some people are really into sports, or photograph their lunch, or amuse themselves by taking Facebook quizzes to find out what color aura of what punk rock band’s totem animal they are, or other ultimately inconsequential hobbies. And as long as…

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Breaking: America Wants Sarah Palin to STFU

Recently, NBC/Wall Street Journal/Annenberg took a poll.  They asked Americans if they think the ex-half-governor of Alaska, who didn’t become the Vice President of the United States, and who quit her job “governing” to spend the last six years turning gibberish into books, wearing glittery belt buckles, and subsisting on diet Redbull and the tears of the intelligentsia, should be speaking on the issues of the day. A solid majority, 54% of voters, think she should push her lower jaw up until it won’t go any farther, and hold it locked in that position. If this poll were an election, it would…

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Eric Cantor Got “Joe Millered” by Tea Party

Anyone in Alaska watching Tuesday’s primary shocker in Virginia unfold couldn’t help but draw comparisons to the Senate race in 2010. That year, Tea Party candidate Joe Miller set the Republican establishment back on its heels with a victory shocker over incumbent Republican Lisa Murkowski. Democrats scrambled while institutional Republicans, mouths agape, tried to comprehend what had just happened. On Tuesday in Virginia, Dave Brat, an underfunded Tea Party candidate cleaned the clock of the 7-term Republican incumbent House Majority Leader Eric Cantor by double digits. Brat had been predicted to lose by a wide margin. By many accounts Cantor…

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Palin Slams GOP Successor in Alaska

Hey, Alaska! Sarah Palin is back. She left our state’s politics in the dust after quitting office in 2009, but yesterday she returned to her favorite local media platform—The Bob & Mark Radio Show—to slam her successor and one-time Lt. Governor, Republican Sean Parnell. The bone she had to pick with him relates to her signature legislation as governor, Alaska’s Clear and Equitable Share (ACES). The oil tax system that ushered Alaska’s bank account into golden days of plenty, with a savings of more than $17 billion, ACES funded subsequent investments in roads, schools, and critical infrastructure projects. Under ACES,…

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Show Me Your Budget

Show me a political flyer in Alaska and I’ll show you a candidate whose only reason for living is supporting the Permanent Fund and education, and fighting “government waste.” There’s an old saying, “Don’t tell me what you value. Show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” This week we got to see what the Republican majority in the Alaska Senate values. Rest assured, their budget, written by Sen. Pete Kelly, does not value birth control for irresponsible women. In fact, amendments to accept millions in federal funds for family planning — to actually reduce abortions —…

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