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June 14, 2021

Headlines:

Recall Effort Advances

Anchorage State House Representative Lindsey Holmes got one step closer to political oblivion yesterday. She’s the Democrat, elected to serve West Anchorage, one of the most liberal districts in the state, who got to Juneau and went “>>POOF!<< Guess what? I’m a Republican now!” Those who knocked doors, donated money, put up yard signs, and gave their vote to Ms. Holmes were (needless to say) not amused. A group of the unamused decided to do something about it, and fire the nouveau Republican from her job. And that takes a lot of work. Signature gathering of District 19 residents began…

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Parnell Hides Medicaid Study

  Anchorage is the largest city in Alaska. We all know that. But there’s a big community here that often gets overlooked. It encompasses 10,000 more people than the populations of either Fairbanks or Juneau. It has 36,000 more people than Homer. Eighty times the population of Aniak. And who populates this would-be second-largest community in Alaska? The 41,500 uninsured Alaskans who would benefit from a state expansion of Medicaid. Contrary to a popular stereotype, these are not people who loaf and live on the dole. For the most part, they are men and women who work hard for not…

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BREAKING: Conoco Rakes in Your Money

ConocoPhillips makes a lot of money. This seems like an obvious statement, but its one that Governor Sean Parnell, and his oily ilk in the Alaska legislature are hoping you and everyone you know will forget when it comes time to vote on the repeal of SB21. So they run around with their hair on fire yelling things like “Incentivize production!” and “It’s complicated!” and tell us that if we don’t start sobbing and throwing cash at the big 3 oil producers, and if we repeal SB21, well… they’re going to leave us for someone else like Libya or North…

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Three Dans Too Many

An invitation! We got an invitation! And it’s pink and blue and calligraphied all fancy-like! Are Mayor Dan Sullivan and Bill and Michelle Bittner going to have a baby? Are Dan Coffey and his wife Pauline going to get married again? No, wait. It’s an “announcement of great importance to the future of Anchorage.” Wow. Hold on just a second… We’re getting a Red Lobster?     Alas, no to all of the above. Instead, Dan Coffey, the former Assemblyman and Sullivan minion/mancrush, has decided to run for Mayor. Not really that surprising. You may recall Dan Coffey is the…

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The Great GOP Cannibal War of 2013: News from the Front

I return to you breathless, stumbling into camp, clutching a piece of paper. Think of me as your scout, bringing the latest dispatch from the front. I report to you from the Great Cannibal War of 2013-2014, which some of you may know as the Alaska GOP Senate race. General Joe Miller’s’ forces are all in line. They’re hanging around, polishing their buttons, steam ironing their Snake Flags, and running a lint roller over their three-cornered hats. But the other side, the “moderate” side is in disarray. What could have been an easy primary battle, has turned into what the…

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Parnell Tells Jewell, “Call my people.”

Alaska Governor Sean Parnell has earned himself a reputation for not being very assertive, a bit of a pushover if you will. Typically, this criticism comes from the governor’s own party. Even Alaska’s lone Congressman has referred to him as a “zero” on more than one occasion. That, coupled with the fact that it is totally en vogue to bash every facet of the federal government, might explain Governor Parnell’s latest bout of nastygrams sent to federal agencies. Last week, the day prior to the end of the federal government shutdown, Governor Parnell sent Interior Secretary Sally Jewell a letter. The…

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Sullivan Joins GOP Senate Cannibal Circus

Today, Dan Sullivan (R) announced his run for the U.S. Senate. This particular Mr. Sullivan has the misfortune to share his name with: 1) The weasly, morally bankrupt Mayor of Anchorage 2) The man who started the great Chicago fire of 1871, and let Mrs. O’Leary’s cow take the blame. He also holds the distinction of being the third candidate on the Republican side to be seeking the office currently held by Democrat Mark Begich. Sullivan and current Lt. Governor Mead Treadwell are expected to split the “sanity vote” (although that distinction is subjective), while former and current candidate Joe…

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Send Cruz & Co. to North Slope

As we trip along our merry way through the government shut down, and straight toward the Cliffs of Default, the mighty Matt Taibbi has penned his thoughts on the political landscape for Rolling Stone. Having lived in the former Soviet Union for ten years, Taibbi finds himself musing, “What Would Stalin Do?” about the pack of representatives who seem to have come straight from the back of the school bus, to the back bench of Congress. I’m guessing he would have taken Tea Party Sen. Ted Cruz’s caucus members, loaded them onto cattle cars, and relocated them to a piece…

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Virginia Kills Santa

(Washington, DC) — While the government shutdown may currently be the most nationally covered spectacle to emit from this town it is, incredibly, not the most disgusting thing to happen within it. That dubious distinction is reserved for its service as prime media market for the Virginia gubernatorial race. In this corner: Ken Cuccinelli (R) Consumers of progressive media are by now well versed in the Virginia Attorney General’s draconian platform on social issues, and MSNBC’s infotainers have made Cuccinelli a poster child for his party’s most talibanesque tendencies. He’s also a craven lad, as his most recent ad features an African-American…

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Bible-Thumping Reverse Robin Hoods

“The extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:40) In 2011, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R. Minn.) suggested that Hurricane Irene was God telling us that government spending was out of control. Believing the Almighty to be heavily invested in the U.S. budget and despite Christ’s words on charity, little wonder she just voted with 216 of her Republican colleagues in Congress to slash 4 million people and $39 billion (over the next ten years) from Food Stamps (the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP) despite 32,000 fellow Minnesotans benefiting from the program. Echoing Bachmann’s…

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