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March 29, 2024

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No Time for Tuckerman -

Thursday, August 3, 2023

The Quitter Returns! -

Monday, March 21, 2022

Putting the goober in gubernatorial -

Friday, January 28, 2022

BREAKING: Conoco Rakes in Your Money

ConocoPhillips makes a lot of money. This seems like an obvious statement, but its one that Governor Sean Parnell, and his oily ilk in the Alaska legislature are hoping you and everyone you know will forget when it comes time to vote on the repeal of SB21. So they run around with their hair on fire yelling things like “Incentivize production!” and “It’s complicated!” and tell us that if we don’t start sobbing and throwing cash at the big 3 oil producers, and if we repeal SB21, well… they’re going to leave us for someone else like Libya or North…

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Three Dans Too Many

An invitation! We got an invitation! And it’s pink and blue and calligraphied all fancy-like! Are Mayor Dan Sullivan and Bill and Michelle Bittner going to have a baby? Are Dan Coffey and his wife Pauline going to get married again? No, wait. It’s an “announcement of great importance to the future of Anchorage.” Wow. Hold on just a second… We’re getting a Red Lobster?     Alas, no to all of the above. Instead, Dan Coffey, the former Assemblyman and Sullivan minion/mancrush, has decided to run for Mayor. Not really that surprising. You may recall Dan Coffey is the…

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The Great GOP Cannibal War of 2013: News from the Front

I return to you breathless, stumbling into camp, clutching a piece of paper. Think of me as your scout, bringing the latest dispatch from the front. I report to you from the Great Cannibal War of 2013-2014, which some of you may know as the Alaska GOP Senate race. General Joe Miller’s’ forces are all in line. They’re hanging around, polishing their buttons, steam ironing their Snake Flags, and running a lint roller over their three-cornered hats. But the other side, the “moderate” side is in disarray. What could have been an easy primary battle, has turned into what the…

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Parnell Tells Jewell, “Call my people.”

Alaska Governor Sean Parnell has earned himself a reputation for not being very assertive, a bit of a pushover if you will. Typically, this criticism comes from the governor’s own party. Even Alaska’s lone Congressman has referred to him as a “zero” on more than one occasion. That, coupled with the fact that it is totally en vogue to bash every facet of the federal government, might explain Governor Parnell’s latest bout of nastygrams sent to federal agencies. Last week, the day prior to the end of the federal government shutdown, Governor Parnell sent Interior Secretary Sally Jewell a letter. The…

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Sullivan Joins GOP Senate Cannibal Circus

Today, Dan Sullivan (R) announced his run for the U.S. Senate. This particular Mr. Sullivan has the misfortune to share his name with: 1) The weasly, morally bankrupt Mayor of Anchorage 2) The man who started the great Chicago fire of 1871, and let Mrs. O’Leary’s cow take the blame. He also holds the distinction of being the third candidate on the Republican side to be seeking the office currently held by Democrat Mark Begich. Sullivan and current Lt. Governor Mead Treadwell are expected to split the “sanity vote” (although that distinction is subjective), while former and current candidate Joe…

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Send Cruz & Co. to North Slope

As we trip along our merry way through the government shut down, and straight toward the Cliffs of Default, the mighty Matt Taibbi has penned his thoughts on the political landscape for Rolling Stone. Having lived in the former Soviet Union for ten years, Taibbi finds himself musing, “What Would Stalin Do?” about the pack of representatives who seem to have come straight from the back of the school bus, to the back bench of Congress. I’m guessing he would have taken Tea Party Sen. Ted Cruz’s caucus members, loaded them onto cattle cars, and relocated them to a piece…

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Virginia Kills Santa

(Washington, DC) — While the government shutdown may currently be the most nationally covered spectacle to emit from this town it is, incredibly, not the most disgusting thing to happen within it. That dubious distinction is reserved for its service as prime media market for the Virginia gubernatorial race. In this corner: Ken Cuccinelli (R) Consumers of progressive media are by now well versed in the Virginia Attorney General’s draconian platform on social issues, and MSNBC’s infotainers have made Cuccinelli a poster child for his party’s most talibanesque tendencies. He’s also a craven lad, as his most recent ad features an African-American…

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Bible-Thumping Reverse Robin Hoods

“The extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:40) In 2011, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R. Minn.) suggested that Hurricane Irene was God telling us that government spending was out of control. Believing the Almighty to be heavily invested in the U.S. budget and despite Christ’s words on charity, little wonder she just voted with 216 of her Republican colleagues in Congress to slash 4 million people and $39 billion (over the next ten years) from Food Stamps (the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP) despite 32,000 fellow Minnesotans benefiting from the program. Echoing Bachmann’s…

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The Tea Party’s Favorite Painter

Have you ever flipped through cable channels while impaired, lingering on some freakishly weird Lawrence Welk Show dance moves for a few seconds of guilty pleasure? Looking at the works of right-wing Utah painter Jon McNaughton is kind of like that. If you haven’t exposed yourself to the visual splendor of his überpatriotic art, you’re so missing out. Stylistically, McNaughton cranks out the kind of representational schlock a Days Inn manager circa 1975 would have been too embarrassed to hang in one of his guest rooms. He makes Thomas Kinkade look like Damien Hirst. During his studies at Brigham Young University, McNaughton…

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It’s Not Dems vs. GOP

 All politics is local.  —Tip O’Neill None of these Republicans are going to feel it in their districts. Their districts love this stuff. —Jim Vandehei, Politico Washington, DC — You know you’re in trouble when Eric Cantor looks like a moderate. The current fight over the government shutdown isn’t between Republicans and Democrats. It’s between incumbent Republicans and their fear of a Tea Party primary challenge. One does not succeed in elected office by being indifferent to one’s own survival. There is little incentive for incumbent House Republicans to be reasonable, and every political incentive for them to be obstructionist and…

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