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May 18, 2021

Guess What Happened to Palin’s Attorney?

It’s time for our latest once-in-a-while episode of “What Ever Happened to…?” wherein we discover the fate of some of our favorite Palinbots from the bygone era of the shortest gubernatorial term in Alaska state history. In our last episode we discovered that Truth Squad team captain Ed O’Callaghan made his way all the way to the White House where he delivered a misleading report on immigration last month! We’re all so proud. This week, I’m excited to report that we’re keeping up with one of our most favoritest ever villains in the Palin melodrama. Long-time Mudflatters may remember him…

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Epic Non-Apology for ‘Serious Retaliation’ from Wasilla Senator

You’ll all be pleased to know that the Alaska legislature is still the best reality show on the internets. And as per history, Wasilla Republicans continue to deliver the goods. For those of you who need a little background, I’ll try to make this as quick and painless as possible. Senator David Wilson (R-Wasilla) was outed on the AK Landmine for committing a weird and distasteful display of vulgarity and all-around inappropriate creepiness to a well-respected high-level staffer. We’ll call her Ann Smith [not her name]. The bottom line is that Wilson was trying to get a listen to a…

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Return of the Truth Squad!

I know what you’ve been wondering for the last 10 years. What ever happened to Ed O’Callaghan? On the off chance you haven’t been wondering this for the last 10 years, let me refresh your memory. Way back in 2008, another very stable Republican with a new executive branch seat was under investigation for abuse of power. Yes, I speak of the once half-governor of Alaska who was then running to become the Vice President of the United States. At the time, we thought that would be the worst possible ever thing to happen – why, she’d be a heartbeat…

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I’m not being racist here, but…

Have you ever noticed right before someone says something racist, they say, “I’m not being racist here, but…”, and then they say something racist. You know what’s coming. A Denali tour pilot wrote something racist online and he’s feeling the brunt of many Alaskans who are tired of racism against Native Alaskans. Among other things, the pilot said “no Natives.” I realize he’s an out of stater, but part of the historical shame that magnified his comments were the “No Dogs, No Natives” signs that used to hang in too many of businesses. One of the commenters on the article…

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Trump/Republicans Not Any Different on Abortion

Donald Trump has finally said something I believe. He’s since walked it back, but this week he said he believed women should be punished for abortions. He also said he didn’t think anything should happen to the man who impregnated the woman. That seems fair. Holy hell has torn loose. The anti-abortion and pro-abortion rights people came together in shock that the GOP presidential front runner would say such a thing. The anti-abortion surrogates hit the television circuit to say how much they loved women who consider abortion and would like to “take care of them” not punish them. Sen…

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The Pete Kelly Lisa Murkowski Surreality Show

State Sen. Pete Kelly, a Republican from Fairbanks, has introduced a bill to allow University of Alaska students to carry guns on campuses and into dorms. That’s public policy even more harebrained than putting pregnancy tests into bar bathrooms. Did Pete go to college? Did he live in a dorm? If so, he apparently didn’t notice that dorms aren’t exactly hothouses of good judgment. Adding firearms just increases the opportunity for adolescent bad judgment to become truly tragic. I sure wouldn’t send my kid to live in a dorm populated with gun-toting teenagers. I haven’t figured out what Kelly does…

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Alaska’s Dirty Little Secret, and Why Bernie Can Win

To the disappointment of conspiracy nuts across the U.S. of A, President Barack Obama confirmed this week he won’t run for a third term. Even if he could, he said, his wife wouldn’t let him. And besides, why would he want to get treated like the substitute teacher for another four years? Oh, that’s right. The only people crazier than armed bird refuge squatters are those contending for the GOP nomination for president. I wonder what any one of the GOP candidates thinks about Alaska? Drill? Um, we tried that. The oil companies are going to keep our oil in…

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President Trump Wants Palin in Cabinet

I’d like Sarah Palin to be in a cabinet too – preferably one that is soundproof. But, we don’t always get what we want. Loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Donald Trump is running for office. And he’d love to have loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Sarah Palin in his cabinet in the unlikely event he is elected President of the United States. When you think about it, it’s really amazing these two haven’t connected long before now. I mean, ok, there was that awkward first date where they both ate…

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Alaska Lemming Caucus Over the Edge

This has been a difficult week for many Alaskans. So much uncertainty as 10,000 pink slips go to our friends and neighbors working for the state. Fairbanks Sen. Pete Kelly argues they aren’t pink slips, because there’s an “if” in them, as in “You’re not laid off if a handful of senators get their poop together.” Of course, we know there’s no chance Pete and his collaborators will get their poop together. Instead of pink slips, people online are calling them “Pete slips.” Our current legislative crisis is the handiwork of a small cabal of senators who refuse to compromise their misguided ideology. The…

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Speedo Sinks Alaska Gov’s Appointee

Amid a firestorm of gasps, giggles, and moral outrage, Alaska’s Governor Bill Walker (I) has withdrawn from consideration an appointee to the Alaska Commission on Judicial Conduct. Jeff Landfield’s own conduct came under scrutiny after several Facebook photos came to light, which the governor’s spokesperson Grace Jang said were “disrespectful” and “misogynistic,” a characterization Landfield disputes. No specific images were cited, but Landfield’s personal Facebook page is a cornucopia of party pics, poolside Las Vegas romps, and boozy musings. The position Landfield hoped to take for the Walker administration handles complaints filed against state judges – an unpaid appointment which…

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