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June 21, 2021

Headlines:

Governor Sean Parnell: Lord of the Flaming Pants

Former director of government relations in Alaska for ConocoPhillips, Sean Parnell made an announcement on Tuesday. Some of you may know him by his other job working for the lobbying firm that represented ExxonMobil against Alaskans in the matter of a little oil spill that happened in Prince William Sound. Some of you may also know him as Captain Zero, or Caribou Ken, or SeanocoParnellips. However you know him, he also currently wears the mantle of Governor of the State of Alaska. But it’s been difficult for Sean to turn against his old bosses. He’s a loyal foot soldier, and…

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If You Pay Her, She Will Run – The Latest on Palin 2012 from SarahPAC

Do you think she’ll run? Will she or won’t she? Well… she might, but then again she might not. She’ll decide soon. But it’s too soon now. She could wait… or she could decide now, if she wanted to. But she doesn’t want to right now. She’s not ready. She’s thinking. She’s scoping out the other candidates. She’s assessing. Maybe she’s being foolish to wait so long. Maybe she’s waiting so long because she’s crazy like a fox.  Maybe everyone else is playing tiddly-winks and she’s playing pick-up-sticks. Will she run as a Republican, or a third party candidate? Would…

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The Only Reason to Stop Pebble is to Keep Fish, Says Pebble Supporter.

Ah, Paul Jenkins. You may remember him as one of our “odd bedfellows” during the reign of Sarah Palin. Normally, wildly off the mark, Mr. Jenkins was actually spot on about Sarah, and surgically shredded her in the Anchorage Daily News on a regular basis. He did this not because he had suddenly seen the error of his political ways, but because she stuck it to the oil companies. And Mr. Jenkins and his oily, resource extractin’ at any price pals were not amused. It’s sad, because Mr. Jenkins is not stupid, nor is he a bad writer. And during…

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A Lawsuit in Gov. Sean Parnell’s Future? Stonewalling Angers Anti-Coal Groups.

~The mouth of the Chuit River, between Tyonek and Beluga, Alaska Remember, way back last year when I rode a bus in a snowstorm to go hear testimony in Kenai? It was all about whether to designate the land around the Chuit River “unsuitable” for coal mining. The way it stands now, PacRim Coal plans to (for the first time ever) actually dig up eleven miles of productive salmon stream for a giant open pit coal mine.  “Don’t worry,” they say. “We’ll just put it back the way it was when we’re done.” Well, it doesn’t take a biologist to…

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Fill the Boot, and Boot the Mayor

Driving down Northern Lights Boulevard yesterday, through the heart of our municipality on a lovely Friday afternoon, I saw something that made me do a double-take. I saw… the enemy. Not MY enemy, mind you, but the declared enemy of our city’s mayor, Dan Sullivan. Second only to homeless people, the mayor has it in for this sinister duo of panhandling grifters. I speak, of course of… (scary organ chord)… firefighters, and sick children. (blood curdling scream) Mayor Sullivan, and several members of the Anchorage Assembly did their darndest last year to quash the most profitable fundraiser for the Muscular…

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Captain Zero Greets CPAC in Alaska

‘Tis the season! No, not the moose rut. No, not the last run of silvers. ‘Tis the season that conservatives emerge from the sea and make their landfall on the arctic shores of Alaska. We’ve talked before about the “Tea Party at Sea” ship on The Mudflats. And now, there seems to have been yet another starboard leaning vessel that has docked in Juneau. Rather than heading for the misty hills of that fair city screaming when the invaders arrived, Governor Sean “Captain Zero” Parnell did the political equivalent of throwing flowers and candy. Yes, he greeted CPAC as liberators….

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Ben Stevens – the One that Got Away

An Open Letter from Wickersham’s Conscience to Attorney General John Burns about Ben Stevens, former State Senate President and son of the late Senator Ted Stevens. August 11, 2011 John J. Burns, Attorney General Department of Law PO Box 110300 Juneau, AK 99811 Re: Ben Stevens Dear Attorney General Burns: The Anchorage Daily News reports today that Ben Stevens will not be subject to federal prosecution. Based on the federal prosecutors’ track record in Operation Polar Pen has been pretty pitiful. But just because the Feds have abandoned their claims against Ben Stevens doesn’t mean the State of Alaska has to let him…

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Turkey in the Straw Poll – Palin Crashes the Party (Updated)

Today, Iowa Republicans gather to get their little thumbs inked as they vote in the Ames Straw Poll telling an eager nation who they would vote for in the presidential election of 2012. The straw poll has predicted the president two of the last five times, and while the poll itself means absolutely nothing in real life, a poor showing in the poll could nix a candidacy. But wait… What’s that rumbling they hear coming over the horizon? Why, look! It’s the return of the bus! Yes, folks, the One Nation bus tour (aka Palin family vacation) has come roaring…

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New Oil Rigs Shipped to Alaska Cause Pants to Ignite!

~Shiny new oil rigs bound for Prudhoe Bay, Alaska If you listen to the oil companies, their lobbyists, and the cadre of legislators and elected officials they’ve purchased over the years, you’d think it’s the end of the world. They run in circles, hair on fire, rending garments, pounding their own foreheads with their palms and wailing, “Nobody wants to invest in Alaska anymore! It’s too hard! We’re too regressive! The poor oil companies can’t make a living! They’re going to go somewhere else if we don’t give them everything they want! Aaaaaaaa!” It’s an ugly sight. First, of course,…

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D Student in Economics Knew it All Along – the Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin

~Sarah Palin, the future financial prophet, in college. Her economics themed attire reads: “I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted.” Yes, those fancy spectacles that may or may not have prescription lenses certainly gave the former governor 20/20 hindsight. You see, she predicted the United States’ credit downgrade all along. Yes, she did. Alaska’s half-term fiscal prognosticator knew it the whole time. She used her favorite social media tool, her Facebook page, to deliver the lengthy “Told Ya So!” to the nation about Standard and Poor’s smack down that took the nation from a AAA to a AA+…

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