My Twitter Feed

June 24, 2021

Headlines:

The Pete Kelly Lisa Murkowski Surreality Show

State Sen. Pete Kelly, a Republican from Fairbanks, has introduced a bill to allow University of Alaska students to carry guns on campuses and into dorms. That’s public policy even more harebrained than putting pregnancy tests into bar bathrooms. Did Pete go to college? Did he live in a dorm? If so, he apparently didn’t notice that dorms aren’t exactly hothouses of good judgment. Adding firearms just increases the opportunity for adolescent bad judgment to become truly tragic. I sure wouldn’t send my kid to live in a dorm populated with gun-toting teenagers. I haven’t figured out what Kelly does…

Half-Term Governor Palin Endorses Half-Wit Donald Trump

Palin endorsement looking to bring in voters with only half a brain. Palin, who MSNBC’s Chuck Todd referred to as, “the woman that used to be the biggest reality star in politics” is set later today to endorse the new biggest reality star in politics, The Donald. Palin, who has been relatively absent from the political scene so far this Presidential campaign season is en route to Iowa to join the Trump campaign around the state. Trump’s campaign released a press release ahead of the 6pm press conference in Iowa calling Palin an “influential conservative.” The Donald was quoted in…

President Trump Wants Palin in Cabinet

I’d like Sarah Palin to be in a cabinet too – preferably one that is soundproof. But, we don’t always get what we want. Loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Donald Trump is running for office. And he’d love to have loudmouth fake political celebrity, and bad hairpiece-wearing reality TV star Sarah Palin in his cabinet in the unlikely event he is elected President of the United States. When you think about it, it’s really amazing these two haven’t connected long before now. I mean, ok, there was that awkward first date where they both ate…

NRA Leaders Speechify – Aloha Akhbar?!

For a weekend conference designed to celebrate and protect Americans’ second amendment rights, the Leadership Conference at the annual convention of the National Rifle Association sounded a whole lot more like a fire and brimstone tent revival to quash the political aspirations of future Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana “The leader of the vast left wing conspiracy will be announcing her candidacy,” said Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, during an unscheduled moment with the press before the event started. Jindal described this event in vague terms as an unholy alliance between big business and the Hollywood elite….

Oyster Roundup – Jail Break, Flaming Pants, and Commie Frog

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more! This is Alaska… A 30-year old man escaped from jail during a bathroom break in the remote Western Alaska village of Alakanuk. It’s been nine years since Kevin Patrick has escaped from the Alakanuk jail during a bathroom break. This time his arrest was for drunk driving. The last time it was for assaulting a police officer with a shovel. After the first jail break, he was caught and arrested by trooper Eric Spitzer in a now infamous case where Patrick sued the state for the trooper’s…

Oyster Roundup!

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more and more! A Mudflatter recently asked me what an “Oyster Roundup” was, and I thought it might be time to give a refresher. In the epic poem “The Walrus and the Carpenter” from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass, the two main characters walk along the beach and entice young naive oysters from their beds to “take a walk”. (Pay no attention to the buttered bread and pepper, oysters!) As Carroll describes the exodus of the oysters from the sea, he says “Thick and fast they came at last, and…