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June 14, 2021

Headlines:

DC Dan’s Embryonic Memory

US Senate hopeful Dan Sullivan (R-OH–>DC–>AK) has decided to boost his nonexistent Alaska cred by campaign-branding the most traumatic event in Anchorage history. In addition to slapping his logo on the Good Friday Quake, Dan pours on the “we remember.” Given that the quake hit our city roughly 8 months before Sullivan’s birth in Ohio, his precocious, in-utero grasp of geological phenomena like the shifting of tectonic plates must have been impressive. The actual Alaskan in the Senate race shows our visitor from Ohio/DC how it’s done: Translation: “There’s no need to explicitly remind you I was born and raised here….