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May 17, 2021

Mudflats’ Top 13 of 2013

Since it’s two millennia plus a baker’s dozen on the calendar, we thought that it seemed appropriate to give a nod to the top 13 Mudflats stories of 2013. We noticed that six of the top 13 posts are about a certain former half governor who used to steer Alaska’s ship of state.  We’re not quite sure what to make of this. We’re not ones to pat ourselves on the back, but that option is less horrifying to us than thinking that Sarah Palin is still all that important. We prefer instead to believe that she has simply morphed, devolved…

Palin’s Book & My Xmas Pilgrimage to Wasilla

Christmas Eve was a bitter night. Despite my best efforts, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I was not going to make it through blogging all of Sarah Palin’s Christmas book, Good Tidings and Great Joy, before the big day. There just wasn’t enough eggnog in the world to keep up the pace. I had debated at one point handling this predicament like that children’s hide-and-seek trick, where they’re supposed to count to a hundred before they come find you. “One, two, skip a few, ninety-nine, one hundred!” Chapter 1, almost done, skip the crap, I’m fin-ished! But I…

Good Tidings & Great Pain, Top 10 Atrocities Ch. 4

Yes, I’ve seen it. I have seen Dan Savage’s review of Palin’s book. It’s been sent to me on Facebook, posted to my wall, sent to the Mudflats page, emailed to me, tweeted at me, left in comments. It’s very funny. Dan Savage got off easy. That’s all I’m saying. Spoiler Alert: His husband threw the book away before he’d even gotten to Chapter 1. He wrote a review of the introduction. I wish I had Dan Savage’s husband, but Dan Savage was the better man and got him first. And so here I sit, egg nog in hand, as…

Palin, Ducks & Free Speech

OK, so I guess I’m writing this. I tried really hard not to, but if one more person screamed, “First Amendment!” in defense of this self proclaimed hillbilly, I think I’d cry. [Sidenote: Can I say that if you get a paycheck from the Arts and Entertainment Network, you immediately lose your ‘hillbilly’ creds.] The Half Hearted Governor Sarah Palin dressed in camo, that she claims she wears ‘all’ the time went on Fox News to bloviate: “This is all about freedom, free speech, you know, so many American families have spilled blood and treasure to guarantee Phil Robertson and…

Good Tidings & Great Pain – The Rill Dill

The invisible war is come. It is insidious. It lurks out of your conscious mind, weaving its evil spell. You don’t even know it’s happening because the War on Christmas is cleverly disguised… as Christmas itself. It’s like the monster under your bed, disguised as a sock. Or that person following your car five miles back that you never really see. But ohhhhh, he’s there. It’s all designed to lull you into believing that monsters don’t exist, and that the CIA is not following you to the mall. Clever. Veeeeery clever. But not clever enough for Sarah Palin. We’re still…

Good Tidings & Great Pain – Blogging Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book, Ch. 3

Remember when you were a kid, and starting to get excited about Christmas, but not really thinking about gifts yet, and some delightful aunt, or your grandma sent you something in the mail – a big oversized envelope with more than one stamp – and said you could open it early? Maybe this didn’t happen to you, so you can borrow my memory if you need to. What could this surprise envelope be? And with a mandate to open early? Too good to be true. Inside was an advent calendar. A beautiful Christmas scene printed on it – a Christmas…

Teddy Talks – A Palin Xmas, Pt. 3

OK, kids. Gather ’round, it’s story time again. The cognac is starting to warm my toes, and numb the part of my brain that gets all twitchy when things don’t make sense. That means I’m ready to dive back into Sarah Palin’s book. Before we get to the random series of words, let’s start off with a picture. Here’s my favorite. It’s little Sarah, and I’m not sure, but this photo of Christmas Past may hold a clue as to what went terribly terribly wrong with our young Sarah. Look deeply. And listen… Teddy: Yes. Yes, that’s it, Little Sarah….

Good Tidings & Great Pain – A Palin Xmas, Ch. 1

Good tidings. Great joy! And the miracle of a baby’s birth. Not just a regular baby – the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God. A baby who would grow into a man who communed with the poor, the outcasts, the wretched, the lost souls. A man who would save them, and heal them, and love them. A giver of second chances, and hope. A bringer of love, compassion, salvation and forgiveness. That’s what Sarah Palin’s book is all about, she says in the Introduction. “Good Tidings and Great Joy – Saving the Heart of Christmas.” It’s not about trivial…

Good Tidings & Great Pain – A Palin Xmas, Intro

Today, I walked into Barnes & Noble on a mission. A horrible, horrible mission. “Hahaha,” you say, “Did you buy Sarah Palin’s new book?” And then you wait to hear what I was really doing there. Awkward pause. That IS what I was really doing there. I had a tough choice, once I found myself actually holding her book. Because, to  be honest “The Zombie’s Guide to the Holidays” in the impulse buy section by the register seemed like it would be a better read. And it had a cute little snowflake bookmark. But then it hit me… “A Zombie’s…

Oyster Roundup – Cool Pope, Crazy Cruz & More

Gather round little ones! It’s time for a cool half-dozen slurpable newsy bites on the half shell. We Heart the Pope There goes that Pope again, giving Christians a good name. Sarah Palin noted, with some consternation that this Pope is sounding kind of “liberal” and her verdict is still out. While the former half-term governor of Alaska “does her homework” and figures out that Jesus was a liberal, the Pope turned his ire toward corruption. Take heed governments around the world and the Vatican. AwesomePope is not pleased with you, and says “the corrupt should be tied to a…