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September 22, 2021

Sarah Palin and the Long, Shiny Road to Irrelevance

Sarah Palin is not running for the presidency. I’d been waiting to hear that since the day after the 2008 presidential election, which is ostensibly when she began running for the presidency. From the moment she “went rogue” on the campaign trail, calling out then-candidate Obama for “pallin’ around with terrorists,” and contemplating an unauthorized trip back to Michigan to try to win a state that the McCain campaign had given up on, she had ideas and plans of her own. She lamented in her book Going Rogue that the campaign had shackled her. Why couldn’t they just “let Sarah…

Sarah Palin is at ‘Drop Dead’ +4, and Just Getting Started

Maggie Haberman and Ken Vogel of Politico got some interesting buzz today. Apparently they each have sources who tell them that a certain (looks around the room) “mystery candidate” has had someone at her OR HIS law firm, (shifts nervously) make a few strategic phone calls to certain early primary states (nudge nudge) to find out when certain filing deadlines for a certain high office in the executive branch might be… (wiggles eyebrows) This particular law firm, called Baker Hostetler employs a particular lawyer named Mark Braden. Mr. Braden represents… SarahPAC, Sarah Palin’s political action committee. Go figure. A certain…

If You Pay Her, She Will Run – The Latest on Palin 2012 from SarahPAC

Do you think she’ll run? Will she or won’t she? Well… she might, but then again she might not. She’ll decide soon. But it’s too soon now. She could wait… or she could decide now, if she wanted to. But she doesn’t want to right now. She’s not ready. She’s thinking. She’s scoping out the other candidates. She’s assessing. Maybe she’s being foolish to wait so long. Maybe she’s waiting so long because she’s crazy like a fox.  Maybe everyone else is playing tiddly-winks and she’s playing pick-up-sticks. Will she run as a Republican, or a third party candidate? Would…

Turkey in the Straw Poll – Palin Crashes the Party (Updated)

Today, Iowa Republicans gather to get their little thumbs inked as they vote in the Ames Straw Poll telling an eager nation who they would vote for in the presidential election of 2012. The straw poll has predicted the president two of the last five times, and while the poll itself means absolutely nothing in real life, a poor showing in the poll could nix a candidacy. But wait… What’s that rumbling they hear coming over the horizon? Why, look! It’s the return of the bus! Yes, folks, the One Nation bus tour (aka Palin family vacation) has come roaring…

Oyster Roundup! Bastards Flee, Palin Flops, and Traffickers Wed

~Thick and fast they came at last and more, and more, and more… Corrupt Bastards Seek to Flee the Scene of the Crime Former Alaska Speaker of the House Pete Kott (R), and former Alaska House Rep. Vic Kohring (R) have asked for a new venue for their impending retrial. Both were successful in having their guilty conviction overturned, and getting new trials. They successfully argued that the prosecution had withheld evidence about their main witness that might have been helpful to the defense. You see, surprisingly, the oil companies had a nefarious bad guy bribing legislators. Nelson Mandela must…

Happy Birthday, Sarah! Surpriiiiise!

OK, everyone. Hide behind the couch! Shhhhh! Sarah’s coming! It’s her birthday, and we’re going to give her a little surprise. This is going to be awesome! She’ll never suspect. (I clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing in anticipation of the shock that is about to ensue) This is the last thing in the world she’ll see coming.  Here. Here’s the note that explains everything! (I shove a crumpled email printout into your hand and tell you my comments will be in red) I’m writing today in hopes that you will take just one minute right…

And the Twit Goes On.

Cartoon by Tom Tomorrow 7 days and counting.  One week from today, Sarah Palin will join the ranks of national political celebrities and finally leave our poor little state alone.  Then, she’ll be everyone’s problem – bursting through cracked doors with abandon, electrifying the base, talking to Fox News at will, raking in gobs of money, and … opening a new Twitter account. That’s right, soon-to-be-ex-governor Sarah Palin herself has told us, through her communications medium of choice, Twitter, that she can’t wait until July 26 when she steps down from her position as governor, so she can stop being…

Welcome to the Fray.

There’s a bit of sage advice that most politicians take to heart:  Rise above the fray.  President Obama is a great example of how this works.  Sarah Palin and spokeswoman Meg Stapleton are a great example of why the advice exists in the first place, and as we have seen before, they are main characters in yet another cautionary tale. After the now infamous “Divagate” incident, Palin spokeswoman Meg Stapleton issued the following ill-conceived screed: Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother’s…

Palin Backer Wanted to Pay the Clintons to be Friends With Sarah.

John Coale, husband of Fox’s Greta Van Susteren, who is oddly bipartisan and likes getting to know powerful female politicians and promoting their careers in a way that borders on the creepy, tried to be a matchmaker to the stars.  He figured if Sarah Palin used the legally allowed $5000 from her PAC money to pay off some of Hillary Clinton’s campaign debt, then Democrats and Independents would like her more, and wouldn’t pick on her so much.  Apparently, after he sobered up and still thought it was a good idea, he came to Alaska with his wife to see Todd Palin…

“Alaska Fund Trust” – It’s the New SarahPAC!

SarahPAC is so….yesterday.  All the cool kids are now throwing their hard-earned money to Alaska Fund Trust! Campaign Solutions, the Republican consulting firm running the show at SarahPAC has dropped the PAC like a hot potato “parted ways” with Sarah Palin’s political action committee, whose first financial disclosure we can look forward to in June.   This news came the day after an ethics complaint was filed against the governor alleging that the contractual relationship between the Governor and SarahPAC is a violation of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.  The group had been working with the Palin operation to raise money for SarahPAC…