Click Bishop Takes a Page from Palin – Reads Dr. Seuss

ClickBishop-DrSeussRepublican Senator Click Bishop, whose district covers land from Fairbanks to Valdez took a page from Sarah Palin and read a story by Dr. Seuss to the Alaska State Senate. Well, it wasn’t quite a Dr. Seuss original – more of a revision of Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham seen through the filter of government overreach.

Unlike Half-Term Palin’s teleprompter read at CPAC last year (when she held the book as a prop), Click seems to have actually written the words down in a copy of Green Eggs and Ham. I’m hoping that he bought a new copy and didn’t ruin one of from his grandkids.

Click was not taking part in a filibuster, like Sen. Ted Cruz was when he also read Green Eggs and Ham in the US Senate, but the distinguished State Senator from Fairbanks also read the entire book into the record, taking up several minutes of time. The video, below, was posted to the Alaska Senate Majority Youtube page earlier today, clearly they are quite proud of this.

Let’s take a moment and look over some of Bard Bishop’s words.

He starts with a simple name switch from the original. Easy, keeping it simple.

I am Click, Click I am

THEN – wham – he shocks us with a switch of the original “green eggs and ham.”

I do not like this federal plan

Sly, move there Click. Making it political – Charlie Hebdo would be proud. Je suis Clique.

Do I like to hunt and fish and put my moose meat in a dish?

Ok, I get that dish rhymes with fish and plate doesn’t but – If you’re serving up some hate, then you put it on a plate.

Your NPS they’re on a tear. They’re in my camp, they’re on my boat.
And they point their tazers at my throat.

Ok, ok… we’re getting a bit over the top here but it’s parody. I’ll allow it.

Could you, would you let us drill, we have the folks, and they have the skill
We have the oil underground, and we’ll leave it nicer than we found.

Hmm. How many oil wells are currently drilled with no oil company operating them? Wasn’t that one of the points of SB21? Also, I’m not sure that the the fishermen and women of Prince William Sound would agree that it’s “nicer” now.

Would you, could you, just one time
let Alaska’s miners mine.

Well, if you’re talking about Pebble Mine, polling shows that 60% of Alaskans (not just environmentalists) don’t want the mine. But other than that – mining is happening in Alaska. Metal mining alone is 7% of the states GDP and just look at this map – it’s happening all over the state.

Could you would you if you please, let us drill in the Chuckchi Sea?
Could you let us please explore that vast potential just off shore.

Click, please check out the recent NY Times article on Shell’s attempt. If that doesn’t make you worrisome then I’m not sure what will. And FYI for Alaskans, offshore drilling doesn’t benefit your PFD. We assume all the risk and get none of the benefit.

Just one more thing before you go, there’s something Uncle you should know.
The line’s been crossed, we’ve had enough, You shouldn’t really call our bluff.

Cuz we Alaskans might seem sweet. But chances are we’re packing heat.

Hasn’t your district already had enough problems with people threatening Federal law enforcement officers? Isn’t a Mr. Schaeffer Cox and his contingent former residents of the Interior?


Here is the full transcript from the video written up by TheMudflats (before I noticed that there was one in the youtube description). Please note that at the end of it there was several other members of the Senate banging desks in agreement. So this is what our State Senate has become, a children’s nursery. We’ve got 2 years of this folks – next time around let’s hope that some adults actually vote. 

I am Click, Click I am.
I do not like this federal plan.
I do not like it Uncle Sam.
Do I like to hunt and fish, and put my moose meat in a dish?
I do, I like my wild game.
And I like my fish from where it came.
I do not like you in my hair (brushes hand over is balding head)
Your NPS they’re on a tear.

They’re in my camp, they’re on my boat,
And they point their tazers at my throat.
I do not like this federal plan, I do not like it Uncle Sam.
I do not like your crazy rules, like those proposed by Sally Jewell
I do not like them here, there,

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not want them near or far, I do not want them Sally Jewell or Salazar
Could you would you let us drill, we have the folks, and they have the skill.
We have the oil underground, and we’ll leave it nicer than we found.
I do not like your EPA, they’ve run amok and they’re in the way.
I do not like this federal plan, I do not like it Uncle Sam
Would you, could you, just one time
let Alaska’s miners mine.
They bust their buts through thick and thin
And then you send a SWAT team in.
Could you would you if you please, let us drill in the Chuckchi Sea?
Could you let us please explore that vast potential just off shore.
You couldn’t, wouldn’t on a bet. Let us get those drill rigs wet.
You bow to Greenies, these are facts, environmental east coast wacks(?) <—–Did Don Young write this?
Would you could you on a plane? Would you could you on a train?
Would you could you pack your crap, and hit the road and don’t look back.
Just one more thing before you go, there’s something Uncle you should know.
The line’s been crossed, we’ve had enough you shouldn’t really call our bluff.
Cuz we Alaskans might seen sweet. But chances are we’re packing heat.

Thank you [smattering of chuckles and pounding of tables]

I believe we can fight this Federal overreach, and win… and protect Alaska’s rights, our state’s rights to explore and develop our resources for all Alaskans and do it in a manner that respects all Alaskans.

Here’s Sarah’s take.